Monday, November 30, 2009

Danger! Danger Will Robinson!


So, I'll admit convinced me to try a membership to an LDS dating website for a month... I have a few friends and even some family members who have met their significant other online, and I've always been very curious to see if it would work.

At this point, let's just say that I am glad I haven't paid for more than a month. I have met a lot of guys, chatted and had some interesting conversation, but my recent dates with two gentlemen I met through the website have made me question if I even belong in the dating world at all...LOL...

So, let me tell you the stories and then you can tell me how THEY find me...

Date # 1:

Let me preface this by saying I knew in advance that I wasn't physically attracted to this person at all, but I figured, "Hmmmm maybe I'm just being picky." I decided he deserved a chance, he seemed perfectly normal and very kind. He was coming home for Thanksgiving from Tennessee where he works and "opportunity is not a lengthy visitor" (bonus points if you can name the musical...LOL)

So, the date started out...he still seemed perfectly nice so I was excited to think that if anything I would have a pleasant evening with a new friend. However, there were no "sparks" flying. I just wasn't feeling it. As the evening progressed, I began to feel bad, because while I wasn't feeling it, he obviously was. He was asking very deep personal questions, questions that I didn't feel were appropriate for a first date, but I figured I would answer them because atleast it would keep the conversation going.

We went to Sol Rio for dinner...I told him that the only reason you go to Sol Rio is their pork...he ordered the chicken...and then proceeded to complain about his dinner the whole time...

We went to a movie. I was sending very clear signals with my body language that there would be no snuggling or holding hands, or atleast I thought I was clear. He literally pulled my hands apart and put my hand in his, he then proceeded to put his arm around me, pull me head into his chest and say "You know, you don't have to sit so far away." I didn't know what to do...I sat up and said that my neck was hurting. Then, in the middle of the movie he leans over and says "Give me a back rub." I was very confused....the boy had arms and hands like an octopus and I couldn't keep up and keep him away...

At the end of the evening we were driving back to my parent's apartment and he said, "So, do you kiss on the first date?" I very quickly and firmly answered (almost shouting) "NO!" He then proceeded to ask me to justify why I wouldn't kiss on the first date (ie kiss him) The nerve! As we stood at the doorstep to say goodnight he then asked me to DTR (that means Define the Relationship for those of you who have been out of the dating game for a while) I was flabbergasted....I very politely told him that I didn't know him well enough to say that I would be his girlfriend and that I wasn't interested in trying to do the long distance thing...he left dejected, I left confused and a little disgusted...

Date #2:

Okay, I didn't think things could get any worse. This other guy refused to show me a picture or tell me what he did for a living while we were conversing online, he said he wanted to discuss it in person...Should have been my first warning.

We seemed to have a lot in common, so I was willing to give him a chance. He invited me out for a Sunday afternoon drive. I thought, okay...but considering my first experience with a guy from this website on Friday I was half tempted to call my parents or Sheena and tell them what kind of car he drove, what color it was, and what I was wearing just in case....

So, Sunday rolls around, and I am having a very good hair day...I don't often consider myself "hot" but on Sunday I looked smokin'! I was very happy with my overall look and I thought, well if this guy is worth it I know he will be pleased with me in person as opposed to me the picture...

Yeah...he pulls up in a black BMW with tinted windows and windshield (supposedly illegal in the state of ID, but no one seemed to be stopping him) I opened the car door and I was very disappointed...VERY MUCH NOT MY TYPE...but I'd agreed to go with him, so instead of making an excuse to not go like my instincts told me to, I get in the car, smile, and try to be polite. He kept touching me, he kept punching my arm and tickling my leg, and all the while I sat there like an idiot smiling. We began to discuss our families and family dynamics and where we fit in...

and then...something happened that I never thought I would experience in my life....

Call me crazy, but you don't tell a girl you were molested as a child on the first date...NO JOKE...I kept trying to change the subject, but he just kept going...DANGER, DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!!!!!!

I wanted to ask him to slow down to 35, that way I could tuck and roll and then I could hopefully use my phone to call for a ride. To make matters worse, we just kept driving, I didn't know where we were going. As we got off the freeway to go to Ashton, I realized he was trying to take me to Mesa Falls....I knew it wouldn't be a good idea, but since I knew I was in the car with captain crazy, I decided not to question his juedgement. As we made our way up the winding mountain road, the snow got worse and worse. Finally, we passed a sign that said "Road not maintained past this point" I guess I looked visibly nervous because he said "Are you alright?" I wanted to shout "No, I'm in the car with a psycho who won't stop touching me and wants to tell me his life story,and to top it all off you're going to get us stuck!" But, my social filter got the best of me and I said, "I'm just a little concerned about the road conditions. We're not exactly in a truck with 4 wheel drive." He laughed and patted the dash and said,"This car can make it through anything, its BMW." Thank you captain obvious...

We slowly made our way up the unmaintained road and found the turn off to get to the lower falls, it was completely snowed in (so surprising, right?) My date began to turn the car around, and we started to spin out...that's right we got stuck! I was stuck with super freak for 45 minutes before anyone else came along to help... HELLO AWKWARD PREGNANT TURTLE MOMENT!

As we made our way down the road, he laughed and said, "I guess you were right, but I'm glad you're a good sport about it." I politely laughed and looked out the window...the more time I spent with him the more I wished I had the number for a good plastic surgeon, a doctor who could either give him a new face because perhaps that would make me less nervous because the longer I spent with him the more creepy he became, or give me a new face so I could go into hiding...I wasn't sure which I preferred.

As we turned out onto the freeway, he mentioned going back to his place to watch a movie. I politely smiled and said, "You know, I had to work really late last night, and I have to work late again tonight, I really just want to get home and take a nap." He dejectedly agreed to take me was the longest drive I've been on in a very long time. He kept remarking that I looked uncomfortable...I guess my acting skills were off, but I didn't care, I was practically crawling up the side of the car...and he kept reaching over and tickling my thigh and laughing....I just tried to keep the conversation going and focus on something else.

So, he wouldn't stop texting me after the date, and he wrote me a very long message afterwards as well...I didn't read it all. All I saw was him asking if I thought he was attractive or do you tell someone that they strongly resemble a person with Downsyndrome (not that I'm prejudice, but that is seriously what he reminded me of)? I wrote back and very politely told him that I didn't feel a spark and I didn't see us being more than friends, and wished him luck with his future endeavors...I left out the part that he creeped me out and I failed to tell him that for future reference, he probably shouldn't mention his colorful family past until he is in a committed relationship...I thought that perhaps it would just be best to let him continue on his socially awkward path rather than burst his bubble...

Later that night at work, my team lead Amanda and I were commiserating. I guess she had her own brush with internet dating on E Harmony...her experiences were colorful as well...we then decided that if we were only going to attract superfreaks, we should come up with ways to get out of the are a few of the lines we came up with:

1) "How well versed in the Idaho Child Support laws are you? I know quite a bit..."

2)" I have 5 baby daddies already, are you interested in becoming # 6?"

3) "Hey do you remember those unsolved murders last year?...yeah, so do I..."

4) put your ear to your watch and start talking to it, To watch: "Yes sir, loud and clear" To him" "I'm sorry, we'll have to cut this short, they need me back at the base."

5) Put a square of chocolate and a square of chocolate flavored ex lax in a zip lock bag, then say "If you want me to take a risk on you, you can go ahead and take a risk too, choose your poison..."

6) Carry around a fold out of pictures of cats...pull it out, "This is Mister Snugglepuff, and he's looking for a new daddy...yessss heee issss..."

7) At dinner, spill something on yourself, crawl out the bathroom window and call for a ride.

8) "My ex boyfriend still gets a little jealous...he used to be a cage fighter. Let's just say I don't get on many second dates. But don't worry, my last date was only in the hospital overnight."

9) *and my personal favorite* "You know that show Ghost Whisperer show? Yeah, I can do that..."

10) "So, I thought I should let you know...I was involved in a hit and run accident a few weeks ago, the cops found me do you feel about prison orange as a wedding color?"

This list could go on...Amanda and I were at it for about 5 hours...lets just say we both left with a headache from laughing so much...

But seriously...HOW DO THEY FIND ME? Where is the giant neon sign above my head that says, "Only jerks and superfreaks need apply?" and how do I turn it off?

Needless to say, I don't believe I will be renewing my membership after this month is over. I will leave online dating to the superfreaks, if I am going to date someone,I'll do it the normal way.... Thank you very much!

Hugs and loves until next time...


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ain't we got fun!

Well, well, well,

Life and time march on and here I find myself stressed (just a little) but I trudge ahead, as usual...I find myself thinking only a few things today...

1) Here is my one letter of complaint for the week...

Dear God,

I am only writing because I have one small question. Where are the hot and cold faucets located on a man. I only ask because I believe the cold faucet on mine is leaking, and I'd like to fix the fixture, or completely remove it all together....okay I guess I have 2 questions, why does the cold faucet even exist?

Much love,

2) I hope scales don't lie....because if this one is lying its a sick see, according to the scale I am 1 pound away from my goal weight (insert cheering and general rejoicing here) If it is lying, then I will feel completely discombobulated, I've been working really hard, and it seemed for a while as if I had nothing to show for it, but lately as the number has gone down, my confidence and energy has increased...please scale, don't lie....that is just too cruel and unusual.

Life seems to be alright, I'm stressed, like I said earlier...between a boyfriend who isn't sure he wants to be a boyfriend right now, accidentely going into overdraft at my bank in Missoula (I made a mistake and forgot to change accounts when I was paying a bill and by the time I realized it, the payment was already pending...oh well, what do you do but pay the fees and move on, right?) and also the ISU admissions office apparent lack of genius (they've had my app for over a month, cashed the check-which I shouldn't have had to write anyway- and received my transcripts- apparently, in spite of all this somehow I slipped through the cracks and they hadn't reviewed my app yet...hmmmm.... not to toot my horn here, but I'm kind of a sure thing.) but, in spite of everything, I am happier than I have been in a long time. Moving home was the right decision. I needed my family, and they needed me.

I find myself gaining faith out of the funniest things. I have been reading NieNei's blog lately, I still need to get around to bookmarking it for everyone. If you go to my sister Amber's blog (Wray Family on the left) she has a link to it. Nei Nei is this incredible woman named Stephanie Nielson. She was in a plane crash and suffered burns over the majority of her body (I believe 90%) She is this amazing person who overcomes so much every day. She definitely gives a wake up call as you read what she goes through on a daily basis. In spite of everything, her blogs are always filled with hope. I used to have that, and I think I'm getting it back. She challenges me to make sure that I get it back. I think, if she can endure all that she does, I definitely can go through anything.

Think about it, if God has enough grace and power to help a woman who felt like she was average and ordinary become extraordinary in spite of desperate and seemingly bleak circumstances... to help her to be happy and complete in spite of constant pain, imagine what he can do for someone with faith in him who has completely smaller problems in comparison.

I am greatful for my trials...its so weird to say that. You can see that they were designed for me. They are unique, only I have the knowledge and particular faith to handle them and grow. I hope that I can grow into the woman that God wants me to be...that I can grow into the person that I was before my life on this earth...I have decided to make it my mission to remember who I was before I came here and then grow from that...because before we came here, we were all extraordinary, we were all unique, God loved each and every one of us as individuals for our individual strengths. He sent us to the time and place where he knew this earth would need us the most.

Don't forget, try to remember! Remember not who you are...but who you were! You still possess that same spirit that was your being in the pre-existence. You lived a life before you came here, you developed unique and special abilities, and God needs you to use them. Look up from the darkness, don't let life's little obstacles bring you down- don't fall into the pit of misery and endless woe.

Helaman 5:12- And now my sons remember, remember (he says it twice, must be important) that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the son of God that ye must build your foundation. That when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea his shafts in the whirlwinds he shall have NO POWER over you to drag you down into the pit of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built. Which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

God's true gospel is back on the earth, it has been for more than 100 years, we know he still speaks to us in our day, we know that through the power of personal revelation he can and will continue to help, aid and inspire us every day no matter what. Let us always remember who we were- children of God, who we are- children of God- we have endless potential, we can make it through ANYTHING....we have been given a support system, a family- and even if that family isn't traditional, even if it doesn't consist of parents, brothers and sisters, or children- even if it isn't a family of blood relations, God makes sure that we have people in our lives to help and support us. He loves us, he wants us to be happy in spite of everything. See the blessings of every little day, there are so many!

Live, laugh and love- Love is the most important of with your whole heart, love in spite of weakness, love in spite of bad choices, love without ulterior because we had a Savior, a brother, a Redeemer, who loved us and everyone regardless of our like the Savior loved without judgement.

Hugs and MUCH LOVE until next time.


Friday, November 6, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me! can complain all you want, I know its been a while. I've been very very busy in the last few weeks. Between moving back to Idaho Falls, the job hunt, my older sister almost buying the farm and life....let's just say things have gotten a little hectic.

I've had a fun few weeks though, don't get me wrong. Today, however, I am going to tell you about my birthday....

On October 24 I graced the world stage with my can all take a few moments to thank God now...I won't mind....go ahead...


For the first time in many many years I was actually home and able to hang with my family for my birthday. They did a good job trying to make me feel special.

I'd been having a difficult time with turning 26...I don't know why, I guess I was so focused on all the things that I hadn't accomplished that I forgot to see all the things that I had. I finally came to some awesome conclusions....but that is for another blog.

My family took me to Craigos for a pizza lunch, my friend, and my sister's friend Ashley was there with her family. It was so fun to hang with them. Ashley gave me a beautiful figurine....I had been wondering if I would find any chachkies to put on my shelves in my room...and she totally delivered! Thanks Ash...I really do love it!

After lunch, my mom, my step-dad, my sister and my nieces all accompanied me to the mall for a haircut courtesy of them and the amazing Molly...none of you have had a haircut until you've seen Molly, she is pretty much amazing.

After the haircut it was to the apartment complex clubhouse for cheesecake (my fave, next to German Chocolate Cake, but mom can't eat it because of the coconut, and I wanted everyone to be able to enjoy) and my birthday present. My whole family chipped in and got me a pink guitar! I've had so much fun trying to learn how to play it. I've learned alot for only having had it a few weeks, but unfortunately, one of the strings broke and I've been back and forth about sending it back because I can't get the string to tune or taking it somewhere to see if they can fix it...I need to make a decision about that pretty quick don't I?

All in all, it was a beautiful day (even if it was cold and rainy outside) and I loved that I got to spend it with my family.

I am so blessed to have such amazing people in my life. People I can depend on, people that love me no matter how crazy I am or how bad my jokes are...LOL

I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have been given to be linked to them for forever. I am so fortunate to have been born into a family where we have the fully restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I am so fortunate to have the knowledge that I have and the opportunities I have been blessed with.

Life may be hard at times, but there is so much fun and good between the hard times, I think if we all focused on the good things, no matter how small we will see how amazing our circumstances really are.

Here are a few things that made me smile recently:

1) Teaching Raylee to say "You got it dude!" ala Michelle Tanner from Full House....I promise, its adorable!
2) Raylee wrapping her arms around me and saying "I wuv you Aunt B."
3) Addie smiling and crossing her eyes at me....too cute!
4) Getting Macee ready for the Wray Family Halloween party...Amber walks in the bathroom and says "Brittany! She's five, not fifteen."....I just laughed....
5) Talking Harry Potter with Austin...he may only be 7, but he is definitely dialed in.
6) Finding a new catch phrase/annoyance for Kiersten when she has a new pregnancy ailment...."I love your life, its like an episode of 'I didn't know I was Pregnant' except you know you're pregnant." She laughs, and then she hits me....its a love/hate relationship.
7)Andrew.....for those of you in the know, you know what I mean, for those of you that don't...let's just say, I don't kiss and tell...
8) Watching musicals with my parents and listening to my step-dad sing along...he never used to sing along, he must be getting soft in his old age.
9) Catching up on Ghost Whisperer with Amber, its so nice to share the love....
10) Strumming my guitar randomly in A major while Raylee danced around...I was hysterical and entertaining!

Take some time and focus on your little reasons to smile, you see God's blessings in every one!

Hugs and loves until next time!