Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The year in review

Well, as I look back at 2009, I have to say I have experienced some of the best and worst moments of my life. There are definitely decisions I've made that I'm not the proudest of, but then again, no one is perfect and mistakes were created so we could learn right? Here is a quick year in review:

Number of masters degrees earned: 1 (woot woot....even if it is totally worthless....LOL)

Number of times I've moved: 3 ( I know I could hardly believe it myself!)

Number of guitars acquired: 2- one for my birthday and a sweet, very expensive, Christmas present. Thanks mom and dad! (One day I will finally achieve my goal of becoming a one woman circus side show one woman band freak! I'm so close I can taste it now!)

Number of foiled romances: 5...that's almost one every 2 know, I complain that I don't date...I guess its just that things are either so fast or so long and drawn out that I always feel like I'm being disappointed. I guess that is a goal for something to change in 2010. Then again, I don't know if there is much I can do to change my sad, sorry state. I think I just need to accept that perhaps I will be old and alone, which won't be so bad....I could get a dog...a really really really big dog, and I could train him in German, that way when I yell commands like "sit" it will sound like I'm dangerous or something...LOL

Number of prospective successful/foiled romances: 1....the jury is still out. I've been dating him about a month now. He's starting to take some breathing room...or so it seems. He's started finding excuses not to spend time with me...which is fine. I have learned my lesson, I'll let him breathe....for a while...but I also won't allow myself to draw this one out. Foiled relationships and heartbreak I've found are like a just need to rip it off quick. It stings and hurts a lot at first but you find that you feel oddly relieved once its off. Side note- I really don't want to rip this band aid off, this one is definitely a keeper...not an egomaniac, not selfish, not a pervert... Perhaps I will tell you all about Sam one day, but I kind of want to keep this one private. I always blab about how happy I am only to have my heart broken the next day....true story! I kid you not! So I will share stories once he's done taking his breathing room.

Number of times I've been to the temple: I have to be honest, I haven't really counted this one. I was going once a week this summer, which is weird considering that the temple was 4 hours away. When I first got home to Idaho, I was going twice a week, but that has stopped since I got a job. I have plans to go next week, at least twice. I hope it works out. I miss it, I love it, and I need it!

Number of new family members: 1- little Brianna Louise Maguire was born on 12-26 at 8:36 PM to Kiersten and her husband Joe! She weighed in at a hefty 6 pounds. She is a tiny little baby doll looking thing and I can't get enough of her!

Number of pounds lost: 15....and all since I've been home from Missoula. Its amazing what being content can do for your waistline. I haven't really changed anything, I think that I finally just decided I was content with what I am and who I am and God smiled and said "Okay....prove it!" LOL

I'm sure there are far more things for me to review, and if I think of them, I will surely write them, but these are the biggies! ( or atleast the things that are the most fresh in my cerebral cortex)

SO what is next right?

Well, my friends, I will start school again on January 11 at Idaho State University. In two more years I will have my teaching credentials and a slightly more useful degree...LOL...I can't wait to be a tyrant, I can't wait to build my own musical out world...they are going to give me the power to rule the youth of America! Who knows what I could do with that power...its positively cosmic...almost like being a genie...except I can't grant wishes and stuff...but I can create something beautiful. That I can do, and I am so excited for that. I think that is why I love music so much. I can create something beautiful, something sad and beautiful, something happy and beautiful.

I can say that I definitely have a testimony that we are not alone, and I have gained this testimony through music. Think about it: If you take a song, any song, and you think about the lyrics, or the meaning, or the story behind the song, you find that someone, somewhere, at some time has felt exactly the same way that you feel or have felt. Its so odd how universal love, hope, despair, and anger are...they all have a basis in the same language. You see this through music. No matter if you're singing in English, French, Russian, or Danish, you can tell what the major emotion is. You can feel with the composer, the artist, the reaches across time, space and class systems. I love it and I am so glad to have it as a part of my life forever. I know that I joke that my masters is totally useless, but that isn't entirely true. If anything, I am fulfilled by it and the knowledge I have gained.

What else is next? I'm not sure....

My goal for the moment is not to call Sam...I'm letting him breathe...remember?

What is my New Year Resolution? I don't make resolutions. I generally find that I am not successful. What I do try to do is create a new habit, I make a goal. My goal for 2010 is to get better at my scripture studies. I was doing a killer job after I went through the temple, but life and time got away from me and in the last 6 months I haven't been as faithful about it as I should have been. Hence, my goal for 2010 is to read more scriptures.

Here's looking forward to 2010. Its time for a new start. Hopefully this year with bring in the spring season of my life. While I try to keep chipper and happy about things, for a while I've felt like I've been living in a constant winter. Its nice to see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows what will happen next. As we all know, my life is the most watched reality television show on the other side of the veil....God, the ever clever producer, is always finding ways to change things up and make me scramble for every ounce of pride I can save. I may have ups, I may have downs, I may fall apart, but I know that I have support and people who love me, and I know I am strong. No matter what 2010 brings, I know that I will come out swinging and win the day, even when it seems like I'm losing.

Hugs and loves till next year!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

An important public service announcement...

Dear inconsiderate holiday shoppers,

As someone who feels like they are "in the know" when it comes to shopping etiquette, I feel it my duty to give you some of the following information:

a) Here are some ways to tell that yes, you are indeed an inconsiderate holiday shopper. You may not think that you are. Denial is a big part of addictions and their related problems, but with this help, you may be able to find out that you are an inconsiderate shopper, and then you will be able to admit it. As we all know, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.

1) You try to enter a store 10 minutes before closing and have every intention of completing your mile long shopping list before the store closes.
2) You see a store employee vigorously working to beautify their area before the store closes and you feel the need to go through that area and mess it up all over again just to feed your rampant need to be talked about behind your back by that employee later.
3) You get to a table in one of the clothing departments full of folded goodies. It looks beautiful and shiny. The product is all the same cut and style, just different colors, but you still have the sick need to unfold 3 of the same size shirt in every color just to be sure...
4) You rip all of those said 3 of the same size of the same shirt in every different color from the bottom of the pile, making it necessary for the entire table to be refolded.
5) You take a jacket or shirt off the hanger to either try it on or hold it up in front of you, you feel the twisted need to hang the hanger the wrong way on the rack.
6) You like to hide things, in dark places...shove them in crevices with the hope that when you return they will be usually do not return, or if you do, you forget that you hid it, or where you hid it.
7)Instead of handing items that you have changed your mind about to the cashier at the front of the store, you leave them in a totally unrelated aisle, in an obvious and dangerous not enough room for the item on the shelf so you shove it in as hard as you can to make it fit, like a square peg in a round hole.
8)You can't navigate through the racks in the clothing departments the way you want to, so you shove them over, knocking half the items off the hangers, and pushing that rack into another rack, knocking half the items off that leave and act as if nothing has happened.
9) You are looking at items that an employee is obviously straightening up, you completely destroy part or all of their hard work and then you state the obvious, because you want to be known as Captain Obvious, by saying, "I just messed that up for you." and then you walk away...
10)You call a store at 3:00 in the afternoon to ask if there are any more of a hot ticket item in stock (yes, I am talking about Zhu Zhu hamster toys...) You get angry that either a) the store doesn't have any more when they were supposed to get some in that day or b) the store has some in but because it is a hot ticket item, the store must sell them on a first come, first serve basis and cannot hold them for you.

If you answered yes to any of these scenarios, then I am talking to you Mr./Ms. Inconsiderate Holiday shopper. In order to help you overcome this addiction, I feel its my need as a retail therapist (ie Target team member) to help you come up with ways to fight these scenarios so that you can help foster a happier outcome for those other shoppers around you, and the employees that have to clean up after you and your ilk (you sick twisted arrogant people you)...Many of the fixes are common sense, or so it would seem, but I will state the obvious for your benefit and the benefit of all those around you.

Fixes for the problems:
1) You enter the store 10 minutes before closing...think about this...chances are, the employees are trying to quickly get the place "spiffed up" for the next day. Remember these things, a) they can't leave until you do, when the lights go out, the store IS closed, it isn't your own personal shopping are NOT Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus, or any other celebrity that stores either stay open for or open early for. I know this must be difficult for you to take and understand, but you are just Jane/Joe is your job to listen to the prompts and leave the store, not stay in the aisle or section you are in bound and determined to find either a size that doesn't exist (yes, I'm talking to you Clearance Rack Shopper) or an item that you have been told 3 times by employees is not in stock and will not be until a new truck comes in. As you walk in the store and you are hearing the 10 minute announcement...look at your mile long list...what is most important? NO- NOT ALL OF IT! Much of it can wait until the next day if you really think about is it worth it to rush yourself and possibly make some purchases you will regret the next morning because you are being so hasty? Is it worth it to anger every employee who has been there since 3 or 4 in the afternoon (some for longer) and mess up areas that they thought that they had cleaned and wouldn't have to fix again? The answer to both these questions is NO. Do you need milk? Fine, go get your milk, your kids will probably need it for cereal in the morning. Are you finally going to get that blouse you liked on a previous visit for a hot date with your husband? Fine, you've probably already tried it on, or you know what size you'll need, go pick it up....but under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you feel that you have the time to browse. The store is closing, the employees are tired and probably grumpy, even if they do have smiles plastered on their faces, they are just trying to keep their jobs and keep you happy. Think about it...your mile long list will be better served when you have more time to look around for comparable items that perhaps are cheaper or to price match the next day. You don't need $600 worth of clothes and toys right away...think about you. You'll thank me for it later.

2)You see the lone employee in one area of the store vigorously working to clean up the racks or aisles of the store, it closes in 10 minutes...this goes back to #1...I will remind you that now is NOT the time to browse. You don't need to see those shirts on the don't need to pull them out and off hangers to check don't need to pick up a toy that is boxed, change your mind and put it back on the wrong shelf because its more convenient. Now is the time to shop about things that you are sure you want to get and need...fight the urge...just walk away and keep that employee happy and the area beautiful.

3, 4)Ahhh the mystery that is the folded shirt...Now I understand you want to look at cut and style. Fine, it may be the wrong size, but pick up that XS or S on the top of the pile, open it and take a look. Now, if you find you fancy that cut and style and you want to buy one...fantastic, you are so smart and wonderful, look at you go...but avoid that urge, that tick to open 7 shirts in the size you need. Also, as you take the shirts out of the pile, think about takes so much more effort to rip a shirt from the bottom...why not try this: pick up the pile of shirts on top of the one you intend to purchase nicely and then grab your shirt from underneath, then put the shirts you just picked back up on top of the a shirt worth ripping a tricep for? Think about it, that hard shaking motion you use that inevitably ends in disaster (ie the destruction of the beautiful folding job of all the shirts on top) can be dangerous and painful if you take it a step too far. Save you arms. Now, here we have another've decided you don't want that shirt...well if you were careful in how you grabbed it you haven't unfolded it. Don't worry about resizing it, an employee will happily do that later...simply place it neatly back on the top of the pile you so carefully moved before. If by chance you have unfolded can fold it however you fold a shirt at home as you do laundry and do the same, place it on the top of the pile. Its much easier to refold shirts that are still somewhat in order than it is to refold chaos...think about that poor employee on the closing crew, or there during the day. Yes, it is their job to clean up after you, but think about how much more they can do for you and how much happier they will be to help you if you have been considerate...they will have time to do other things that are important in the store...possibly other things that don't get done that annoy you...well guess why they don't get done? That's right, because YOU are an inconsiderate holiday shopper.

5) You see it...the jacket or shirt you've been eyeing all week. You finally decide to take the plunge and try it on...or to pull it off the hanger and hold it up to yourself to check color and cut. Wonderful, I am soooo soooo happy for you. Now, as you take that coat or shirt off the rack, pay attention. How is EVERY OTHER coat or shirt of that exact same style hanging? Chances are, that is the way the store policy dictates for them to hang. Why not try a) actually putting it back on the hanger instead of draping it over the rack after you're done and b) putting it back on the hanger the way that ALL THE OTHER coats and shirts are don't even have to zip it back up...just put it back on the hanger the correct way and hang the hanger up in the same direction as all the other hangers. If part of the coat happens to fall off the hanger, if an arm of a shirt comes off, that is much easier to fix for that poor employee later on than physically having to remove the garment from the rack, switch the hanger and then put it back in size order....If you don't care about the employees, think about your fellow shoppers, they deserve to behold the beauty you found. Why cheat the store you love out of paying customers because you can't take the 2.2 seconds to hang something back up...

6) Just don't try to hide things...I promise, it doesn't work, and at the end of the night, nothing makes that poor closing employee more grumpy than finding something shoved into a dark crevice (yes, if its a good store they are told to check everywhere... )and if they find something they have to move it back to where it belongs. Chances are that even if you do remember and come back to the spot where you believed you had cleverly hidden something, it won't be there. If you can't buy it that day, what makes you believe you'll be able to buy it the next day? Be honest with yourself...fight the urge to be a hoarder, it never ends well...and think, it could be the window to other hoarding do not want to be the crazy cat lady/man on your street do you? The crazy cat lady/man on the news who is crying because the police are removing animals from your home...I'm just saying, hoarding something in a store is the first step in a dangerous scary slope that you don't want to travel down my friend. Fight the urge...if you can afford it the next day, chances are it will still be there, or you will be able to get a rain check, so why worry?

7)Soooo, you've changed your mind about that ear and nose hair trimmer for uncle Bob? Okay, no problem. Its not a crime, people change their minds all the time. Repeat this affirmation to yourself: "I will not feel guilty handing the cashier the things I don't want." Say this to yourself 15 times before every shopping trip. The cashiers have special bins at their registers in which they can store the goodies that you have decided you don't want. They will be all too happy to take them from you, and then, later on, someone will make sure they get back to the correct place. Its sooo much easier for the poor employee who normally would have to pry the item out of the incorrect spot. Remember how we talked about the employee having more time to do things in the store is beneficial for you? Yeah, just don't do it. Don't leave it in Timbuktu or cram it on that shelf where it obviously doesn't be the easier thing for you and the employees...leave it at the front with the cashier. Think about this, you exert a lot less energy handing the item to the cashier than you do cramming it where it doesn't be long...I'm only thinking about you...honestly...

8)99.9% of the time the racks in the clothing department are set up so that you can get a cart through...why not conform...I know, you want to go perpendicular and the store wants you to move horizontally...I'm sooo sorry for you. But think about all the energy you waste pushing the rack with your cart so you can get to where you want to go....In the unlikely occurrence that the racks are not wide enough apart for you to get your cart through and you do happen to accidentely knock off items...chances are there is an employee nearby, if you don't have time to clean up the mess, why not be a decent human being and actually notify someone that it is there. Think about the other shoppers. What if Jenny Jones was coming to the store particularly for the item that you just knocked off the rack in that size...what if one of your ilk comes along, an inconsiderate shopper who isn't aware of their problem? You know they are going to roll over the clothes as opposed to picking them up or choosing a different path around. How is that fair? Deny your urge to be an inconsiderate creep, either pick it up yourself or grab that employee folding shirts across the aisle, explain you're in a hurry. They will happily oblige to clean up after you since they have so much more time now that you aren't being inconsiderate in other ways...

9)Alright...I know we all want to be a super hero...but Captain Obvious shouldn't exactly be your dream personna...If you see that employee folding shirts, or straightening boxes its okay to go pick something up. Perhaps start a little small talk with them, ask a question about the product, then if you mess up their area, you can nonchalantly either walk away, or apologize for the mess. They will be much happier to clean up after you if they are aware that you feel guilty for messing it up...even if you don't feel guilty...fake it...I'm sure you can muster some fake guilt from somewhere in your psyche...I'm just saying. Don't be Captain Obvious and walk away...that employee WILL complain about you later...what if that employee is a witch...are you really prepared for the hex that could come your way? I'm just saying, you may want to be careful.

10)I understand that you want to make your child's Christmas wish a reality. I feel your pain. I have nieces and nephews myself. I also understand the frustration that comes along with a hot ticket item that seems to fly on the shelf as fast as the store puts them on. However, be you really think that at 3 in the afternoon some of that hot ticket item will still be there? That through some magic twist of fate that hot ticket item will no longer be a hot ticket item? Hate to sound like a Magic 8 Ball here, but all signs point to NO...why not call at 8 AM right after you get your little one off to school, you can keep the secrecy element and possibly find that some did come on the truck. You might be one of the lucky few who happens to be the first in the phrase "first come first served"....Now...for those of you looking for the lofty Zhu Zhu hamster...its basically a cat toy that they have turned into a kids stuffed could possibly buy that cat toy and take it out of the package and set it up with the Zhu Zhu accessories Christmas morning...think about crafty...or here is a novel idea...Why not buy the kids some responsibility and get them an ACTUAL me crazy, but I would think it would be a lot more fun to have the living breathing animal that can react and learn tricks than a doll that just sits there... If you don't want a hamster, if you think they are mean...why not get a rat? If you don't buy 2 rats, a single rat is actually a terrific pet who craves your attention because they have a need for social interaction. It is having buddies that makes them mean and prone to bite because they are having their need for affection and companionship fulfilled by their cage buddy...for real...a fake hamster or a real hamster? I'd take the real one any day of the week.

Okay...I know its difficult. I know that you have just realized that you are an inconsiderate shopper...I know that you might need to take things in baby steps...however, now that you are aware of your problem, now that I have given you ways to overcome your sick and twisted addiction to being is my hope that you will follow through and try to fight your urges. Perhaps you can start a support group for you and your ilk...Inconsiderate Shoppers Anonymous...just do something so that hopefully the rest of this holiday shopping season can be happy for everyone.

Hugs and loves until next time! Britt

Monday, November 30, 2009

Danger! Danger Will Robinson!


So, I'll admit convinced me to try a membership to an LDS dating website for a month... I have a few friends and even some family members who have met their significant other online, and I've always been very curious to see if it would work.

At this point, let's just say that I am glad I haven't paid for more than a month. I have met a lot of guys, chatted and had some interesting conversation, but my recent dates with two gentlemen I met through the website have made me question if I even belong in the dating world at all...LOL...

So, let me tell you the stories and then you can tell me how THEY find me...

Date # 1:

Let me preface this by saying I knew in advance that I wasn't physically attracted to this person at all, but I figured, "Hmmmm maybe I'm just being picky." I decided he deserved a chance, he seemed perfectly normal and very kind. He was coming home for Thanksgiving from Tennessee where he works and "opportunity is not a lengthy visitor" (bonus points if you can name the musical...LOL)

So, the date started out...he still seemed perfectly nice so I was excited to think that if anything I would have a pleasant evening with a new friend. However, there were no "sparks" flying. I just wasn't feeling it. As the evening progressed, I began to feel bad, because while I wasn't feeling it, he obviously was. He was asking very deep personal questions, questions that I didn't feel were appropriate for a first date, but I figured I would answer them because atleast it would keep the conversation going.

We went to Sol Rio for dinner...I told him that the only reason you go to Sol Rio is their pork...he ordered the chicken...and then proceeded to complain about his dinner the whole time...

We went to a movie. I was sending very clear signals with my body language that there would be no snuggling or holding hands, or atleast I thought I was clear. He literally pulled my hands apart and put my hand in his, he then proceeded to put his arm around me, pull me head into his chest and say "You know, you don't have to sit so far away." I didn't know what to do...I sat up and said that my neck was hurting. Then, in the middle of the movie he leans over and says "Give me a back rub." I was very confused....the boy had arms and hands like an octopus and I couldn't keep up and keep him away...

At the end of the evening we were driving back to my parent's apartment and he said, "So, do you kiss on the first date?" I very quickly and firmly answered (almost shouting) "NO!" He then proceeded to ask me to justify why I wouldn't kiss on the first date (ie kiss him) The nerve! As we stood at the doorstep to say goodnight he then asked me to DTR (that means Define the Relationship for those of you who have been out of the dating game for a while) I was flabbergasted....I very politely told him that I didn't know him well enough to say that I would be his girlfriend and that I wasn't interested in trying to do the long distance thing...he left dejected, I left confused and a little disgusted...

Date #2:

Okay, I didn't think things could get any worse. This other guy refused to show me a picture or tell me what he did for a living while we were conversing online, he said he wanted to discuss it in person...Should have been my first warning.

We seemed to have a lot in common, so I was willing to give him a chance. He invited me out for a Sunday afternoon drive. I thought, okay...but considering my first experience with a guy from this website on Friday I was half tempted to call my parents or Sheena and tell them what kind of car he drove, what color it was, and what I was wearing just in case....

So, Sunday rolls around, and I am having a very good hair day...I don't often consider myself "hot" but on Sunday I looked smokin'! I was very happy with my overall look and I thought, well if this guy is worth it I know he will be pleased with me in person as opposed to me the picture...

Yeah...he pulls up in a black BMW with tinted windows and windshield (supposedly illegal in the state of ID, but no one seemed to be stopping him) I opened the car door and I was very disappointed...VERY MUCH NOT MY TYPE...but I'd agreed to go with him, so instead of making an excuse to not go like my instincts told me to, I get in the car, smile, and try to be polite. He kept touching me, he kept punching my arm and tickling my leg, and all the while I sat there like an idiot smiling. We began to discuss our families and family dynamics and where we fit in...

and then...something happened that I never thought I would experience in my life....

Call me crazy, but you don't tell a girl you were molested as a child on the first date...NO JOKE...I kept trying to change the subject, but he just kept going...DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!!!!!

I wanted to ask him to slow down to 35, that way I could tuck and roll and then I could hopefully use my phone to call for a ride. To make matters worse, we just kept driving, I didn't know where we were going. As we got off the freeway to go to Ashton, I realized he was trying to take me to Mesa Falls....I knew it wouldn't be a good idea, but since I knew I was in the car with captain crazy, I decided not to question his juedgement. As we made our way up the winding mountain road, the snow got worse and worse. Finally, we passed a sign that said "Road not maintained past this point" I guess I looked visibly nervous because he said "Are you alright?" I wanted to shout "No, I'm in the car with a psycho who won't stop touching me and wants to tell me his life story,and to top it all off you're going to get us stuck!" But, my social filter got the best of me and I said, "I'm just a little concerned about the road conditions. We're not exactly in a truck with 4 wheel drive." He laughed and patted the dash and said,"This car can make it through anything, its BMW." Thank you captain obvious...

We slowly made our way up the unmaintained road and found the turn off to get to the lower falls, it was completely snowed in (so surprising, right?) My date began to turn the car around, and we started to spin out...that's right we got stuck! I was stuck with super freak for 45 minutes before anyone else came along to help... HELLO AWKWARD PREGNANT TURTLE MOMENT!

As we made our way down the road, he laughed and said, "I guess you were right, but I'm glad you're a good sport about it." I politely laughed and looked out the window...the more time I spent with him the more I wished I had the number for a good plastic surgeon, a doctor who could either give him a new face because perhaps that would make me less nervous because the longer I spent with him the more creepy he became, or give me a new face so I could go into hiding...I wasn't sure which I preferred.

As we turned out onto the freeway, he mentioned going back to his place to watch a movie. I politely smiled and said, "You know, I had to work really late last night, and I have to work late again tonight, I really just want to get home and take a nap." He dejectedly agreed to take me was the longest drive I've been on in a very long time. He kept remarking that I looked uncomfortable...I guess my acting skills were off, but I didn't care, I was practically crawling up the side of the car...and he kept reaching over and tickling my thigh and laughing....I just tried to keep the conversation going and focus on something else.

So, he wouldn't stop texting me after the date, and he wrote me a very long message afterwards as well...I didn't read it all. All I saw was him asking if I thought he was attractive or do you tell someone that they strongly resemble a person with Downsyndrome (not that I'm prejudice, but that is seriously what he reminded me of)? I wrote back and very politely told him that I didn't feel a spark and I didn't see us being more than friends, and wished him luck with his future endeavors...I left out the part that he creeped me out and I failed to tell him that for future reference, he probably shouldn't mention his colorful family past until he is in a committed relationship...I thought that perhaps it would just be best to let him continue on his socially awkward path rather than burst his bubble...

Later that night at work, my team lead Amanda and I were commiserating. I guess she had her own brush with internet dating on E Harmony...her experiences were colorful as well...we then decided that if we were only going to attract superfreaks, we should come up with ways to get out of the are a few of the lines we came up with:

1) "How well versed in the Idaho Child Support laws are you? I know quite a bit..."

2)" I have 5 baby daddies already, are you interested in becoming # 6?"

3) "Hey do you remember those unsolved murders last year?...yeah, so do I..."

4) put your ear to your watch and start talking to it, To watch: "Yes sir, loud and clear" To him" "I'm sorry, we'll have to cut this short, they need me back at the base."

5) Put a square of chocolate and a square of chocolate flavored ex lax in a zip lock bag, then say "If you want me to take a risk on you, you can go ahead and take a risk too, choose your poison..."

6) Carry around a fold out of pictures of cats...pull it out, "This is Mister Snugglepuff, and he's looking for a new daddy...yessss heee issss..."

7) At dinner, spill something on yourself, crawl out the bathroom window and call for a ride.

8) "My ex boyfriend still gets a little jealous...he used to be a cage fighter. Let's just say I don't get on many second dates. But don't worry, my last date was only in the hospital overnight."

9) *and my personal favorite* "You know that show Ghost Whisperer show? Yeah, I can do that..."

10) "So, I thought I should let you know...I was involved in a hit and run accident a few weeks ago, the cops found me do you feel about prison orange as a wedding color?"

This list could go on...Amanda and I were at it for about 5 hours...lets just say we both left with a headache from laughing so much...

But seriously...HOW DO THEY FIND ME? Where is the giant neon sign above my head that says, "Only jerks and superfreaks need apply?" and how do I turn it off?

Needless to say, I don't believe I will be renewing my membership after this month is over. I will leave online dating to the superfreaks, if I am going to date someone,I'll do it the normal way.... Thank you very much!

Hugs and loves until next time...


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ain't we got fun!

Well, well, well,

Life and time march on and here I find myself stressed (just a little) but I trudge ahead, as usual...I find myself thinking only a few things today...

1) Here is my one letter of complaint for the week...

Dear God,

I am only writing because I have one small question. Where are the hot and cold faucets located on a man. I only ask because I believe the cold faucet on mine is leaking, and I'd like to fix the fixture, or completely remove it all together....okay I guess I have 2 questions, why does the cold faucet even exist?

Much love,

2) I hope scales don't lie....because if this one is lying its a sick see, according to the scale I am 1 pound away from my goal weight (insert cheering and general rejoicing here) If it is lying, then I will feel completely discombobulated, I've been working really hard, and it seemed for a while as if I had nothing to show for it, but lately as the number has gone down, my confidence and energy has increased...please scale, don't lie....that is just too cruel and unusual.

Life seems to be alright, I'm stressed, like I said earlier...between a boyfriend who isn't sure he wants to be a boyfriend right now, accidentely going into overdraft at my bank in Missoula (I made a mistake and forgot to change accounts when I was paying a bill and by the time I realized it, the payment was already pending...oh well, what do you do but pay the fees and move on, right?) and also the ISU admissions office apparent lack of genius (they've had my app for over a month, cashed the check-which I shouldn't have had to write anyway- and received my transcripts- apparently, in spite of all this somehow I slipped through the cracks and they hadn't reviewed my app yet...hmmmm.... not to toot my horn here, but I'm kind of a sure thing.) but, in spite of everything, I am happier than I have been in a long time. Moving home was the right decision. I needed my family, and they needed me.

I find myself gaining faith out of the funniest things. I have been reading NieNei's blog lately, I still need to get around to bookmarking it for everyone. If you go to my sister Amber's blog (Wray Family on the left) she has a link to it. Nei Nei is this incredible woman named Stephanie Nielson. She was in a plane crash and suffered burns over the majority of her body (I believe 90%) She is this amazing person who overcomes so much every day. She definitely gives a wake up call as you read what she goes through on a daily basis. In spite of everything, her blogs are always filled with hope. I used to have that, and I think I'm getting it back. She challenges me to make sure that I get it back. I think, if she can endure all that she does, I definitely can go through anything.

Think about it, if God has enough grace and power to help a woman who felt like she was average and ordinary become extraordinary in spite of desperate and seemingly bleak circumstances... to help her to be happy and complete in spite of constant pain, imagine what he can do for someone with faith in him who has completely smaller problems in comparison.

I am greatful for my trials...its so weird to say that. You can see that they were designed for me. They are unique, only I have the knowledge and particular faith to handle them and grow. I hope that I can grow into the woman that God wants me to be...that I can grow into the person that I was before my life on this earth...I have decided to make it my mission to remember who I was before I came here and then grow from that...because before we came here, we were all extraordinary, we were all unique, God loved each and every one of us as individuals for our individual strengths. He sent us to the time and place where he knew this earth would need us the most.

Don't forget, try to remember! Remember not who you are...but who you were! You still possess that same spirit that was your being in the pre-existence. You lived a life before you came here, you developed unique and special abilities, and God needs you to use them. Look up from the darkness, don't let life's little obstacles bring you down- don't fall into the pit of misery and endless woe.

Helaman 5:12- And now my sons remember, remember (he says it twice, must be important) that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the son of God that ye must build your foundation. That when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwinds he shall have NO POWER over you to drag you down into the pit of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built. Which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

God's true gospel is back on the earth, it has been for more than 100 years, we know he still speaks to us in our day, we know that through the power of personal revelation he can and will continue to help, aid and inspire us every day no matter what. Let us always remember who we were- children of God, who we are- children of God- we have endless potential, we can make it through ANYTHING....we have been given a support system, a family- and even if that family isn't traditional, even if it doesn't consist of parents, brothers and sisters, or children- even if it isn't a family of blood relations, God makes sure that we have people in our lives to help and support us. He loves us, he wants us to be happy in spite of everything. See the blessings of every little day, there are so many!

Live, laugh and love- Love is the most important of with your whole heart, love in spite of weakness, love in spite of bad choices, love without ulterior because we had a Savior, a brother, a Redeemer, who loved us and everyone regardless of our like the Savior loved without judgement.

Hugs and MUCH LOVE until next time.


Friday, November 6, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me! can complain all you want, I know its been a while. I've been very very busy in the last few weeks. Between moving back to Idaho Falls, the job hunt, my older sister almost buying the farm and life....let's just say things have gotten a little hectic.

I've had a fun few weeks though, don't get me wrong. Today, however, I am going to tell you about my birthday....

On October 24 I graced the world stage with my can all take a few moments to thank God now...I won't mind....go ahead...


For the first time in many many years I was actually home and able to hang with my family for my birthday. They did a good job trying to make me feel special.

I'd been having a difficult time with turning 26...I don't know why, I guess I was so focused on all the things that I hadn't accomplished that I forgot to see all the things that I had. I finally came to some awesome conclusions....but that is for another blog.

My family took me to Craigos for a pizza lunch, my friend, and my sister's friend Ashley was there with her family. It was so fun to hang with them. Ashley gave me a beautiful figurine....I had been wondering if I would find any chachkies to put on my shelves in my room...and she totally delivered! Thanks Ash...I really do love it!

After lunch, my mom, my step-dad, my sister and my nieces all accompanied me to the mall for a haircut courtesy of them and the amazing Molly...none of you have had a haircut until you've seen Molly, she is pretty much amazing.

After the haircut it was to the apartment complex clubhouse for cheesecake (my fave, next to German Chocolate Cake, but mom can't eat it because of the coconut, and I wanted everyone to be able to enjoy) and my birthday present. My whole family chipped in and got me a pink guitar! I've had so much fun trying to learn how to play it. I've learned alot for only having had it a few weeks, but unfortunately, one of the strings broke and I've been back and forth about sending it back because I can't get the string to tune or taking it somewhere to see if they can fix it...I need to make a decision about that pretty quick don't I?

All in all, it was a beautiful day (even if it was cold and rainy outside) and I loved that I got to spend it with my family.

I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. People I can depend on, people that love me no matter how crazy I am or how bad my jokes are...LOL

I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have been given to be linked to them for forever. I am so fortunate to have been born into a family where we have the fully restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so fortunate to have the knowledge that I have and the opportunities I have been blessed with.

Life may be hard at times, but there is so much fun and good between the hard times, I think if we all focused on the good things, no matter how small we will see how amazing our circumstances really are.

Here are a few things that made me smile recently:

1) Teaching Raylee to say "You got it dude!" ala Michelle Tanner from Full House....I promise, its adorable!
2) Raylee wrapping her arms around me and saying "I wuv you Aunt B."
3) Addie smiling and crossing her eyes at me....too cute!
4) Getting Macee ready for the Wray Family Halloween party...Amber walks in the bathroom and says "Brittany! She's five, not fifteen."....I just laughed....
5) Talking Harry Potter with Austin...he may only be 7, but he is definitely dialed in.
6) Finding a new catch phrase/annoyance for Kiersten when she has a new pregnancy ailment...."I love your life, its like an episode of 'I didn't know I was Pregnant' except you know you're pregnant." She laughs, and then she hits me....its a love/hate relationship.
7)Andrew.....for those of you in the know, you know what I mean, for those of you that don't...let's just say, I don't kiss and tell...
8) Watching musicals with my parents and listening to my step-dad sing along...he never used to sing along, he must be getting soft in his old age.
9) Catching up on Ghost Whisperer with Amber, its so nice to share the love....
10) Strumming my guitar randomly in A major while Raylee danced around...I was hysterical and entertaining!

Take some time and focus on your little reasons to smile, you see God's blessings in every one!

Hugs and loves until next time!

Monday, September 28, 2009

More Biiiiiiiiig Changes!

Okie life in its ever craazzzy way of twisting and turning has made a new decision for me....

So, in all of my researchin' I have found that a nursing degree is probably not the best option. In spite of my previous 7 years of college I would need to tack on an extra 4-5 years!!! After much praying and soul searching, I have decided that this is not the best idea. Too much more in student loans and too much more time. I need to be out in the work force like I tried something else....

I decided on a whim to get in touch with my connections at Idaho State to see, just to see, about getting my music education credentials and how long it would was like opening Pandora's Box...all of a sudden I was sucked in and things started working out left and right. The Lord has a funny way of showing us exactly what we need. I knew I'd felt right about going back to school, but all the obstacles I was facing were making me doubt it, and then, when I made the decision to try to get my music ed degree it seemed like a weight was gone and everything could be lifted, move and work.

So...I will return to the hallowed halls of my alma mater to, in essence, finish what I've started in January. This brings a new list of things to do, but they aren't too major. I have to re-audition for voice lessons- a little difficult considering we re-fached me at the end of my Master's degree experience (just my luck, I spent 3 years as a coloratura and then I'm told that I am a lyric....totally different repertoire, totally different use of the voice mechanism in the head register....I definitely need some more lessons, fah shizzle...) but I will manage. They love me, and all should be well. I also have to meet with the people in the education department to determine if I am going to try to be on the fast track for the ed department or if I will take the ed classes in a normal course...I'm thinking fast track, but we will see what they recommend.

I'm moving back in with my, some of you might be having a WTF moment...I will say this: I love living with my parents. I love feeling needed and I love being around my family. I think spending all this time away from them has made me appreciate them even more. I am so blessed to have the family and parents that I have. They all work so hard to help me because they know I will do the same for them. Its a good time.

So, life is back on track. I was feeling pretty lost in Missoula. I loved my friends there, but it just felt like I was missing something or that something was off. The minute I got back to Idaho Falls those feelings went away. I have a new focus and I'm feeling ready for the next season of my life. I have my wish list, and I hope Heavenly Father is nice enough to bless me with the things that are on it, but I think with the track that I'm on, I will be good even if I don't get them.

Hooray for change!

Hugs and Loves until next time!

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Hello Idaho Falls, I will be returning to your hallowed shores next Thursday....this time for good! I can't wait! I'm at work so this has to be a quick one...: P

Hugs and Loves!

Thursday, September 3, 2009


Okay...I know its been a while since I've written. Life has been super duper crazy. I have, however, made some huge decisions that are going to alter the course a little bit... I don't necessarily feel that I ascribe to any political party, so not "staying the course" leans me a little bit more towards the democratic side, but sometimes you just need to change (I'm sorry,that was a horrible joke, I'm tired...)



I've been involved in a Cabaret show for the last week and a half and I am EXHAUSTED! I've had so much going on between late night rehearsals and work that I haven't had a moment for myself. I know the costume isn't as modest as I'd like it to be, but the director was pretty hard lined about what he wanted from everyone costume wise...I quickly go to the bathroom at intermission and put on my G top because I was able to work out a deal so I could have a jacket in the second act...yeah...I'm not so sure I'm going to do another show...
As far as the big changes are concerned....wait for it....
I'm going to go back to school....
To do what? A doctorate? Get my Music Ed stuff? WROOOONG! Thanks for playing,
I'm actually planning on trying to get into nursing school. I will have to do a semester of prerequisites before I apply to any nursing program, so right now I am just working on getting into a school that is close to home (I miss Idaho!) and then after I've done the prerequisites I will take it from there.
Missoula is nice, and I've learned a lot about myself, the world, and life here, but I think its time to move on. Lately, I find that my heart has been more drawn to home and family and I also have been reviewing my finances and finding that perhaps going back to school would be in my best interest as far as job security is concerned. I am super excited to go back to something that I've always been interested in and loved. I think learning about the human body and how to help treat the sick and afflicted is going to be one of the most awesome and humbling experiences I will have in my life to date and I am eager to take on the challenge.
I applied to Boise State, BYU-Idaho and I am looking into the ISU outreaches in Meridian and Idaho Falls. In either place, I will be able to live with family and be close to the things that most important to me and that makes me super excited too!
Well, I'm off! I have other things to do and places to go! I'll catch you on the flipside!
Hugs and Loves until next time!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Blackberry Blues...


My cell phone decided to go to touch screen heaven...I'm a little peturbed, and going crazy. Its true, once you buy a Blackberry, it becomes a CRACKberry! I feel like half of me is missing, its just so convenient to have everything at my fingertips....

Let's not even talk about the fact that about 3/4 of my friends ONLY communicate via text message and guess what I need so that I can text them or even access the text message inbox...thats right....a FUNCTIONING touch screen...

I'm apparently without my phone until tomorrow, but I think that is being optimistic...Verizon says I'll have my new phone tomorrow, I think its more likely that I'll have it next week sometime...Uggggghhhhh...

In the meantime, for those of you who actually do have my number....I can receive calls still on my broken Bl(Cr)ackberry, and I can call out using voice I guess I'm not completely unable to communicate, I just can't communicate the way most of you want me to.

Hugs and Loves until next time!


Friday, August 7, 2009

A Brief Happy Note


I've been really sad that my performance opportunities are going to be a lot more rare now that I am out of school...but, would you believe it? Aneta (my old office mate) and I have been commiserating and have decided to work on a collaborative recital. I am very excited about the prospects! We have decided to do a lecture recital on Les Six- a group of Six French composers that lived at the turn of the century and composed together. Most interestingly, their performances included displays of art by French artists like Monet. I think it will be awesome do to the research and find some art to put together with the pieces we do in an awesome power point presentation. Its awesome to have something to look forward to again, since the opera I was supposed to be in was cancelled. Its so exciting to know that I will get to be on the stage again.

Just a quick note, because I am bursting with excitement about it!

Hugs and loves until next time!

Monday, August 3, 2009

I'm baaaaaack

Okay....its been a long while I know, but I have been in the midst of moving and with no internet. Since I am relying on the kindness of Safeway wi-fi and others to check my email...updates have been few and far between and I apologize...

There really isn't much to report though.

I am now working as a dental office manager/receptionist...its crazy, but I love it. Hopefully, since I'm sticking around Missoula, I will be able to add opera singer to my list of things that I do for a living since I've been told that they have plans for me. Unfortunately, the opera I had been cast in was cancelled due to lack of funding.

Right now I'm just chilling like a villain, and enjoying my new apartment and roommate. Life has been pretty usual. I have managed to make it to the temple every weekend for the last month, which has been nice. I love it there, and I recognize how blessed I am to make it there every week. It finally dawned on me the other day while I was picking a name to do an endowment session for how wonderful and important temple work is... we hear it all the time, but I definitely felt it and now have a newfound desire to make it there as much as possible to do the work for the saints who are waiting for the blessings of the temple!

No guy business to report...the dating pool in Missoula Montana is as dry as a bone....the YSA group has been doing some fun things, last week we went to a Missoula Osprey baseball game and cheered louder than anyone else in the stadium...I definitely decided that baseball is much more fun if you make up your own cheers and make sure you're hoarse by the end of the game...LOL! :)

My roomie Kimmie and I have been throwing tons of movie parties and have been busy bees decorating our adorable little two bedroom abode. I actually did the artwork for the bathroom. I did a colored pencil rendering of a picture that I took in Prague and I did some pastels of Prague and Berlin pictures from the same album. Kimmie actually gave me a watercolor lesson on Saturday (she is an artist, a watercolorist no less) and we decided I'm not actually half bad. I know, its disgusting right? I get to add artist to my never ending list of "really useful skills" LOL!

Well, I have to jet. Kimmie is texting and I need to head home for some reason...I'm sure it will be no big deal when I get there...but I have been at safeway for a while...

Hugs and loves until next time!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Playing Catch Up!

Wow...its been a while. Sorry about that. Life has been crazier than ever. It seems like I got back from Spring Break and life began a race to the finish line. The finish line being graduated....

Drum Roll Please (ratatatatatatatatatatata)

Ladies and gentleman....
I am officially...


You can all commence with the cheering, hooting, hollering and general exclamations of glee...go have my permission.
Saturday was a crazy long day...a day I hadn't intended to participate in...huh...go figure.

Originally, I had planned to go to my stake temple weekend and forego the commencement ceremony altogether. Honestly, after the marathon graduation I experienced with my undergrad degree, I felt like I had more than paid my dues. But, my voice teacher, Dr.Cody approached me in the office and asked if I would be willing to sing for graduation...I hung my head and weakly answered.."I was planning on going out of town" Dr.Cody got a little misty eyed and said "I was looking forward to taking pictures with you in the cap and gown and stuff...alright." He began to dejectedly walk away...and I of course felt guilty...I decided to walk and sing...if only to make Dr.Cody happy.

My family graciously decided to try to alter their plans, but by the time I had decided to walk, there were no hotels left (practically) Mom and Parker managed to snag a room and they came to witness the spectacle.

The Adams Center ceremony started at 2 in the afternoon. Mom, Parker and I were in the process of moving stuff. I had to haul some keester to get ready so I could be in the Oval to line up by 1, but I made it (with the help of mom and Parker who drove me to the University so they could find a parking spot.) Mom's hips were really hurting her, she seems to be having more bad days of late, I spent the morning praying she'd make it through the day. She stayed in the car and Parker walked around campus with me and took some fun pictures (sans hood, I didn't think we were supposed to wear it yet)

I walked to the Oval and lined up with my fellow Masters grads. They were all wearing their hoods, apparently for the Adams Center we were supposed to. A group of Education Masters whom I'd never met graciously helped me put it on and fix the back (thanks again guys!) I was the only music major standing in the group, I was lonely and confused (which tends to happen when I'm not with my own kind...) Then, Micah Dalbey came to save the day, followed shortly after by Amy Heard-Wokas and Tracy Davis. Ahhhh, the Graduation Bunch...(not all of us, but those that were walking in the Adams Center ceremony anyway) I call us the graduation bunch because it was comical to watch me try to assist everyone with hoods. We deserved our own sitcom for about 15 minutes, I swear. The Masters hoods were flying and contorted and everyone had an opinion (albeit wrong opinions...I was after all an expert, I'd learned how to put them on like 20 minutes earlier...geesh...)

We began the long march to the Adams Center, every time somebody shouted out at us "tassles on the left" I wanted to scream and slug them...we'd only heard that about 15 zillion times in the last 20 minutes, thanks so much for clarifying...

As expected, the Adams Center ceremony was dull dull dull...I was sitting in the front in the song leader chair, and although I'd come prepared with awesome wicked fun cell phone games, I felt self conscious pulling it out to play them as some lady droned on and on and on and then some guy droned on and on and on (seriously, why can't we get someone funny and cool to talk to us Like Jeff Dunham and his buddies Walter, Peanut, etc. Or Seth MacFarland, he spoke at Harvard's graduation a few years ago...HILARIOUS...check it out on Youtube)...the one part I was awake for was towards the beginning after I sang the National Anthem. The chief of the Shoshone Indian tribe gave the opening prayer in Shoshone and then he and some friends performed a few drum songs, one to celebrate society and one was their tribal flag song to celebrate the Native American students that were graduating that day. It was very cool.

Finally, it was time for me to sing the Alma Mater...funny story...they gave me the wrong song to learn for this particular point in graduation, and I had to sight read during my dress rehearsal. The Cornet I player was kind enough to give me his music and the coordinators dug up a program so I'd have the words...Hooray for solfegge...I was so terrified I'd mess up on the day, but I made it through...GO ME! Go band...hooray!

Two hours later (it was only supposed to be an hour and ten minutes...) I hauled some keester for a quick potty break and then ran to the PAR TV building to line up for the ceremony that was just for the School of Fine Arts. Hoods off, apparently we were to be hooded in this ceremony...and I have to say, I was completely excited to be involved in this ceremony. Dr. Cody teased my office mate Aneta who gratefully handed the power over to me when it came to leading the Music Masters Grads...we laughed. Then the head of the dance department, who had been honored as teacher of the year spoke to us. WE laughed the entire time. Then came the big moment. We all waited our turn to march across the stage and receive our "degrees" (which is in quotations because, as usual, you get the degree cover with a piece of paper inside that tells you how long it will be until they send the degree to you...haha) Hugs and kisses all around. And then came the fun many people can say that a dance troupe was hired and choreographed a special routine for their college graduation....NOT MANY...but I can. It was an interpretive dance, while I didn't get all of it, I did get a few things, and it was still really cool to watch. Thanks to Let's GO for putting together an awesome show.

And then, it was over. There was a reception with cookies and punch in the foyer...but since I hadn't eaten anything all day, I didn't want the headache that I would feel for eating all sugar...thanks to the wonder of modern medicine and a pill called Metformin, that is what happens to me now...

Mom, Parker and I went to dinner...that was about it...I think I covered the day! I hope you all weren't too bored.

now...Ahem...BOW DOWN TO THE MASTER!!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Pre Easter fun!

Well all...I know its been a little while. I've been on Spring Break...I think mother nature missed the memo because we got about 6 inches of snow this morning....the wet heavy kind that you make snowmen out that could be the silver lining, but I'd rather have warm weather. Oh well!

I kicked off Spring Break with a bang, getting diagnosed with Stage 1 Pneumonia the week before. Entirely my fault, between The Savior of the World production and school I was really over working myself to get things done before I left Missoula for a break....

I drove home with my codeine infused cough syrup and antibiotics for a little TLC, but didn't have much time to rest. Amber and Kelly went to SLC for a Jazz game and I had already agreed to watch their kids. Thank heavens that her kids are good for me and will pretty much do whatever I ask them to do when I ask them to do it, or it could have been a problem...I also was fortunate enough to have an awesome mother who was willing to help.

Aaron and Holly were in town for the weekend too. We all got to kiss and cuddle baby Kairi while she was here and the cousins all got to play with eachother. Its so fun when the whole family is around!

On Sunday the storms started roaming over our sleepy little valleys...but mom and dad persevered and went to Blackfoot to get Grandma Peterson to enjoy a pre-Easter dinner with the family. We figured we might as well celebrate since everyone was in town! Below is a slide show of the fun. We did an Easter Egg and Basket hunt with the kids. In spite of the snow, everyone had a blast and everyone enjoyed my Chicken Cordon Bleu with cream sauce...which I haven't made in forever. Needless to say, my pneumonia ridden lungs were about shot by the end of the weekend, but it was worth getting a little more sick over.

I love my family, I miss them when I'm away. It was nice to be together!

Click to play this Smilebox slideshow: Pre-Easter Celebration
Create your own slideshow - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox slideshow

Monday, March 23, 2009

Apples and Caramel I sit at the Institute, we have just finished FHE...I helped make caramel for dipping caramel apples. The recipe actually turned out really well...I was pleased with my efforts. Its always nice to help out my friends who are in charge of the activities like this. We're watching The Emperor's New Groove...I haven't seen this movie in forever, it seems so odd to me that I haven't seen it in 3 years and I can still quote it...This has to be one of the most clever Disney movies ever made...the jokes are genius...the only thing that would have made it better would have been if it was a musical....but then again, that is my one complaint with most movies. I sit...alone...a little disappointed that certain people didn't show up...and probably won't....happy to see the people that did show up...I am a twisting hurricane of emotions, especially with my lovely sinus infection...

Ahhhhh Kronk...he almost makes me forget that I feel like I am breathing through a tube...

Sorry, I know its a bit random, but as I watch this movie I have random thoughts and I feel like sharing them with someone, and since I'm sitting all understand...

everyone should go pull out a copy of the Emperor's New Groove, its the best movie ever...ahhhhh.... I'm rambling. Just ignore me. Maybe its the movie, maybe its the heaps and mounds of cold medicine I'm taking to clear my sinuses, at any rate. I won't make you sit through any more babble..

Peace out homies!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Can you Feel the Power??? I thought I should take this opportunity to blog a little bit and share my testimony with some of you. I have been struggling the last few days with a rapidly disappearing voice...this is usually no big deal, I usually forge ahead and hope that things come back to normal if I am careful...but this time there has been so much more at stake....

I am currently involved in performances of The Savior of the World...last night was opening night and I had absolutely no voice. I went to go pick up my friend Angela last night...we were halfway to the church and she said "Gee, you're quiet." A Baritone frog responded "Gee, I wonder why..." Angela's face got that funny oh boy, here we go look. She stared at me and asked "What are you going to do?" I shook my head and fought back tears, the baritone frog once again replied "I guess I'll have to ask for a blessing."

The rest of the car ride would have been silent, but I was fighting back tears and I needed I turned on some John Barrowman (he's my future husband, he just doesn't know it yet...all I have to do is go to London and turn him shouldn't be too hard, right?) Angela laughed as I lipsynched to her and did a little interpretive dance behind the wheel as I drove...( I seriously wonder what people think of me as they drive past...I don't do crazy things like that when I'm alone, but when I'm with Angela we tend to get a little nutty...I wonder if it makes people smile to see two girls dancing in the front seat of a 1990 Chrysler Dynasty, not caring if people can see it or not... hmmmm....)

We get to the church, I park and get out of my car. As we walk towards the cast entrance, Jenny Johnson's husband (Jenny is the stake activities chair, she put the entire show together) calls out to us from the window of his truck "How's the voice?" He knew I was losing it the night before during rehearsal...once again I fought back tears and gave him a thumbs down. This is really one of those situations when Heavenly Father makes sure that we have what we need. Through my steadily approaching tears, I grumbled, once again as a baritone frog "I think I need a blessing, and in a bad way." He smiled and said "Sweet, lets get that taken care of right away!"

I went into the church, changed into my costume and Brother Johnson and Brother Tarver came to find me. We stealthily snuck into the High Council room (if the director had seen us wandering the halls before the performance we would have been toast!) and those two amazing priesthood holding men laid their hands upon my head and exercised the power of God. I was crying the minute they laid their hands on my head. I knew that everything was going to be okay...and then, gradually...the baritone frog began to disappear, and right before I went onstage I felt almost normal...

I want to bear my testimony about the power of the priesthood...its REAL! I know that God has foreordained worthy men to hold this power and use it on the earth. I know that last night, without this power, I would have been embarrassed, humiliated, and sad that I wasn't able to do my best for the stake and for the people who had come to feel the spirit last night by watching depictions of the Savior's birth and resurrection. God is good, and he always makes sure that if we have the faith, we will be blessed with what we need to make it through. The priesthood helps. I know that through my faith and the worthiness and faith of those wonderful men last night, I was healed and I was able to go out and give a performance that the Savior himself would have been pleased to watch. I also know, that through continued faith in that healing blessing, I will be able to make it through the next 3 performances and that I will continue to get better.

When you're single, you forget how nice it is to have the priesthood readily available. I sometimes feel like a burden when I have to call and ask for a blessing, its not like it is at home at all. However, I know that worthy priesthood holders have been given a huge responsibility and part of that responsibility is answering the call of those in need. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father makes sure to place in my path people who are willing to answer the call when I need them. I am so lucky and fortunate to have the comfort of knowing that God will not leave me alone in my problems and that he will always make sure there is someone there to watch out for me.

I have one request...make sure to thank all the worthy priesthood holders in your lives. They give so much and carry a huge responsibility on their shoulders. We are so lucky to be blessed to have them in our lives. Give them a big hug and thank them for their continued worthiness and willingness to use that sacred power to effect our lives for good!

Hugs and Loves until Next time...Red Diva OUT

Sunday, February 8, 2009

True Love's Phrase

Okay...So I dabble in poetry every now and again. I normally keep it to myself in my journal because its very personal. However,I feel like I should share this one with my friends. I should give you a little background. I was sitting in Sunday School today (I'm in the Marriage and Family Relations Class...I know perfect for every single gal, right? LOL) and my Bishop and his wife were talking about true eternal love and intimacy...They asked us to think of a couple that we knew that exemplified eternal love. My mind immediately went to my grandparents. On July 11, 2007 I had the honor of being in the room as my grandpa was called home to our father in heaven, and I remembered that the only way we knew he was gone was because when my grandma pressed her lips to his, he no longer had the strength to kiss her back. I sat there, in my mind, awestruck by this thought. He must have been so weak, and he used every last bit of strength he had, to kiss my grandma whenever she would put her lips to his. It was on that day that I knew that this was the kind of love I wanted, a lasting love, where in the end, a simple gesture like a kiss was all that was needed to convey the many years of affection and gratitude for sharing in life's journey. As I was lost in this thought, Sister Piippo said a phrase that immediately got me into a poetic state of mind. I immediately started writing the poem in my head because of a few simple words that she said. Here it is...please be gentle...I don't share often:

Hollywood would have us believe
that love is expendable and fleeting.
But true love means so much more
with it comes a phrase that needs repeating:
not ahead,not behind,
but holding hands, side by side.
When you're young
and you meet your first sweet love
nothing can go wrong, the world is a song
but you notice as you walk life's path
that one walks ahead the other chases
wishing to be out of love and its races.
Because of this fact it doesn't last very long
but it teaches you to find forever.
You continue your journey along the path
wondering if you'll ever meet
that smile, that laugh
that person to make you feel complete.
Then one day,it happens!
You're awestruck they fit.
You decide to walk together a little bit.
But you notice they stand a bit behind
Afraid of their future and what they might find.
You bid them adieu and leave them alone
and continue your walk, your heart turning to stone.
What you seek for seems impossible to find
is it too much to ask for, this simple phrase?:
Not ahead
Not behind,
but holding hands,
side by side.
Then, out of the blue
you're suprised to see
waiting there all along
was your true friend and confidant
the thought of eternity without them just feels wrong.
You work and you walk through life's woes
always remembering
you need to be on your toes.
Don't fall behind, don't walk ahead
Just stay here by my side
Together we'll walk hand in hand
In our accomplishments together
we will take pride.
Years later, your children are grown
you've passed the worst of life's tests its true
then one day, the path meets a fork for one
you double take and realize its you.
You look to your partner for most of life's journey
and tears begin to fill your eyes as you say:
I have to go ahead,
I hate to leave you behind
but I'll see you again someday.
Your eyes close
You kiss their lips
You look your one last look and sigh
Your path takes you home
but you take comfort and know
that soon they'll be with you again by your side.
Life isn't chocolate and roses fair
its a test
its hardthis is true.
but find a companion
with love so rare
they'll keep walking the path with you.
As you fall in love and wait for covenants sweet
remember my dears
that a relationship can be only as good as the position of your feet.
Not ahead
Not behind
but holding hands
side by side.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Treacherous Tuesday

Alarm. I sit up in bed and look around. Last night was rough. Too many choices, not enough information to make a decision. I lay back down in bed and I think. I decide I'm thinking too much. I pull my feet out from under the covers. COLD! I hop back under the covers. Lay in bed a little longer, trying not to think...this just isn't working. Get out of bed, its not so cold now. I walk to the bathroom. Its occupied...I guess I don't get a shower this morning. I plug in my triple barreled curling iron and wait for it to warm up. I turn on my laptop...sad little thing, so scratched up, its only been a year. The fan is going out, I remind myself that I need to get that checked. My computer loads. I open an internet explorer and go to facebook. Not one is on...I leave facebook open in case someone decides to grace me with their presence and chat. I check my triple barrel...not so warm...not looking so promising for the hairstyle I had in mind...I continue to hope. I decide to look for a movie on Netflix and do my makeup. WOOT WOOT! Westside, I'd like to watch this movie. I listen to the movie and do makeup. Ahhhh Maria...the most beautiful sound (and song) I ever heard....Bernstein=GENIUS! Popping sound! TREVOR! Hooray! My day is complete...another popping sound! Sheena! Chat, do makeup, and enjoy the beauty of Bernstein...all in my pink pajamas...pop! David...the day gets better...he teases me for still being in pajamas...I decide to get dressed so that it stops. I look at the triple barrel better be warm...its not so much. I decide to attempt the impossible anyway. Hair=frizzy mess. Oh well, you can't blame a girl for trying. Trevor wants to go on a date for Single Awareness Weekend (Valentines for people dating someone) My heart skips a to find a time. I look at the clock. My eyes bug out of my time...I'm late. Say goodbye to Trevor, say goodbye to Sheena, say goodbye to Dave...POP! Its Brett! I feel bad, but have to say goodbye. I rush to the bus stop. The bus is running late...I really will be late now...$30 of money flying away from my sight...private lesson in jeopardy! Call mom to pass the time, no answer on cell or at Kiersten. Talk to Kiersten, get advice about making decisions...she is awesome. Get on the bus. Ride forever....seriously people, RUN RUN! Don't walk, the bus is already late! Who do you think you are? I have money to make! The bus pulls up to the music building. I run down the stairs to my office, I almost take out a cellist on the way...who carries their cello up the stairs at 11:35...seriously... ? I look down the heart student. I begin the walk of shame to my office. My heart skips a beat again, my student calls out my name. "Its okay, you were only 5 minutes late. I knew you would come." We walk in my office. Fill out paperwork and contracts. Pick new music. I kick her butt a little bit...she needs to work a little harder to get better sound. She leaves with a smile. I feel warm! Its always nice to have a student appreciate the hard work that you do with them and for them.

I have a 3o minute break. Just enough time to warm up. Warm up. Speed through 2 songs before my lesson. Notes and rhythms appear simple. I really like one song, I probably spent too much time working on it. Oh well. Go to Dr.Cody's office. Lesson time. I was right...too much time on one song, he really wants to hear the other. Shlugh through what I can. It goes alright. Sing the snot out of the other. Dr. Cody smiles. Hooray! I did a good job! Sight read through more stuff. A few jazz pieces. I'm excited. I haven't done jazz since high school and it sounds so much better than it did back then. Dr. Cody leaves. I talk to my accompanist about a competition coming up in 3 weeks. She says I should do it. Dr.Cody comes back with a Kurt Weill book. He says I should do the competition too, but not in the category I expected. OOooooookaaaayyyy. Sight read through Weill. I do a happy dance after "Hey there buddy from the Night Shift" Dr.Cody giggles, he tells me that I have to sing it for my recital now. Sight read through a Weill French Cabaret song. I love sprechstimme...I give him my puppy dog eyes...I can do them both! General rejoicing and another happy dance.

2 O'Clock...I need food, I'm starting to get dizzy...rush to my office to put things away. Food and into Myles. He comes with me to lunch. We spend too much time eating. No library...I guess I won't get any more music today...Rush to make copies of the other stuff for my accompanist...I get stopped by Anne and Dr.Cody, they ask about a student of mine, Anne isn't happy. We chat, I shed some light on the situation and head downstairs to meet Linda.I wait...she must be running late, maybe I would have had time to hit the library. She comes down the stairs. I hand her music. We go to my office and find a sacred practice time...forever and ever amen... I look at my late to go to the library. I grab my music and go to a practice room. Abduction from the Seraglio needs some work before rehearsal tomorrow. I love singing high...I don't love singing high and in my passagio...mental note, ask Anne about it in rehearsal tomorrow.

Look at clock. Almost late for Master Class. Rush upstairs...Why did I worry? Everyone is still sitting in the foyer waiting. I walk into the recital hall...someone has to take the first step...Like lemmings they follow me. I have to pee. I leave as they turn on the lights in the hall. I come back, everyone is inside and they are ready to begin. Announcments, no one is singing. Anne chastises us for not singing today. I feel truly bad...but nothing new is ready yet. I shrug it off. We talk about NATS, I'm excited. I hope everyone is listening to the plug. I think back to conversations with Brandi and Cameron who both said they aren't doing it...well I'm going to. Dr.Cody looks back at me when Anne mentions you can enter more than one category. I'll just stick to the musical theater one...I still think I'm half crazy for preparing music in 3 weeks, but I decide to stop thinking about it. Dr.James decides to get up and talk about bowing. I am asked to come demonstrate a head bow (in case your blouse is too low cut) I do so, with class...I also demonstrate a curtsey. Dr.James asks me to show everyone a side angle, I do it again. I laugh to myself...I feel like I'm back at ISU in Studio class with DLF, Ms.Lane and Dr.Anderson. We always spent the first day talking about bows, shoes, outfits and accompanists. I smile. I'm making a mark...even if it really isn't me that caused it...I still feel like I'm making my mark.

I look at my clock. I have a lesson to teach, they aren't done talking. Once again, I see $30 flying away from me. Huh, Tuesday seems like my private student day...go figure...They finish talking. Irush to the front and talk to Anne about a student that signed up for a lesson time. She tells me to tell them they are studying with David. I go to my office. My student is waiting like a trooper. We fill out more paperwork. We talk about music. We decide, well I decide, that she is singing in French. We sight sing through some Faure. She narrows it down to 2 pieces, then picks the first one we sang. We go make copies. Lesson over. I rush down to my office to get my stuff.

I wait for the bus...its late...again...I kick my feet into the slushy snow. I wish it was warmer, then I could go puddle jumping. I decide I miss being able to do random things like can't do many random things in the freezing cold. The bus arrives, my mom calls. We chat. I sit on the bus. I look down. My gorgeous Italian roommate is on the bus too, I don't think she saw me either. Mom and I finish talking. I decide this is the longest bus ride ever. I got on at 5:10, it is now 5:35...and there are still 3 stops between me and home. I sit and twiddle my thumbs. The bus arrives at Lewis and Clark. I get off. I call out to my roommate "MANUELA!" She stops, we laugh about not seeing each other. We walk. We get the mail. We enter the apartment and talk some more.

I throw a sweet potato in the microwave. I need dinner, and I have to leave for a meeting in 3o minutes. My other roommate is home, she is doing her makeup. "Hello Immanuela, why are you gettin' all dolled up?" She has rehearsal. She finishes... she leaves for rehearsal. I eat a baked sweet potato and artichoke hearts for dinner. I leave for my meeting. "Goodbye Manuela!"(she is the only one home) I start my car. I wonder where my iPod is...oh well...I get to the school and reprint my club's budget for next year...the president of music union lost the copy I already gave her...I laugh...oh well...I go to the meeting. Its short! HOORAY! I leave, and decide to go see the Bishop to get some advice.

We talk about boys for 45 minutes and family history for 20. I leave suprised that for once in my life I'm not in tears as I walk out the door. I hug the bishop and head out to my car. He gave me some good advice, plus I love hearing his stories. I think once again about my poor lost iPod and the possibility that I might have to buy a new one if I don't find it. Life is too boring without music. I come home. Manuela is in the living room watching cartoons, it helps her work on her English. We talk about my woes. She gives me the same advice that everyone has been giving me. I think then that it must be true. I laugh inside my head at myself as I walk back into my room to make a lesson plan.

I turn on my laptop. I turn on facebook. Clayton is on. Erica is on. We chat. I blog. Alex calls. I'm ready for bed...oh well...tonight should be interesting...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Macee's Birthday!

Well, well, Macee's birthday came and went without a hitch. Being Aunt B., I like to take on a few extra tasks to spoil the kids in special ways, and birthdays are no exception. I spent hours decorating a Strawberry Shortcake themed birthday cake, and ran back and forth between mom and Parker's apartment and the clubhouse with the various utensils necessary for the party. Tons of fun was had by all, especially the group of screaming kids ages 18 months to 6 years that were in attendance. Good food, good fun, and an unbreakable pinata...who could ask for anything more? Check the slideshow to see just how amazing it was...and this isn't even half of all the good stuff I have...hehehehe

Click to play Macee's Birthday Blowout
Create your own scrapbook - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Christmas 2008 Slideshow!

Alright...prepare to wet your pants with amazement...there is no charge for awesomeness or bodacity! Just click the link to enjoy my crazy family!

Click to play Family Christmas 2008!
Create your own slideshow - Powered by Smilebox
Make a Smilebox slideshow