Since people complain.....GEEZ....

Hey all-

Well I've had some complaints that I haven't updated in a while...apparently people enjoy my frazzled and crazy view on life (who knew???!!!!)

So...the biggest news is that I moved home with my parental unit for the rest of the summer. I had been in great debate about this issue for a while due to the fact that I had to basically see my ex everywhere...we're cool, I'm not mad at him and he wants to be friends...so you ask- what is the problem? The problem is I apparently am turning into a crazy ex girlfriend and have found it almost impossible to turn off my feelings for him...go figure- I guess someone in the family needed to be crazy... Well, at any rate...that wasn't the final decision for the big move- in fact, I didn't want to move home and feel like I was running away from my problems, I wanted to face them like a real woman- with lots of chick flicks and a simultaneous affair with two men one called Ben, the other Jerry... No, God made the final decision...funny story...

So, I was going home for the weekend for Holly and Aaron's baby shower in Idaho Falls and I finally had had enough...I was sick of being sick. For the last year and a half I have been putting on a brave face and have not been complaining about several big health issues that I knew meant Bad News Bears...mostly because every time I went to a doctor about them they looked at me like I was taking crazy pills and gave me a pill that was supposed to solve the problem and sent me on my way...so I did what any normal (well semi-normal, we've already established that I'm crazy) grown woman would do...I called my nurse of an older sister and complained... maybe she looked at me like I was taking crazy pills ( I couldn't tell, she was on the other end of the phone line....) but she agreed to make an appointment with this new Nurse Practitioner that she introduced me to and I absolutely love.

So that was the prologue, here is the story. Its Sunday night, I'd just finished a conversation with my parents and my awesome brother about my thoughts of moving home so I wouldn't have to deal with seeing my adorable, gorgeous too pretty for me ex...(I told ya, crazy!!!!!) and they all were in agreement...moving home would be in essence running away from my problems...they basically said I needed another reason that was bigger or better because I just needed to grow up and suck it up and get over it like a woman should (see the aforementioned prescription...Ben and Jerry and chick flicks, what a beautiful combo!) So I went to bed and before I lay my perfectly coiffed hair and clean face on my pillow I decided to pray, in this prayer I said "Heavenly Father...I don't want to move home if it means I'm running away...if I'm supposed to move home give me another reason..." Well, I didn't even consider that I was going to the doctor...in fact, I had quite reserved myself to the fact that I was most likely going to be told that I was a hypochondriac and needed to be put in a psyche ward...I just thought that I would have it dawn on me in the morning- I thought I would just magically have a good reason come to me....Well, it came and it wasn't so magical...

Sooooo....Amber went with me (because that is what nursely older sisters love to do!) and we're sitting in the doctor's office and I'm telling my NP all of my symptoms and she's nodding her head and instead of the crazy face she has a different look- a look of concern... Long story short- after all the math was done with my symptoms it didn't spell healthy (okay I know math and spelling don't normally mix, but in my crazy world I say they do!) In essence, my extended periods of hypertension ( known to the common man as high blood pressure) an infection I'd been dealing with for a year, and my insulin resistance finally put some fire under a doctor's bum! She basically said that her concern was that the insulin resistance was no longer a metabolic syndrome but Diabetes and that my kidneys were malfunctioning because of it, leading to high blood pressure and my body's inability to fight infection! She basically said, that, even without laboratory work, I was one sick little girl and while I didn't exactly have to move home, she had a feeling that for the next few months she needed to be able to keep a close eye on me while I tried to get my blood pressure under control and learn how to deal with my metabolic syndrome more correctly.

Go me! I ask God to take one trial away-dealing with the one that ran away, far far far far away- and he says "Okay Britt, I'll let you move home if that is what you want, but here- take this brand new shiny trial and deal with that!" I'm not complaining- I'm actually kind of happy that I found out what was wrong. Now I can deal with it, get stronger and healthier, and I can laugh in the face of all the doctors who gave me a pill and sent me on my way (after giving me crazy face...)

So- the results are in...my metabolic syndrome isn't Diabetes (yet) however, I was about two points away from Diabetes...and the doc was very happy to hear that I was going to be closer for the rest of the summer so she could moniter my progress. I am now on a pill...a wonder pill apparently, that makes my body metabolize sugar- because, lucky me, it doesnt, and I'll be on it for the rest of my life... but I have to be at a rather large dose and the side effects that you deal with as you gradually raise the dose to a treatment level are not pretty or fun...I won't elaborate, just trust me. I also have to meet with a dietician...the doc says my diet sounds pretty close to what they'll ask me to do, but there are a few new things that they've discovered about metabolic syndrome in the last few years that make your treatment more effective. As for my kidneys- yes, they are being effected, which is why the high blood pressure is going on...but the doc says that once my sugars are under control and I lose about 10 pounds that should go away (hopefully, especially given my family history) Funny side note...apparently my cholestorol level is too low....I didn't even know that is possible, but apparently it is...that's right, I have low cholestorol- don't get too excited...it doesn't mean I get to go out and eat french fries and onion rings...it means that I need to start taking a fiber supplement....which I was actually already doing- so not much change there. I also need to be checking my blood sugar- so I have a handy dandy glucometer (not quite as cool as the Blue's Clues notebook, but I'm sure I can decorate it or something... and it records stuff, that's cool...right?)

So...yeah...I'm home and I'm on my way to being healthy. We hope....I'm also nannying for Amber this summer, painting posts at the apartment complex and taking on odd jobs here and there- all not really because I need to, but because I have to not be sitting around all day or I'll feel like I'm wasting this opportunity to find ways to do something more than fulfill my life long wish of sitting around all day with Ben and Jerry and General Hospital. I'm having fun and enjoying an opportunity to get closer to the fam...which I didn't think was possible...but yes it is...
apparently...

I use that word a lot... apparently...hmmm....a new quirk to add to the bucket 'o quirks...good times.

Well, that's about as updated as it gets...if something new or exciting happens I'll let you know...but apparently (hmmm another one) you people enjoy the boring and droll happenings in the world of the Brittany...I'm honored and flattered...really...

Hugs and Loves until next time- Diva OUT!

Am I good???? No, I'm amazing!!!!!

So, here it is y'all, my brand spankin' new handbag, sewn by hand, by me in about 2 days! I even made my own pattern, how good am I????

Uhhh....yeah...

Hey Y'all-

Here I am, back in the blogosphere...

Not much to report...its summertime and all the things that I thought were going to happen are not going to happen, but that is okay- I'm working on figuring out where I am supposed to be and that is a good for me.

I'm just going to say it- I was engaged for 3 wonderful months to the most wonderful guy I've ever met- although it was unofficial because he kept finding excuses not to go get the ring we picked out- plans were on the backburner for a July or August wedding and he changed his mind...all I have to say is getting your heart broken sucks big time! I thought I'd found my happy beginning (that's right, beginning, because we all know that fairytales shouldn't end when the damsel finds her prince charming- there is so much more to the story) I guess the worst part is that he even admits that I was the perfect girlfriend and that he is crazy to let me go, but he had to because he just isn't ready and doesn't want to be unfair to me...

Well, life goes on and plans change...I'm dealing with it and trying to move forward, its been difficult but I have been so fortunate to find good friends and have family to support me and help me to come up with ideas on how to continue to move forward. There are many ideas buzzing around in my head, I have no clue where I'm going, but I guess I have to have faith and let God lead me by the hand. I have a testimony of the importance of and the need for a strong relationship with our Father in Heaven, I have needed him so much and he has always been there for me. This doesn't mean that I have it all figured out, but I am working on it.

So, what am I doing with myself? I'll have to say that reassimilating to single life has been difficult. I was basically with my ex every day for 3 months (he even followed me home for spring break!) I've found that things are a lot easier if I keep busy. I am working as a respite aid for a sweet lady here in Missoula. I work with her 5 year old daughter who has downsyndrome and cerebral palsy. It is so nice to go somewhere and forget about myself and my problems for a little bit. I change diapers, watch to make sure she doesn't overstimulate herself because she vomits if she does. I have also watched almost every episode from seasons 1 and 2 of the Muppet show (her favorite) and have fetched a ball about 15 million times (her having me chase around after it is her version of playing catch.) I'm learning sign language to work with her because she doesn't have much ability to speak. She understands what you are saying when you talk to her, but she can't voice back what she wants and needs- she knows all the important signs- movie, ball, and bedtime! She is so cute and it has been such a pleasure to work with her.

I have also been spending time trying to discover more about Missoula. The more time I spend out and about, the more I find things that I like. Missoula is very much like Europe- I know Montana and Europe, who would have made that connection? I like to shop around in the Downtown area, there are tons of cute little shops with lots to see and everyone just parks their cars and walks- which is very much like Europe- there are also street musicians everywhere- not just guitar players (like you might find in any other town) but string quartets, a cello player, and a little concert band- very very European, if you don't believe me, just go to any old town center in Germany or the Czech Republic! This last Saturday I had the opportunity to go out for a girls day with my friend Kimmie. We went to the farmer's market (fresh produce and veggies straight from the source, another European connection because that is what they do in Germany, you don't get much produce from the store, you always go to the farmer's market on the weekends) and then we went to the people's market, which reminded me so much of Prague, it made me remember why I would have no problem living in Europe some day if I had to. I bought three cute headbands from this girl that makes recycled clothing...

Okay, so you're probably wondering, what is recycled clothing? This girl goes to thrift stores and good will and buys t-shirts and other fabrics and cuts them up to make something new and chic...she had the cutest skirts made out of old t-shirts! I almost bought one, but I'd only brought $40 with me and it was $28- yep, I'm kind of a cheapskate. But, all of that ingenuity has given me a stroke of creativity. I have wanted a new handbag for a while, but I haven't been able to find one that I like. I saw tons at the people's market, but they were ridiculously overpriced and I was like "you know, I could probably go to JoAnn fabric or Wal-Mart and buy the stuff to make a handbag that I would really like all by myself for like $5!" So that is exactly what I am going to do. I am going to buy some posterboard and try to concoct a pattern based off of the handbags I saw at the market...I may crash and burn horribly, or I may come out with something cool and one of a kind- who knows, maybe I could buy a bunch of stuff if it turns out well and pay the $10 to get a booth spot at the people's market and sell my own for cheaper and make tons of money as an up and coming handbag designer!

I have a lot to look forward to, but at the same time, I have been wanting to put my tail between my legs and run home for the rest of the summer. However, as Donna Summer would sing I WILL SURVIVE! I have a lot of decisions to make, and I will certainly keep you all posted on what is up...

As far as my plans to take out my temple endowments are concerned...I finally went to the Bishop about it last Tuesday (I have been single for a month and I felt like I would be making that big step for the right reasons rather than out of spite because I'm no longer engaged) but, despite his earlier assessment that I would definitely be able to take them out by the beginning of the summer (which was before I started dating my ex) he now feels like I need to wait a little longer. Which sucks, I'm not going to lie, I feel ready...but he is the bishop and he knows and understands things that I don't...so I'm okay with it...I guess it just gives me some more time to figure out my place in this world...

Well, lets sum things up- getting your heart broken sucks, I'm enjoying my job, Missoula is like Europe, and I am going to become the next big handbag designer...uhhh...maybe...

Well, Hugs and Loves! I miss you all!