Watching as my belly moves back and forth...its slightly painful each time because literally it moves from side to side as baby rocks back and forth.
I'm pretty much exhausted. I just woke up not long ago from a nap that lasted about an hour and a half and I feel like it did some good, but not enough.
However, in spite of my shape shifting belly, I sit here and think that life is pretty darn good. It could be so much worse, really. I am so grateful. Somehow, God in his mercy continues to bless me and life seems to plod ahead.
There is so much uncertainty in my life right now...will my husband graduate in December? will he be able to get a job (because we hear every day how hopeful to be on that front *sarcastic face and tone*) will my baby be healthy? on and on the questions can come....
So many questions, so many "what ifs?"
But, the more I sit here, the more I think of all the really wonderful things that continue to happen, I think of all the little ways that God blesses me and I choose to feel peace. I choose to not allow myself to be bogged down and concerned by all the "what ifs". I think of what IS, and I have the overwhelming feeling that no matter what happens, we will be taken care of.
I know without a doubt, if we continue to follow the council of the Lord given to us by his servants the prophets that we can weather any storm. I know if we follow he law of tithing, we will be able to find and open the windows of heaven and receive all the blessings we could ever want and need.
God is a loving father. He may not bless us with our heart's desire right away, but sure as I sit here and watch my morphing belly, He will always make sure we have what we need.
I also know we can't leave it all up to God. I know that we need to be making wise choices, spiritually, financially, and physically in order to be able to receive what He wants to bless us with. We can't go on a shopping spree, spending money that we don't have and then pray for and expect God to fix our financial situations when they become dire...we have to be willing to do part of the work.
Yes- God performs miracles. Through His power Christ was able to heal the sick and afflicted, and that healing continues today through his Holy Priesthood...however, in order to receive a miracle we need to BE a miracle. We can't be afraid of standing up for what we believe in, we can't be afraid to make hard decisions...
whether that decision is to move to another country or state to take a job in our field, or whether that decision is to forge ahead and grow our families in spite of economic turmoil because we know we've been directed to do so... our actions need to be worthy of those miracles.
So...I sit...I forge ahead...I work to do His will...I look for His blessings, and I allow myself to be grateful.
I think of how much worse any situation could be as I look at the trials of those around me and the trials of others that are showcased by the media....I then realize that I wouldn't want to trade my trials with anyone else. Heavenly Father knows what we can handle, he also knows when to test us.
Someday I will have the faith of Abraham, who took his son into the mountains to turn him into an offering at the Lord's request only to have the Lord stay his hand and tell him that he had passed....I don't know if my faith is to that level.
I do what I can. I just make sure I try a little harder each day to listen and do what I'm directed to do by the spirit...even if it scares me or I don't understand why.
We don't always need the "Why" at first...we just need to know that a "Why" exists, and will be revealed to us at the right time.
So...here I sit...
Hugs and Loves until next time darlings!