Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Weekend of Waste...

Okay...so without going too much into the events of the weekend, I will just say that I am annoyed and a slight bit peturbed still....

I went to the Metropolitan Opera Auditions in Spokane, WA over the weekend. The Mets are usually an enriching and exciting experience; this weekend, however, was filled with confusion and disappointment. I had amazing audience feedback, my teacher got teary eyed and I felt pretty good about how I'd done (the only thing that was making me upset was that they didn't ask for a second aria...but then again, half of the people were in the same boat as me.)

The coordinator had given the judges some bad instructions and they were trying to save time by not asking for a second aria, but it left those of us who weren't asked to sing a second aria at a disadvantage(in other words, all of the winners got a chance to redeem themselves by singing a second aria). The piano was up at full staff and none of us had had the opportunity to test the acoustics of the room in advance...usually they ASK if you want the piano up at half or full staff, or if you want the staff up at all and everyone gets an opportunity to atleast hum in the hall and figure out how to adjust your voice. I was willing to over look these things, until I talked to the judges and got totally contradictory feedback and told in so many words that I pretty much suck...they had NOTHING encouraging to say NOTHING, it was all negative and mean and nit picky and harsh...

Well, needless to say, the word on the street is that the coordinator in Spokane has been "let go" and the auditions will be returning to Missoula next year to the hands of people who know what they are doing and how to give everyone a fair chance. I'm still a little peturbed. I had amazing audience feedback and I felt that I had performed a personal best at the Mets and it felt like, in talking to the judges, I was being fed to the wolves. I'm also not a confrontational person, so when my voice instructor and his wife (the head of the voice department here at UM) asked if I had tried to stick up for myself, all I could do was shake my head... I didn't feel like I needed to rationalize my performance to someone who had already formed a negative opinion about me. I simply shook their hands and thanked them for their input... but apparently they didn't have anything nice to say to anyone...

Oh well, its a learning experience, right? Who knows where I will be next year...I've been given a few very solid job offers to stay here in the Missoula area (if I stay I'm moving to Stevensville, there is a stronger LDS community there and a different singles ward...plus a change of scenery to the Bitteroot couldn't hurt, its amazingly beautiful out there) I also know that I could go on a mission if I wanted to, but there is still the issue of student loan debt that makes me a little nervous to do so right away. I also know that BYU-I is still a viable option and that Christine Czinsky (a world famous soprano who happens to teach adjunct there) would love to have me. WE shall see...I'm taking it all in stride and one step at a time.

Perhaps this weekend will be something I can look back on and be glad for later. Right now, I'm just annoyed and confused. I thought I had made so much progress in the last few months and now I feel like dirt. Oh well, c'est la vie...time to make some lemonade cuz I have a whole barrel full of lemons!

CHEERS! : ) Hugs and Loves until next time!

2 comments:

WrayFam said...

I am so sorry this weekend was so awful. I know what it is like to pour your whole heart and soul into something only to be rejected and cast down but I have also learned a very valuble lesson. Come a little closer and I will tell you my secret, closer, closer, okay a little too close, just right. Okay so I am going to refer you to 1st Nephi I believe. I was guided to this scripture after losing our first baby. In short the scripture discusses the fall of Adam and Eve and how, although it was bad it was also a blessing. Without their fall we would never have the blessing of knowing the bitter from the sweet. What an awesome blessing to go through both hard and good times. Without going through dissappointment and sorrow we would never know what happiness or joy is. Imagine how sad it would be to go through life never feeling any emotion because we would have nothing to compare bad or good too. The one thing you can take from this trial is that when the great things happen in your life you will be so much happier and you will be more humbled. You will be able to pick out the sweet moments in your life and show more gratitude to your Father in Heaven. This trial is actually a spiritual blessing. I love you and I still think you are the worlds best singer. I think we need to get you a nursing career so that you can sing all of the new precious babies to sleep :) Love you tons!

Tenise said...

I'm sorry it went like that. From my husband's met audition experiences, I've seen how subjective it could be. At his last one (a couple years ago) Michael Ballam was positive that DH would be going to New York, and thought he did amazing, as did one of the judges, the other two really didn't like him much at all. Opera is a weird world. I've heard people who I thought were amazing, and I've been told how horrible they are, and people who aren't that great, they say are good. It makes me wonder who "they" are anyway to make the decisions.

BTW, my husband studies with Norm and Kris! Good luck with all the decisions you have to make. Just keep yourself close to the Lord, and the right path will open itself up for you, as the other ones will kind of close. :)