Monday, October 15, 2007

AHHHHHH the power of...not being sick!


Ahhh the power of.... not being sick! Hello all you bloggeriffic peoples! Well, let me start this blog by telling you all that for the last 2 weeks I have been sick as a dog. I actually stayed home from school- this is huge considering that as a music major you learn early on to believe that it is the end of the world and that everyone will die if you don't come to school...but I decided that prevention in this case would be key. I have the Metropolitan Opera Auditions on the 28th of October and I can't afford to be ill. I want to succeed this year rather than just suck...not that I do, but for some reason in my last 2 attempts at the Met, I've found reasons that I completely suck...but moving right along...So now I am no longer ill- go me! I had a somewhat disappointing voice lesson today, I don't know what it is, I just felt off...but then I went to opera rehearsal and rocked everyone's world- oh well, you win some, you lose some.

I have to say that I am so grateful for friends. While I was sick it seemed like they weren't in short supply, this is something I'm not used to, but it is something that I loved. My friend Aneta (and my office mate, we share!) brought me some lovely, delicious Polish Chicken soup (she is from Poland, so it was authentic.) and my friends Joel, Luke, and Reinet called me to check in and make sure I wasn't dead...and my "husband" (well, he isn't yet, but if I get my way...and I always do...) Seth called me everyday and demanded that I stay in bed. He forbade me to cook- which is huge considering that more often than not you'll find me in a kitchen if I'm not locked away in a practice room somewhere. It was such a blessing.

I am trying really hard to notice the little things that enrich my life and make it so great. In fact, why don't I go ahead and share with you all my first happy thought of the day- the first blessing that I recognized...this morning as I walked up Poplar street towards Van Buren street on my way to school, I noticed how many autumn leaves were everywhere...I had to chuckle to myself, they were so deep that you couldn't see my feet and my mind wandered back to days gone by, days when my dad and mom would be trying to rake the leaves up in our front yard on Coachman Drive and the exhilaration as my brother, two sisters, and I conspired to jump in the piles at the most opportune moment...all of a sudden I wanted to find a rake and make a huge pile, I wanted to dive into the brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows and make leaf angels (so much better than snow angels because you don't get cold and wet...)

And that is when it hit me...Thank God for my wonderful family and the years I got to spend making fantastic vivid memories like that, thank God that I am not sick anymore and can feel the crunch of these leaves under my feet, thank God I'm ALIVE... that I can still make wonderful memories and experience this beautiful Autumn time.

Autumn has always been my favorite season, maybe it is because my birthday is in the Autumn and I just like the fact that I can be selfish and focus on me me me , but I think the real reason is that Fall is the time that I have the most happy childhood memories, most of the memories of my dad are in the Autumn...I miss him so much around this time that it hurts. I wish he could be here to experience this beautiful time with me, that he could find that rake for me and rake all the leaves up and pretend to be upset when I ruin his perfect pile. I know that he is all around me, that he watches me and is proud of me, but I wish I could hear him, see him, and feel him. I wish he could be here to make new memories and help me to remember old ones.

I am so lucky to be alive, I am so lucky to be able to feel...even if it is a bittersweet kind of pain that it is that I'm feeling, it is in realizing your feelings, in accepting and acknowledging how God blesses you every day that you know how truly alive you are. I've never used drugs but I would imagine that there is no greater high than the high you get when you see just how much help you get from all around you every day.

I am so lucky to be able to make new memories, to be able to meet new people, make new friends and forge ahead through life- ready to tackle everything.

So, do me a favor bloggers, take a minute to acknowledge and see the little blessings in your life, even if it is something as small as being grateful for the crunch of Autumn leaves under your feet...it always leads to the recognition of blessings in your life that are bigger and greater. After you've taken note of this little blessing take a deep breath, and thank the Lord for that little blessing and acknowledge how lucky you are to be alive to experience it.

We are SOOOO lucky, we get to live...we get to grow and become better...we get the opportunity to be more than we are. OWN THAT! Accept it, embrace it and move forward!
Onward and upward.

Hugs and kisses until next time, I'll be rooting for you all.

3 comments:

Lanae said...

Hey Brittany! This is Justin & Lanae Wadsworth and we randomly found Amber's blog and now we have found yours through hers. Visit us and look around.

WrayFam said...

Britz- I love you. Thanks for the memories. I had a miniature flashback just now. I miss dad too. I miss him alot and I needed that memory. I too am thankful to be alive, after almost dying last year, it woke me up. I am thankful for my kids and sticky fingers with chocolate. I am thankful for hugs and kisses, and sweet primary songs. We love you!

Justin said...

Hey Britannica or Britster are you cool or what. I'm greatful to have you as a niece. Thank you!!