The thought struck me like an arrow the other day....
Faith has started, of her own volition, crawling up to me when I'm laying on the floor with her. She smiles and then proceeds to pat my belly.
The funny thing is that Jeff has really only had her pat my belly once or twice, and to be honest I didn't think she got it...
But now, she does it unsolicited, smiles, and coos at my belly...
She is going to have a sister...and I'm pretty sure she knows it.
All through this pregnancy I've felt so guilty about having another baby so soon...wondering why Heavenly Father decided to bless our little family to grow so soon, worried about the impact it will have on my darling Little Diva. I love her so much, and the thought that I was robbing her of precious "mommy and me" time was almost too much to bear at times...but considering the changes I've noticed in her in the last few weeks, I can only say that I'm pretty sure Heavenly Father knew what he was doing.
She gets bored pretty easily these days and isn't satisfied unless I'm sitting on the ground with her. I don't even have to play with her, she just wants someone to be there next to her so she isn't alone. She sees other kids or other babies and she just wants to be around them. Of course, she flashes that signature charming smile and hypnotizes them into playing with her, but I think she would be perfectly content even if they just let her sit with them and all did their own thing. She is friendly and wants to be loved and have a companion.
I often joke that Heavenly Father denied their application to be twins and gave them the next best thing...but sometimes I have to wonder if there is some truth to my joke.
Especially as she is patting my belly and talking to it like she is talking to an old friend.
What a blessing it is to have siblings. Someone to play with, someone to love you, someone to teach you, and someone to make you feel special. Families are one of Heavenly Father's neatest earthly creations. We learn so much from each other and we can all help one another through the toughest times imaginable, bonded by an earthly blood link, and an indescribable spiritual tie that makes us love one another instantly....
As D-Day looms closer and closer, and I start getting nervous and sometimes terrified about what the next few months will bring, I can't help but be calmed by this knowledge...things won't always be easy. I'm sure I will split up my fair share of battles over dolls and clothes and makeup as the years pass, but I am so blessed to know that my girls will have one another. I can only pray that they will be able to develop a close relationship as they age like I've been blessed with when it comes to my sisters. We may not have always understood each other growing up (heck, we don't always understand one another now) but we know that we can turn to each other and that we will do all we can to help one another.
I pray that I have the strength to be as great a mom as my earthly mother has been...she worked so hard as we grew up to make sure we were playing together, including one another (even when we didn't want to) and were showing our love to everyone in our family. I credit her with my siblings not only being my siblings, but my best friends.
Lord, give me strength, give me knowledge and give me intuition...
How am I feeling right now? A mixture of terrified and excited.... but perfect love casteth out fear...so I am working on remembering that perfect love is inherent in families...it comes because of our spirits, it comes because of the light of Christ, and if I set a good example and have faith in my beautiful children's bright spirits, I know we will make it through and be better than ever.
They were meant to be sisters and they were meant to be close...these are two things that are very apparent to me...the rest will work itself out...no matter how much I may fumble along the way.
Hugs and Loves until next time darlings!
P.S. For those of you who don't see my pics on Facebook...here we are at 34 weeks (well, almost 34 weeks...33 weeks and 4 days...) Yes- I pretty much feel like a whale...but a grateful whale. My body is amazing and doing something that I had been told once upon a time it wouldn't do...hooray for the blessings of Heavenly Father. He truly does bless us with everything we pray for and the righteous desires of our hearts...we just have to be willing to work with his timetable...he has the master plan and he knows best. I was so silly for ever being frustrated that things weren't working out the way I wanted them to when I wanted them too...I defer to the big guy- he definitely knows better than me....I was wrong and he was right. I'm not afraid to admit it. All we can do is pray and wait for the time to be right.