This weekend was definitely crazy, but it was a really good time.
Jeff and I left the sleepy town of Pocatello for some real fun in the bustling metropolis of Idaho Falls...I know, you're all green with envy right now, right?
We spent the night with my fabulous older sister. She gave us a bit of a scare last week, they thought she was having a heart attack, we flew to Idaho Falls and she ended up pulling through okay, making it possible for us to come for a fantastic weekend at her house. (She even went and got cookies and soda to commemorate the occasion...I know, I felt special too, don't you wish you were as lucky?)
Jeff worked on his homework like I busy bee while I danced with little Addie in the living room. She was amazed at how fantastic I was...I kicked, did turns and spins, and was my best impersonation of a ballerina for her...she showed me some of her moves, I showed her some of mine, it was a dancing frenzy!
In the morning, Jeff came out and snuggled on the couch with me (I let him have the guest bedroom so he could sleep in, but I should have known that wouldn't really happen when he knew I was in the next room on the couch...what can I say, I've captivated and entranced him...) My nieces and nephew were awake downstairs and they were playing with Macee's "Bop It"...you know that game that says "Bop it, twist it, pull it...etc. They were shouting out the directions to eachother and having a blast, giggling and laughing the whole time...Jeff squeezed me tight and whispered in my ear, "No kids for atleast a year." I giggled, he giggled and then we listened to the melody of happy children's voices coming up from the basement.
Kelly, Amber's husband, still slightly disappointed by the Yankee's loss on Friday night, managed to pull himself out of bed and make us some delicious breakfast burritos. They were yum-o! Thanks Kelly, you da man! I was almost finished getting ready, and I didn't think it was a big deal for me to walk in a little late for breakfast, so I kept going. Jeff decided to wait for me. He came into the bathroom and stood behind me. He put his arms around my waist and mimicked the faces I made as I put on mascara and the like...I giggled, and kissed him...and kept going in spite of his teasing. We walked out hand-in-hand and sat down to breakfast.
The kids decided to buzz about their primary program last Sunday. Primary Program Sunday is the one thing I really miss about family wards. I love watching the little kids get up and sing and recite their carefully learned parts. Little Addie sang us her favorite song from the program. I looked over at Jeff while she sang, he was smiling from ear to ear...which made me smile even bigger. (I love that man!)
After breakfast, Amber and I ran off to finish with preparations for my bridal shower. Amber was looking a little green there for a minute, she is such a trooper and pushed through. Thank you Amber Sue for all your hard work! I had a blast.
We had the bridal shower at our friend Ashley's new big beautiful house. We had a lot of fun (most of it at my expense...don't even get me started about the chewing gum or the Tinkerbell pajamas... LOL) We had an awesome turn out and most of my favorite people were there. I got some awesome home decor items to doll my apartment up with after we are married and had a lot of laughs.
I had my cousins come all the way from Twin Falls and my soon to be mother in law came all the way from Preston! Bless their hearts. I felt very loved and so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. ( I wish I had pictures, but alas, you may have to read my sister's blog to get them...if and when she decides to blog about it.)
The grand finale of the day was that my mother in law has finished altering my wedding dress! YAY!!!!!! HOORAY!!! We whisked back to my sister's house and I tried it on to make sure it fit. Thanks Cindy for all your hard work! You're amazing! My nieces got to see the wedding dress for the first time and they were transfixed. Addie told me that I looked, "Boo-tea-ful" and Macee said I looked like a princess...when you have the approving votes of a 4 year old and a 6 year old, you know you're on the right track! :)
We then had a quick dinner with Jeff's parents and rushed back to Poky for the choir concert I was supposed to be singing at. I made it with ten minutes to throw on my choir dress, quickly retease my hair and fly out the door. I got to the venue, put on my red lipstick, and sang my little heart out. Of course, we started late (it was the high school choral invitational and with over 400 high school students to seat and their parents, of course we'd be a little late) so my E.T.A. to get home to Jeff to start my birthday celebration was only an hour off...(I said I'd be home by 8, it was closer to 9)
You see, Sunday was my birthday. We were going to try to do something fun the night before, so we rushed over to Albertsons and rented How to Train Your Dragon from the Redbox...and Jeff got me Cran-Grape juice (one of my faves) and some European dark chocolate (my ultimate fave) We snuggled up and watched the movie. It was awesome...but then again, I love Dreamworks, they come up with some pretty crazy, cool, creative stuff...which I think is severely lacking in other movies that end up on the big screen. Big fan...HUGE!
The movie ended, and we fell asleep...believe me, when I woke up and realized that it was getting late and I should leave, it was really tough to pull myself away...sleep is a beautiful thing, sleep snuggled up with the person you love is an even better thing...but alas...I pulled myself away and went to sleep.
4:30 AM...my phone goes off...its Jeff, he wants his Brittany...its cold, rainy and wet outside but I brave the elements and go to his apartment. We snuggle up on the couch and sleep until 9. We wake up, he says, "Happy Birthday" kisses me, and tells me that we will make my birthday breakfast up in my apartment. He tells me to go upstairs and he will be up shortly.
I get the key in the lock and the door flies open...My roommates call out "Happy Birthday!" They all hug me. Jeff asked them to make me breakfast! It was my roommate Lauren's birthday too. I tell her happy birthday and say that I should have made breakfast for her. We all laugh and sit down to eat...only Jeff isn't there, so we wait...and wait...and wait...and finally my roommates go down to kidnap him.
Chelsea and Lauren drag him into the apartment a few minutes later. Chelsea jokes that if he wasn't so tall she would have thrown him over her shoulder a'la cave woman style...We all laugh, we pray, we eat..
that's right we eat, we pray, we love! After all, there is a popular book that says that those things are the key to true happiness, right?
Breakfast was over, Jeff had to jet to get to meetings (he is the current ward mission leader) and me and the girls gab. I have to say, I have the best roommates in the world. God knew how much I needed them and how much they needed me. We have helped eachother in so many ways and I am truly blessed to count them among my "besties."
Melissa's parents came to visit...turned out that the 24th was also their anniversary. We all sit down and have a lovely lunch before church with Mel's parents. It was a blast and her parents are just as awesome as her!
I head to church, but then I turn around. Jeff calls, and he wants to drive up together. I meet him at his apartment...HE BAKED FOR ME...that's right...he baked...and not just anything, one of my favorites- German Chocolate Cake with the coconut pecan frosting! Yum-O!
We're late for church, but it seems Heavenly Father has a birthday present for me too...instead of speakers we are having a "hymn testimony meeting"- meaning, like a regular testimony meeting, people get up and bear their testimony, but they pick a hymn that goes along with the theme or just pick their favorite hymn and say why its their favorite and bear testimony about that. We spent the entire service singing...What an awesome birthday present from the big man upstairs. He loves me alot, and he has blessed me abundantly the last few months. I am so grateful to a loving God who has made sure that I am right where I need to be.
Jeff and I leave after sacrament, we decided to drive home and spend part of the day with my family. My grandma is staying with my parents this week, and I was super excited for them to meet. I had to giggle when Jeff and I were getting food (because we were hungry) and grandma, in the way that only grandma can, said, "You make sure to fill his glass up all the way with that lemonade, its so good!" It took me right back to her house in Moreland before grandpa passed away...that sums grandma up. She gives and makes sure that she shares abundantly.
Jeff and I shared our german chocolate cake with everyone. My sisters both came over with their kids and husbands and shared in the bliss... and then, all too soon, it was time to leave.
Of course, we leave right as a huge storm rolls through. I started out driving, but I chickened out at the rest area between Blackfoot and Idaho Falls. My man pushed through...even in Fort Hall when it started raining and hailing so hard we couldn't see in front of us...he slowed down, stayed calm, and held my hand because, even though I was trying to put on the facade of calm, he knew that I was terrified. We made it home...and there was much rejoicing.
Goodnight is always the worst part of the day... it will get tougher once he moves into our apartment (did I mention we have to have a new place for him to live by Monday?) We think we found the place. Its a giant studio apartment that doesn't actually feel like a studio apartment at all. We are putting in our application today, so here is hoping that it all works out, if not, Jeff may need to find a couch to stay on (he insists he can live in his car, but I insist that this will not be the case! LOL)
Well, things are getting crazier as the big day gets closer, but its all been worth it so far.
Keep smiling, and look for the blessings in your lives. Even when the times seem as dark as they can get there is a light waiting for you to find it.
Hugs and loves until next time darlings!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Midterms, Apartments, and Weddings Oh MY!
I don't know how it managed to sneak up on us, but here we are...as of today there is a month left until the BIG DAY....
Of course there have to be a few minor stresses along the way... life isn't supposed to be easy, if it was it wouldn't be so much fun!
Last week was supposed to be midterm week...I only had one test, a quiz of my awesome Trombone skills...apparently I am proficient at a 6th grade level...woohooo! However, now I have to learn the Trumpet, we will see how that goes.
My midterms didn't end there though. Apparently, I have a midterm this week-its online, its open book, I don't know why I'm so stressed about it...maybe its the two papers and other assignments I have to do on top of it...all of them are due the same day...How did I get so lucky?
This week has been a very sure reminder of why I was feeling so burned out after my Masters, boy howdie am I feeling that way again! I am so ready to be done with school...top it all off with the knowledge that if I was in any other state all I would have to do to get my teaching license would be to take the Praxis I and II and they would happily hand me a teaching license (thank you Masters degree) but in the state of Idaho (one of the lowest paying states for teachers P.S.) they make you jump through hoops and do monkey dances to get your teaching license...
Oh well, C'est la vie. I know that somewhere down the road I will be grateful that I had to work so hard to get my teaching credentials.
There is one bright spot in all my madness...
My fiancee is the best person in the whole world! He takes such good care of me and is so supportive of everything I do. Yesterday he sat through an entire studio class with me because I was singing. He wanted to come cheer me on. (P.S. Classical vocal music isn't exactly Jeff's favorite, but he did it for me, because he loves me, and that is one of the many reasons I love him so much!) He also went to pick up my prescription for my oh so needed blood sugar medication since he knew I wouldn't have a break in the day to do it myself. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world- he is better than perfect (although he won't admit it) I am so excited for what's coming in a month. I can't wait to be Brittany Nielson!
The wedding plans are slowly but surely coming together. I need to call the lady who is decorating the church and verify plans with her, we need to order the M&Ms in our wedding colors, we need to buy table cloths and figure out who will help us make tons of cupcakes and if we want to add a fruit tray to the mix, we need to get a play list or a DJ for the reception, and I need to call Bishop Kirkham or Bishop Piippo and ask if they will talk about eternal marriage at the ring ceremony before Jeff and I put our two cents in and exchange the rings. My bridesmaids are taken care of, all of them have fabric for their dresses and thanks to Jeff's mom we have hairbows for all the little girls in the family and for all the bridesmaids (I still have to make my hairbow to go with my veil, but that should be fun!)
Jeff and I are also apartment hunting, which is slightly stressful, but mostly because its hard to get people to answer their phones, apparently no one wants to rent to us, LOL.
I am bound and determined that we will find an apartment for $300 a month. The kicker is, Jeff will have to move in November 1 because he sold his contract at Collegiate. This part makes me sad. I know I will be living with him soon, but it has been so nice to have him just down the stairs from me. All I can say is his move will put a major dampening on our special snuggle time, but I'm sure we will manage to survive...I can do hard things!
P.S. if anyone knows anyone who owns and rents apartments in Pocatello who might be looking for some awesome tenants, let me know! We have to find something next week for sure!
Well, as far as I'm concerned, stresses aside, life is glorious and the world is a beautiful place. I am so excited for what the future holds I can hardly stand it. Jeff and I went to the temple recently and I couldn't focus on the session the entire time. I couldn't focus because all I could do was think about the BIG DAY. I sat imagining how I would feel, what I would look like, what Jeff would look like, what our pictures would look like...etc...My heart is very full, and I thank God every night that such a wonderful thing could happen to me.
I am truly blessed...so what is a little stress? A little stress is the exchange that must be made for all the happiness and blessings that I have been able to have the last few months. Heavenly Father loves me very much.
Hugs and loves until next time darlings!
Of course there have to be a few minor stresses along the way... life isn't supposed to be easy, if it was it wouldn't be so much fun!
Last week was supposed to be midterm week...I only had one test, a quiz of my awesome Trombone skills...apparently I am proficient at a 6th grade level...woohooo! However, now I have to learn the Trumpet, we will see how that goes.
My midterms didn't end there though. Apparently, I have a midterm this week-its online, its open book, I don't know why I'm so stressed about it...maybe its the two papers and other assignments I have to do on top of it...all of them are due the same day...How did I get so lucky?
This week has been a very sure reminder of why I was feeling so burned out after my Masters, boy howdie am I feeling that way again! I am so ready to be done with school...top it all off with the knowledge that if I was in any other state all I would have to do to get my teaching license would be to take the Praxis I and II and they would happily hand me a teaching license (thank you Masters degree) but in the state of Idaho (one of the lowest paying states for teachers P.S.) they make you jump through hoops and do monkey dances to get your teaching license...
Oh well, C'est la vie. I know that somewhere down the road I will be grateful that I had to work so hard to get my teaching credentials.
There is one bright spot in all my madness...
My fiancee is the best person in the whole world! He takes such good care of me and is so supportive of everything I do. Yesterday he sat through an entire studio class with me because I was singing. He wanted to come cheer me on. (P.S. Classical vocal music isn't exactly Jeff's favorite, but he did it for me, because he loves me, and that is one of the many reasons I love him so much!) He also went to pick up my prescription for my oh so needed blood sugar medication since he knew I wouldn't have a break in the day to do it myself. I am truly the luckiest girl in the world- he is better than perfect (although he won't admit it) I am so excited for what's coming in a month. I can't wait to be Brittany Nielson!
The wedding plans are slowly but surely coming together. I need to call the lady who is decorating the church and verify plans with her, we need to order the M&Ms in our wedding colors, we need to buy table cloths and figure out who will help us make tons of cupcakes and if we want to add a fruit tray to the mix, we need to get a play list or a DJ for the reception, and I need to call Bishop Kirkham or Bishop Piippo and ask if they will talk about eternal marriage at the ring ceremony before Jeff and I put our two cents in and exchange the rings. My bridesmaids are taken care of, all of them have fabric for their dresses and thanks to Jeff's mom we have hairbows for all the little girls in the family and for all the bridesmaids (I still have to make my hairbow to go with my veil, but that should be fun!)
Jeff and I are also apartment hunting, which is slightly stressful, but mostly because its hard to get people to answer their phones, apparently no one wants to rent to us, LOL.
I am bound and determined that we will find an apartment for $300 a month. The kicker is, Jeff will have to move in November 1 because he sold his contract at Collegiate. This part makes me sad. I know I will be living with him soon, but it has been so nice to have him just down the stairs from me. All I can say is his move will put a major dampening on our special snuggle time, but I'm sure we will manage to survive...I can do hard things!
P.S. if anyone knows anyone who owns and rents apartments in Pocatello who might be looking for some awesome tenants, let me know! We have to find something next week for sure!
Well, as far as I'm concerned, stresses aside, life is glorious and the world is a beautiful place. I am so excited for what the future holds I can hardly stand it. Jeff and I went to the temple recently and I couldn't focus on the session the entire time. I couldn't focus because all I could do was think about the BIG DAY. I sat imagining how I would feel, what I would look like, what Jeff would look like, what our pictures would look like...etc...My heart is very full, and I thank God every night that such a wonderful thing could happen to me.
I am truly blessed...so what is a little stress? A little stress is the exchange that must be made for all the happiness and blessings that I have been able to have the last few months. Heavenly Father loves me very much.
Hugs and loves until next time darlings!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Dedications
I've spent the last few days thinking about music...music for my wedding...
music I will be singing at my wedding...
I want the perfect song, I want it to reflect the way I feel in a way that I cannot with words alone.
I have been racking my brain, and I've come up with a few ideas, but none of them seem quite right. My knee jerk reaction was to use this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqsrVQfNYPc&p=8C0A38F94B7B67DF&playnext=1&index=35
In fact, the link above is the song I've dreamed about singing since I was a little girl (then again, at the age of 5 when I picked this particular song I was dead set on the idea that I was going to marry Gene Kelly and we would sing it together...)
However, as I've been a music major for quite a while, I've been exposed to a few other options that could be lovely as well.
Like this:
or this:
or even this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63USHAggfTw&feature=related
I definitely love this one:
Its all so confusing! So, in an effort to clear my head, I've been trying to think about what songs I would dedicate to all the people that I love...
To my Mom and Parker:
To Amber and Kiersten:
To Aaron:
To all my friends:
This list can go on...but I will stop it...
In the meantime, I will just continue trying to find a song that says everything I want to say...I love music, its pretty amazing like that.
Hugs and loves until next time.
music I will be singing at my wedding...
I want the perfect song, I want it to reflect the way I feel in a way that I cannot with words alone.
I have been racking my brain, and I've come up with a few ideas, but none of them seem quite right. My knee jerk reaction was to use this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqsrVQfNYPc&p=8C0A38F94B7B67DF&playnext=1&index=35
In fact, the link above is the song I've dreamed about singing since I was a little girl (then again, at the age of 5 when I picked this particular song I was dead set on the idea that I was going to marry Gene Kelly and we would sing it together...)
However, as I've been a music major for quite a while, I've been exposed to a few other options that could be lovely as well.
Like this:
or this:
or even this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63USHAggfTw&feature=related
I definitely love this one:
Its all so confusing! So, in an effort to clear my head, I've been trying to think about what songs I would dedicate to all the people that I love...
To my Mom and Parker:
To Amber and Kiersten:
To Aaron:
To all my friends:
This list can go on...but I will stop it...
In the meantime, I will just continue trying to find a song that says everything I want to say...I love music, its pretty amazing like that.
Hugs and loves until next time.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Dear Daddy
I have been debating over the last few days if I should post this or not. The main reason is because I normally blog while I'm at work (between customers! Don't worry, I'm no slacker, but 2 hours in the box office can go pretty slowly if you have nothing to do)... but I'm not at work today, and I find myself wanting to say all of the things I've been thinking.
Many of you who know me well, know that my dad passed away when I was 12. I still miss him every day. This month marks 15 years that he has been on the other side, doing what he was called away to do. His patriarchal blessing foretold of his early passing, and used the scriptural line, "wist ye not that I must be about my father's business?" Many of my family members (me included) firmly believe that he is on the other side of the veil doing missionary work. My grandfather was the first member of the church in his family, which leaves a lot of Winbergs waiting to hear the gospel and have their temple work done. For those of you who are not LDS, this may not make any sense, let me explain: we believe in life after death, we believe that those who did not have a chance to hear the word of god before their passing are now receiving that opportunity, which is why we do lots of family history work and temple work for the deceased. We also believe that they have the right to accept or decline the work that has been done for them.
But that isn't what this blog is about. Not only does this month mark 15 years since his passing, 15 years since he hasn't been physically present...it marks my birthday, and his birthday. The month of October is always one of mixed emotions for me. It is my favorite month, not because of my birthday, but because I love autumn, I always have. I love walking in crunchy leaves, Halloween, and pumpkin cookies, pies, and toasted pumpkin seeds...October is the month when all of this comes on full force...but it also is month of sad memories- that fateful night when we had to say goodbye all too soon...
I'm also getting married next month...and that coupled with the regular hum drums that I find myself having in the month of October have both caused me to reflect a little bit and wonder. I have a few questions that I wish I could ask my dad, but he isn't here to give me an answer to them. So I have decided to write him a letter:
Dear Daddy,
How are things where you are? Are you getting a lot done? I bet you are, you always seemed to be busy and accomplishing a lot before you left. I'm sorry I haven't been better on my end, I know I need to be doing some family history work. I promise, I will start to work on it when things have slowed down a little bit.
So, a lot has been going on. I often sit and think to myself, "Hmmm self...I wonder if dad knows?" Do you know dad? Were you there when I graduated from high school 8 years ago? It seems like such a long time ago, but maybe for you it wasn't. Were you there when I sang my first solo in Europe? That was so cool! I wish I could have seen the look on your face. Were you there when I graduated with my Bachelors in Music? my Masters? (P.S. Were you disappointed that I decided to study music instead of something more practical? Then again, I think you always knew that I was a dreamer. You always told me to follow my dreams and work hard for them. I was just following your advice.)
The biggest news of all....I'm turning 27! Ha ha...well I guess that isn't the biggest news... I am getting married. I wish you could be here. I wish you could meet Jeff and talk about "guy stuff" with him. I wish you could tell him the story that I made you tell me over and over again. You know, the story about how you and your friends out at the INL were bored one day so you took liquid nitrogen and froze dead lab animals and threw them on the ceiling so they would shatter everywhere....I look back and I wonder why I liked that story so much. Its actually really gross...maybe it was just the way you told it. I bet Jeff would love it.
That's his name by the way, Jeff. I think you'd like him a lot. He hasn't asked me to give up my love for BYU football or the 49ers, so I think you can rest easily knowing that I will be with him for eternity.
You know that thing you used to do to tickle me? You'd make a gun out of your finger, make that funny sound, and from across the room I would feel it and writhe on the floor in the delicious agony of being tickled...he does that. I don't think anyone else has ever been successful in attempting to make a mental connection for tickling me like you did...I guess that's just one more reason you'd like him- he makes me laugh and he loves to do it.
Do you remember how I used to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat? We'd snuggle up on the couch after you got dinner started, it was our special daddy and Brittany time. No one else could intervene. You would play with my hair and we would watch General Hospital...haha...well minus the General Hospital, I find myself in that position with Jeff a lot. You know the best part? Its just as good as I remember it being, in fact, its better...I love feeling safe, I love feeling loved...He gives me that daddy. I bet you would love him for it.
I wonder what the look on your face would be to see me in my wedding dress? I think I will look fabulous, but then again, you know I've always had a flair for the dramatic and whimsical. You will be happy to know that mom and Parker are working extra super hard to make sure that the big day will be every bit as special as you wanted it to be.
Thanks for sending us another dad. I don't think we were ready for it, but I believe that you had a bit of a hand in making sure Parker got to the right place. He needed us, and we needed him. It was a tough start, but we made it through, and I feel very fortunate to know that I have an awesome dad here on earth to look out for me, and I have you.
I miss you. I miss the way you smelled like Old Spice. I miss you making up funny songs, I miss the way you used to call me peanut and Brittmeister. I miss your cheesecake.
But I know you're looking out for me.
I hope you can make it to my wedding. I know I won't see you, but a little sign that you're there, a little sign that you're proud of me, that you're happy for me, would be greatly appreciated.
Stay strong. I know that someday we will see eachother again. Thank you for that gift of knowledge. Thank you for marrying mom in the temple. Thank you for making sure our family was a forever family...Eternity would be pretty crummy without you and everyone else that I love so much.
I love you!
Brittany
Hugs and loves until next time darlings!
Many of you who know me well, know that my dad passed away when I was 12. I still miss him every day. This month marks 15 years that he has been on the other side, doing what he was called away to do. His patriarchal blessing foretold of his early passing, and used the scriptural line, "wist ye not that I must be about my father's business?" Many of my family members (me included) firmly believe that he is on the other side of the veil doing missionary work. My grandfather was the first member of the church in his family, which leaves a lot of Winbergs waiting to hear the gospel and have their temple work done. For those of you who are not LDS, this may not make any sense, let me explain: we believe in life after death, we believe that those who did not have a chance to hear the word of god before their passing are now receiving that opportunity, which is why we do lots of family history work and temple work for the deceased. We also believe that they have the right to accept or decline the work that has been done for them.
But that isn't what this blog is about. Not only does this month mark 15 years since his passing, 15 years since he hasn't been physically present...it marks my birthday, and his birthday. The month of October is always one of mixed emotions for me. It is my favorite month, not because of my birthday, but because I love autumn, I always have. I love walking in crunchy leaves, Halloween, and pumpkin cookies, pies, and toasted pumpkin seeds...October is the month when all of this comes on full force...but it also is month of sad memories- that fateful night when we had to say goodbye all too soon...
I'm also getting married next month...and that coupled with the regular hum drums that I find myself having in the month of October have both caused me to reflect a little bit and wonder. I have a few questions that I wish I could ask my dad, but he isn't here to give me an answer to them. So I have decided to write him a letter:
Dear Daddy,
How are things where you are? Are you getting a lot done? I bet you are, you always seemed to be busy and accomplishing a lot before you left. I'm sorry I haven't been better on my end, I know I need to be doing some family history work. I promise, I will start to work on it when things have slowed down a little bit.
So, a lot has been going on. I often sit and think to myself, "Hmmm self...I wonder if dad knows?" Do you know dad? Were you there when I graduated from high school 8 years ago? It seems like such a long time ago, but maybe for you it wasn't. Were you there when I sang my first solo in Europe? That was so cool! I wish I could have seen the look on your face. Were you there when I graduated with my Bachelors in Music? my Masters? (P.S. Were you disappointed that I decided to study music instead of something more practical? Then again, I think you always knew that I was a dreamer. You always told me to follow my dreams and work hard for them. I was just following your advice.)
The biggest news of all....I'm turning 27! Ha ha...well I guess that isn't the biggest news... I am getting married. I wish you could be here. I wish you could meet Jeff and talk about "guy stuff" with him. I wish you could tell him the story that I made you tell me over and over again. You know, the story about how you and your friends out at the INL were bored one day so you took liquid nitrogen and froze dead lab animals and threw them on the ceiling so they would shatter everywhere....I look back and I wonder why I liked that story so much. Its actually really gross...maybe it was just the way you told it. I bet Jeff would love it.
That's his name by the way, Jeff. I think you'd like him a lot. He hasn't asked me to give up my love for BYU football or the 49ers, so I think you can rest easily knowing that I will be with him for eternity.
You know that thing you used to do to tickle me? You'd make a gun out of your finger, make that funny sound, and from across the room I would feel it and writhe on the floor in the delicious agony of being tickled...he does that. I don't think anyone else has ever been successful in attempting to make a mental connection for tickling me like you did...I guess that's just one more reason you'd like him- he makes me laugh and he loves to do it.
Do you remember how I used to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat? We'd snuggle up on the couch after you got dinner started, it was our special daddy and Brittany time. No one else could intervene. You would play with my hair and we would watch General Hospital...haha...well minus the General Hospital, I find myself in that position with Jeff a lot. You know the best part? Its just as good as I remember it being, in fact, its better...I love feeling safe, I love feeling loved...He gives me that daddy. I bet you would love him for it.
I wonder what the look on your face would be to see me in my wedding dress? I think I will look fabulous, but then again, you know I've always had a flair for the dramatic and whimsical. You will be happy to know that mom and Parker are working extra super hard to make sure that the big day will be every bit as special as you wanted it to be.
Thanks for sending us another dad. I don't think we were ready for it, but I believe that you had a bit of a hand in making sure Parker got to the right place. He needed us, and we needed him. It was a tough start, but we made it through, and I feel very fortunate to know that I have an awesome dad here on earth to look out for me, and I have you.
I miss you. I miss the way you smelled like Old Spice. I miss you making up funny songs, I miss the way you used to call me peanut and Brittmeister. I miss your cheesecake.
But I know you're looking out for me.
I hope you can make it to my wedding. I know I won't see you, but a little sign that you're there, a little sign that you're proud of me, that you're happy for me, would be greatly appreciated.
Stay strong. I know that someday we will see eachother again. Thank you for that gift of knowledge. Thank you for marrying mom in the temple. Thank you for making sure our family was a forever family...Eternity would be pretty crummy without you and everyone else that I love so much.
I love you!
Brittany
Hugs and loves until next time darlings!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Surreal Reality
I'm sorry my last few posts have been so sappy. I'm sure all of you are thinking, "Can't this girl just shut up about how much she loves her fiancee and how happy she is...we get it!" Well, and if not all of you are thinking it, then MANY of you are thinking it.
I guess I just can't help myself.
The last week flew by like a breeze and I'm realizing how fast this week is flying by. Jeff and I feel like its taking forever for our wedding day to get here, on normal days, but today, I'm noticing how much it feels like the world is speeding on around us while we wait. My friend Anna said that this would be how I would feel, but I didn't quite understand what she was talking about until I began to experience it.
Last week, I bought a wedding dress...it was so weird! I guess I had just stopped imagining what it would be like, so when it happened, I had a hard time taking it all in. I thought that I would cry when I found the right dress...like on an episode of 'Say Yes to the Dress' on TLC (one television show that I actually do watch and can get lost in for hours...sad but true.) I found the right dress, I had a hard time deciding between two of them, but my initial "I feel like a bride" reaction won, and I ended up taking home a gorgeous gown that is modern with a vintage vibe. My soon to be mother-in-law Cindy was kind enough this weekend to fit my dress to me, and she worked on the alterations during conference. Every time I put the dress on I had to blink to be sure that it was really happening, that I was really in MY wedding dress...
those words, "my wedding dress," have not been together in a sentence in my head in years.
I feel like I'm living in a dream-like haze. I try to focus on the regular things: school, practicing, and work, but I find myself wishing I could be somewhere else, anywhere else, with Jeff just enjoying this pleasant shift in reality.
Last night we planned our honeymoon...and I almost called him my husband (context: He could tell I was tired, and said I should go home to bed, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "I don't want to, you can't make me, I want to say here with my h....(I stopped myself, long pause) my many...I want to stay here with my man")...it was so weird how easily it just about rolled off my tongue in the moment.
My older sister has been a gem through all of this. She even took our engagement pictures this weekend... I was fighting a cold (I still am), I didn't feel very pretty, I had a nervous breakdown and my lovely roommate/bridesmaid Lauren calmed me down...but once we started taking pictures all of the bad/gross feelings melted away. Amber kept laughing and telling me and Jeff to stop kissing, we tried....really we did... Bless your heart Amber, and thanks!
Jeff's sister in law Stacy is going to make our wedding cake. We talked about what I wanted, and she laughed and said, "I think it will be just about the easiest wedding cake I've ever made." It was surreal to talk about wedding cakes.
I just feel like I'm floating through this. I want to find a way to stop floating and feel like I'm more present. Maybe I will figure it out, I guess until I do I can try to enjoy this surreal reality that I'm living in.
I promise darlings, I'm not a space cadet, I'm just in love and getting married in 46 days...it will pass...
Hugs and loves until next time!
I guess I just can't help myself.
The last week flew by like a breeze and I'm realizing how fast this week is flying by. Jeff and I feel like its taking forever for our wedding day to get here, on normal days, but today, I'm noticing how much it feels like the world is speeding on around us while we wait. My friend Anna said that this would be how I would feel, but I didn't quite understand what she was talking about until I began to experience it.
Last week, I bought a wedding dress...it was so weird! I guess I had just stopped imagining what it would be like, so when it happened, I had a hard time taking it all in. I thought that I would cry when I found the right dress...like on an episode of 'Say Yes to the Dress' on TLC (one television show that I actually do watch and can get lost in for hours...sad but true.) I found the right dress, I had a hard time deciding between two of them, but my initial "I feel like a bride" reaction won, and I ended up taking home a gorgeous gown that is modern with a vintage vibe. My soon to be mother-in-law Cindy was kind enough this weekend to fit my dress to me, and she worked on the alterations during conference. Every time I put the dress on I had to blink to be sure that it was really happening, that I was really in MY wedding dress...
those words, "my wedding dress," have not been together in a sentence in my head in years.
I feel like I'm living in a dream-like haze. I try to focus on the regular things: school, practicing, and work, but I find myself wishing I could be somewhere else, anywhere else, with Jeff just enjoying this pleasant shift in reality.
Last night we planned our honeymoon...and I almost called him my husband (context: He could tell I was tired, and said I should go home to bed, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "I don't want to, you can't make me, I want to say here with my h....(I stopped myself, long pause) my many...I want to stay here with my man")...it was so weird how easily it just about rolled off my tongue in the moment.
My older sister has been a gem through all of this. She even took our engagement pictures this weekend... I was fighting a cold (I still am), I didn't feel very pretty, I had a nervous breakdown and my lovely roommate/bridesmaid Lauren calmed me down...but once we started taking pictures all of the bad/gross feelings melted away. Amber kept laughing and telling me and Jeff to stop kissing, we tried....really we did... Bless your heart Amber, and thanks!
Jeff's sister in law Stacy is going to make our wedding cake. We talked about what I wanted, and she laughed and said, "I think it will be just about the easiest wedding cake I've ever made." It was surreal to talk about wedding cakes.
I just feel like I'm floating through this. I want to find a way to stop floating and feel like I'm more present. Maybe I will figure it out, I guess until I do I can try to enjoy this surreal reality that I'm living in.
I promise darlings, I'm not a space cadet, I'm just in love and getting married in 46 days...it will pass...
Hugs and loves until next time!
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