Last week, Jeff came home on Tuesday with some bad news. At the end of the day, his bosses called him into their office and laid him off.
Jeff wasn't surprised. He knew the company was bleeding money and had already started looking for other jobs, but, with the way they had been talking, he thought he had 3 to 6 months more before they would give him the ax...so in this respect, it was a complete shock.
We have been scrambling ever since.
Jeff was very calm up until this week when the company here in Logan that he was banking on hiring him because of how they had acted when he sent his resume in sent him a "thanks but, no thanks email."
I was pretty much in and out of tears all week last week and I definitely needed General Conference... (I am LDS, every 6 months at the beginning of April and October, we don't have our regular church meetings. Instead, we watch addresses from our church leaders via television (if you live in a place that offers it. Here in Idaho, we can watch on good old Channel 8, our ABC affiliate), streaming on the internet, or satellite at the church. These addresses have no themes, the leaders pray and give the talk that they feel inspired to give. )
I was eternally grateful for President Uchtdorf and Elder Holland's addresses.
President Uchtdorf talked about waiting in the darkness for a sliver of light to direct you on your path. While his address wasn't about my current trial. It resonated with me...and I bawled like a baby all through Elder Holland's address... he talked about faith.
"In moments of fear, doubt or troubling times. Hold the ground you have already won, even if that ground is limited...Hold fast to what you already know and stand strong until knowledge comes...The size of your faith and the degree of your knowledge is not the issue...You have more faith than you think you do...Belief is the first step to conviction."
I keep reminding myself of this. Yes, I still have my teary moments where I freak out and wonder where the light is, but I know it will come, because we have been promised it will. Jesus said he would never leave us comfortless. Nephi promised that the tender mercies of the Lord are upon all those who believe in him....so I am choosing to believe and move forward.
After this last week, we have pretty much exhausted all of our resources to find a job here in Cache Valley. This is odd considering what a mecca for electronics and manufacturing this area is, but, alas, my husband is either over qualified and they don't want to pay him the higher pay grade so they choose to wait for another candidate with less schooling and certifications, or he doesn't have enough "field experience" on the job.
Thursday morning, we thought for sure we were moving to Orem, UT, only to have the company call us back and say that they really didn't think they could offer a wage that would tempt Jeff to come their way- they wouldn't even give us a number to crunch to see if we could make it work...Since then, it seems like we are being dragged towards Boise.
Jeff has had several call backs since Thursday, all of them from VERY interested parties in Boise that want to hire him.
As much as we don't want to leave Cache Valley, we are trying to be faithful and go where the Lord is leading us.
If we did end up in Boise, it wouldn't be the end of the world. Its still similar to where we both grew up in some ways. My brother is there and we can live close to him in Kuna (a suburb of Boise) so we can still have the "country" setting that we both desire to raise our kids in, while having the benefits of a job in a metropolitan area.
All I can say is: Please pray for us.
Nothing is carved in stone yet. We have had offers to have offers based off of Jeff filling out paperwork, and a lot of companies saying they would call us back when they can give us a number to work with salary wise...
My biggest fear is that we won't have an offer before we're out of money to make the move. Jeff's last severance check from his employer will come this week. Already, if Jeff takes a job in Boise, we will have to rely on the kindness of family and friends to let him crash for a few weeks until he gets his first paycheck so we can afford to rent an apartment there...and if we don't have the money, that couple of weeks could turn into a month or a little longer.
The Lord has been good to us, and I know he will continue to be if we remain faithful, prayerful, and vigilant.
Instead of being outright depressed like I was last week, there is a glimmer of hope...I am starting to see the light. I don't know where that light is going to lead me or my family, but I have faith that, wherever that place is, we will be blessed to get there in as easy a way as possible.
This song at the end of this has been in my mind since conference. It has brought me a lot of comfort and peace to think of it.
To those of you who are struggling as well, hold on- the light will come....maybe not as fast as you would like it, but remember that God has a plan for you. Your timing may not be the same as His. A wise Bishop once said, "The Lord will drag us kicking and screaming from one blessing to the next if he has to." I am choosing to look at this struggle as a blessing in disguise. We will come out of it stronger, better, and closer to God if we are willing to listen to what He would like us to do. THE LIGHT WILL COME! I promise. Don't give up. (Believe me, I am saying this to myself on a daily basis. I'm not perfect at it yet- I think faith is a tool you won't fully grasp until the end of your days in this life.) You have more faith than you think you do. Stand your ground with what faith you have and the Lord will make up the difference.