Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The year in review

Well, as I look back at 2009, I have to say I have experienced some of the best and worst moments of my life. There are definitely decisions I've made that I'm not the proudest of, but then again, no one is perfect and mistakes were created so we could learn right? Here is a quick year in review:

Number of masters degrees earned: 1 (woot woot....even if it is totally worthless....LOL)

Number of times I've moved: 3 ( I know I could hardly believe it myself!)

Number of guitars acquired: 2- one for my birthday and a sweet, very expensive, Christmas present. Thanks mom and dad! (One day I will finally achieve my goal of becoming a one woman circus side show one woman band freak! I'm so close I can taste it now!)

Number of foiled romances: 5...that's almost one every 2 know, I complain that I don't date...I guess its just that things are either so fast or so long and drawn out that I always feel like I'm being disappointed. I guess that is a goal for something to change in 2010. Then again, I don't know if there is much I can do to change my sad, sorry state. I think I just need to accept that perhaps I will be old and alone, which won't be so bad....I could get a dog...a really really really big dog, and I could train him in German, that way when I yell commands like "sit" it will sound like I'm dangerous or something...LOL

Number of prospective successful/foiled romances: 1....the jury is still out. I've been dating him about a month now. He's starting to take some breathing room...or so it seems. He's started finding excuses not to spend time with me...which is fine. I have learned my lesson, I'll let him breathe....for a while...but I also won't allow myself to draw this one out. Foiled relationships and heartbreak I've found are like a just need to rip it off quick. It stings and hurts a lot at first but you find that you feel oddly relieved once its off. Side note- I really don't want to rip this band aid off, this one is definitely a keeper...not an egomaniac, not selfish, not a pervert... Perhaps I will tell you all about Sam one day, but I kind of want to keep this one private. I always blab about how happy I am only to have my heart broken the next day....true story! I kid you not! So I will share stories once he's done taking his breathing room.

Number of times I've been to the temple: I have to be honest, I haven't really counted this one. I was going once a week this summer, which is weird considering that the temple was 4 hours away. When I first got home to Idaho, I was going twice a week, but that has stopped since I got a job. I have plans to go next week, at least twice. I hope it works out. I miss it, I love it, and I need it!

Number of new family members: 1- little Brianna Louise Maguire was born on 12-26 at 8:36 PM to Kiersten and her husband Joe! She weighed in at a hefty 6 pounds. She is a tiny little baby doll looking thing and I can't get enough of her!

Number of pounds lost: 15....and all since I've been home from Missoula. Its amazing what being content can do for your waistline. I haven't really changed anything, I think that I finally just decided I was content with what I am and who I am and God smiled and said "Okay....prove it!" LOL

I'm sure there are far more things for me to review, and if I think of them, I will surely write them, but these are the biggies! ( or atleast the things that are the most fresh in my cerebral cortex)

SO what is next right?

Well, my friends, I will start school again on January 11 at Idaho State University. In two more years I will have my teaching credentials and a slightly more useful degree...LOL...I can't wait to be a tyrant, I can't wait to build my own musical out world...they are going to give me the power to rule the youth of America! Who knows what I could do with that power...its positively cosmic...almost like being a genie...except I can't grant wishes and stuff...but I can create something beautiful. That I can do, and I am so excited for that. I think that is why I love music so much. I can create something beautiful, something sad and beautiful, something happy and beautiful.

I can say that I definitely have a testimony that we are not alone, and I have gained this testimony through music. Think about it: If you take a song, any song, and you think about the lyrics, or the meaning, or the story behind the song, you find that someone, somewhere, at some time has felt exactly the same way that you feel or have felt. Its so odd how universal love, hope, despair, and anger are...they all have a basis in the same language. You see this through music. No matter if you're singing in English, French, Russian, or Danish, you can tell what the major emotion is. You can feel with the composer, the artist, the reaches across time, space and class systems. I love it and I am so glad to have it as a part of my life forever. I know that I joke that my masters is totally useless, but that isn't entirely true. If anything, I am fulfilled by it and the knowledge I have gained.

What else is next? I'm not sure....

My goal for the moment is not to call Sam...I'm letting him breathe...remember?

What is my New Year Resolution? I don't make resolutions. I generally find that I am not successful. What I do try to do is create a new habit, I make a goal. My goal for 2010 is to get better at my scripture studies. I was doing a killer job after I went through the temple, but life and time got away from me and in the last 6 months I haven't been as faithful about it as I should have been. Hence, my goal for 2010 is to read more scriptures.

Here's looking forward to 2010. Its time for a new start. Hopefully this year with bring in the spring season of my life. While I try to keep chipper and happy about things, for a while I've felt like I've been living in a constant winter. Its nice to see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows what will happen next. As we all know, my life is the most watched reality television show on the other side of the veil....God, the ever clever producer, is always finding ways to change things up and make me scramble for every ounce of pride I can save. I may have ups, I may have downs, I may fall apart, but I know that I have support and people who love me, and I know I am strong. No matter what 2010 brings, I know that I will come out swinging and win the day, even when it seems like I'm losing.

Hugs and loves till next year!

1 comment:

Meikjn said...

Happy new year! and I am impressed with your temple attendance kids make it hard, I have not been in a while. and singing is never a waste of time. (at least not the way you do it.) and don't be too mean to your poor students... some of us get intimidated easily.(just kidding)