Meal Plan and Update

Yes... we're alive.

I wish I had more time to blog this week, but between unpacking the new house, trying to keep 2 toddlers happy, making time for therapy, and my husband being out of town, I have been more than a little exhausted  busy....

I do have a meal plan for you all, but haven't had time to find links for you. Many of the recipes I'm using are either ones that I've made so many times that I just instinctively remember how to make it, so I haven't had to go trolling on Pinterest for new ideas like I normally do. I will post the list and you can find recipes for yourselves this time and I promise that the next one will be complete with where to find the recipe, deal?  DEAL!

1. Teriyaki Chicken (you can type this into the search query at the top of the screen (I think that is where it is) and find my recipe for this. Its one of my husband's favorite things, so I make it often.)

2. Crock Pot Chicken Bacon Cheese and Tater Tot Casserole (Pinterest, my friends, look for it there. Its soooooo worth it.)

3. Breakfast for Dinner (make whatever your family likes best. My husband makes really good breakfast potatoes, so we had this before he left. We had his hashed brown potatoes, sausage and eggs.)

4. Tacos

5. Baked Chicken Nuggets (Six Sister's Stuff)

6. Creamy Pesto Chicken Pasta (Pinterest)

7. Countryside Pasta Toss (Pinterest)

8. French Bread Pizza (Pinterest)

9. Alice Springs Chicken (food.com)

10. P.F. Changs Crispy Honey Chicken (food.com)

11. Honey Glazed Grilled Chicken (Six Sister's Stuff)

12. Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki Subs (Pinterest)

13. Ham Tailgating Sandwiches (Pinterest)

14. Applebee's Crispy Orange Chicken (Pinterest)

Again, forgive that there are no links this go round...but at least I told you where I found the recipes!:)

Faith is adjusting well to the move. She likes having her own room. She has,however, figured out doorknobs since we've moved here. I have to make sure that the doors are dead bolted so she doesn't get outside, and, since my husband is out of town and I have no car to go purchase toddler knob guards, I had my sweet father in law come over and switch her doorknob around so that I can lock her in her room at bedtime and naptime...I hate doing it, but when I don't she just keeps coming out of her room expecting to play and do whatever she wants and, sadly, she desperately needs her nap...  don't judge! I tormented over whether or not to lock her in all night last night, but safety is the real issue. If, when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she decided to leave her room and go for a little walk, she could get herself into some seriously dangerous situations if I'm not watching. I'd rather lock her in than wake up in the morning and find her hurt or worse. I know that things will be better once we get the knob guards. She will be all together safer because it will be one less step to get to her if she is in danger, and I won't have to feel guilty about locking her in. Its one of the many times that I wish she understood simple commands and I could tell her to stay in her room and she would get it like any other almost 3 year old. I plan on asking her therapists about whether or not I'm doing the right thing or if there is a better way to teach her not to leave her room.\

Phillie hated having her own room at first, but she has started adjusting.  She has had issues jumping on her bed and bouncing herself off the mattress onto the floor since we put her in her own room, but I think my bed jumping monkey is starting to catch on that its not such a good idea.

It seems as if splitting them up  was a good thing. They are both sleeping better at naptime and are waking up fewer times in the middle of the night. Faith still has sensory issues waking up, but we are finding that since she is waking up on her own instead of having Phillie wake her up, the tears and screaming are much shorter lived and she is able to adjust to being awake much faster... my theory is that before, when Phillie would wake her, sensory input came all at once. Now, she sleeps the amount she needs and is able to wake up more gradually, giving her more time to adjust.

Well, I will leave you there with our update.  I will post a video of the new house once we're all unpacked. Don't expect anything glamorous...we're still living our "college chic" life because we can't really afford new decorations or to refinish the furniture we have...,my house won't be making a Pinterest pin anytime soon, or the cover of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine... Maybe someday I will have time to get crafty and won't have toddlers to destroy my work...LOL

Hugs and loves until next time, darlings...

P.S. Not sure if I posted this here yet or not...baby#3 is another princess....Jeff's first response after we left the ultra sound? " We're DEFINITELY getting a dog now...a BOY dog...I need something to keep me from being outnumbered."  The gummy bear is pink...we're working on a name....sadly, we have agreed on all of our boy names from day 1 of our marriage, but girl names are just not something we agree on quickly or easily...We have a short list but so far, neither of us is in love with the same name at the same time...

Shine on

Today was a trying day...

A day where I found myself unable to hold it together...

A day where I had to excuse myself from my screaming, raging, 2 year old and go into the bathroom to cry for 10 or so minutes in order to keep composure and a cool head.

Our Little Diva was definitely "on one" today, for lack of a better phrase. Lately, I've noticed that she isn't sleeping at night. I will go into her room to attend to her weepy little sister (we're getting the rest of our teeth in) and she is just sitting up in her bed, wide awake, staring back at me.

Last night, I decided to check to see if she was going back to sleep after I put her back down when I was finished with the teething monster in the bed next to her...sure enough, I'd wait 20 or so minutes and go back in and, every time I would check, there she was, sitting up, quietly, wide awake just waiting for the sun.  I'm not sure how much sleep she is getting, but it definitely is disconcerting. She is so little that the doctors don't recommend the "normal" course of action for sleep aiding Autistic kids (things like Melatonin or prescribed sleep pills).

Today we seemed to have full on melt downs about everything under the sun. I was bitten, pinched, kicked and slapped in the face more times than I could count...and poor Phillie ended up with a bloody nose after being on the receiving end of Faith's massive melt down tantrum for one reason or another (to be honest, I really couldn't tell you what the majority of them were about. She was incredibly unhappy, over stimulated, and anything that didn't go the way she wanted to would set her off)

Its days like today that I cling to those short lived moments of "normal"...Faith dancing the "hot dog" dance along with Mickey and the gang at the end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Faith laughing hysterically as Winnie the Pooh climbs up the honey tree singing about the "rumbly in his tumbly" and his subsequent fall after spitting bees out of his mouth like bullets...these are the things that get me through. These are the things that remind me that my sweet little girl does exist most of the time. I am able to try to think of these things, or find ways to divert her attention long enough so that I can see that my sweet little girl is still in there, she is just having a REALLY rough day.

I was half tempted to cancel our session with our Autism Therapist today. She was so volatile, I was concerned that today's session would even be worth it.

In the end, I forced my tired and sore self through the session. I'm kind of glad I did.

Our Autism Therapist has never REALLY seen Faith in full on melt down mode...to be honest, I was beginning to wonder if they thought I was exaggerating when I would describe some of the tantrums we had...

The AT arrived right as Faith was waking up from a MUCH needed nap (she only slept for about 45 minutes, but it was a much needed 45 minute break, that is for sure)...and she got to experience Faith in the "melting down as I wake up mode".  She was absolutely perplexed to witness it first hand.  We finally calmed her enough to do a few therapy related things, but it didn't take much to set Faith off into tantrum mode.  Our AT is so amazing and patient with her. She laughed off the times that Faith would melt down because she touched her to try to tickle her or she took away something that Faith was overly focused on... I wish I could always be that amazing and patient...I'm working on it, but I'm definitely a work in progress.

In the end, the session was probably more productive for me than for Faith. I got some good advice about how to deal with her tendency to pick "catch all" signs and words (she picked up the word "go" in a recent speech therapy session, but unfortunately uses it EVERY TIME she wants anything...since she isn't using the word in the right context, it just furthers her confusion when it comes to communication and we kind of need to nip it in the bud.)  The AT said that I need to push her and wait for a sound other than the word "go" when we're working on communication (asking for items to be handed to her, more snacks, drinks, etc.) and continue to repeat the right word we want her to say after she makes a different sound, even if its just adding a syllable or different consonant sound...let's just say that didn't go over well with the Little Diva during her therapy session and finally our AT started to instruct me to hand over the item she was giving me the "go" for if she melted down for longer than 20 seconds (the LONGEST 20 second intervals I will ever live...I swear!)

At the end of our session, we talked about ways to help her be more active in nursery and to meet the same standards of the other kids in her class on Sunday. Our ward just called new nursery leaders, and while they are much more open to Faith's needs than the old ones (the old ones didn't even want me to come into the room and would bring Faith to me when she had a melt down, instructing me not to bring her back). Unfortunately, the new nursery leaders just don't really understand the complex needs that Faith has. They've already lost her a few times when she's been able to bolt from the room when parents come to pick up their kids early. We've started going to nursery again (they welcome our help with her) after we teach our class, and while I am grateful that they try to treat Faith like any of the other kids in the room, its hard to watch them get frustrated with her when she doesn't respond to their simple commands like the other kids her age do, or to watch them be upset because she won't sit still on the floor mats for singing time or the lesson.  We got some good suggestions from the AT for how to help her meed the demands that the rest of the kids have and for ways to approach Faith's needs with the nursery leaders so they can feel like they're in charge and we're just there to help be catalysts for success at getting Faith to actively participate and behave like she should.

Before she left we also discussed the AT finding ways to help us help Faith visualize "waiting time" if we can't do something she wants right away (like going outside to play or getting her a sippy) to hopefully cut down on the tantrums and melt downs. We've been dealing with a lot of "I want it now" type situations where we are either still trying to figure out what she wants or we know what she wants, but it can't be done or given to her right away. She says she has some things we can do that will help and she will have that ready for our next session. While today's session wasn't perfect, it was somewhat fruitful, and for that, I'm grateful.

To have a day like today, with melt down after melt down, in the midst of our impending move has definitely NOT been the most fun thing I've experienced (to say the least) but I will say I am grateful for days like today...it is days like today that remind me that I need to be even more present for those little moments of "normal" so I have more to cling to...days like today remind me to count my blessings...days like today remind me that its okay to ask for advice and help from people and the resources I've been given...and its days like today that give me opportunities to learn more so I can be a better advocate for Faith in the days ahead.

I should add how grateful I am for  THIS little person on days like today:

It was almost like my sweet Cupcake could sense that things weren't going to change with Faith any time soon. This poor sweetie has been running a fever and miserable for the last few days and today she was a perfect angel.  She even found ways to break me from the stress of the day being her usual goofball self.

She has discovered how to make "air kisses" and at the time I needed them most, she would make eye contact with me and send me a few, with sweet little giggles as I'd send them back.  I put Faith down for a nap on her own and sweet Phillie quietly sat with me and waited for her own naptime. We played games with blocks and puzzles, played the piano, and finally, she snuggled up next to me on the couch to watch Ice Age. She leaned over and laid down and I began to scratch her back. She looked up at me and said "Yuv you" and quietly let me continue to tickle and scratch her back...before I knew it, I looked over and this is how I found her...out like a light. Oh so happy to just be asleep on the couch (even though she really would prefer her bed.)  She finally did wake up about 20 minutes later and cried to go to her bed. I scooped her up, laid her in her bed, and she quietly fell back to sleep....in time for Faith to wake up screaming so I could get her ready for therapy LOL...Phillie slept the whole session and happily went into her daddy's arms when he went to wake her up so we could go to the store.

I am so grateful for Phillie. Even when sissy pushes her, slaps her, and gives her bloody noses, she never gives up. She tries to play with her and show her love.

The only thing that calmed me when I looked down at a 2 month old Faith a little over 2 years ago, realizing that Phillie was on the way was thinking that there had to be a greater purpose for her VERY unplanned arrival in our home...and that purpose has been shown to me time and time again. I needed Phillie to remind me that I'm doing an okay job on the days that I feel like the worst mother on the planet...Faith needed Phillie so she could have a friend with undying love and devotion...WE needed Phillie so we could notice the problems Faith was having and get her the help she needed.  Phillie is patient, Phillie is kind, Phillie is a complete goofball...Phillie is perfectly Phillie and content to wait her turn while we deal with the crazy ebbs and flows of life with her older sister as we work out the best ways to help her.

My biggest fear is that Phillie will not know how loved and appreciated she is... I pray every day for strength and the ability to be the mom that she needs so that she never doubts how desperately she is needed, loved, and how grateful we are that she came to our family to fulfill her special purposes in this life.

God is good. He gives us what we need...and sends us WHO we need to make the what possible. Phillie is truly one of the most special, cherished gifts I have been given.  I pray that I can show her that every day.

Faith will teach me patience and strength, Phillie will teach me how to endure to the end well with hope.

Every day, I find new purposes for these girls in my life...the tough days are days that I have to cry in the bathroom, breathe, and remind myself to go out and look for the lesson I am needing to learn...but I always learn it, they draw it out of me, one way or another it happens.

We will forge ahead, I will make mistakes...and that is okay...as long as there is love, hope, and I do my best to endure it well with patience, no day will ever be a day where I decide its "the worst day ever"... there will only be days where I learn and become better. If the lessons of mortality were easily learned, life would be a very quick test indeed. We need time to be polished to perfection. A hunk of coal doesn't become a diamond overnight- it takes intense heat and pressure.

Its days like today that I am reminded that someday I will shine brighter than I ever could have imagined.

Hugs and Loves until next time, darlings.

High Five for 2013!

I know a lot of people do High Five for Friday posts...and I actually genuinely enjoy reading a few. It is nice to accentuate the positive. We've had a rough, rollercoaster of a year, and I want to be able to look back and think that it was awesome instead of frustrating...because there really were lots of awesome things about 2013 when I sit down to think about it, and the awesome really does trump the crappy, stressful unemployed parts...LOL So, here we go! High Five for 2013! If I could figure out how to set up a link party, I would totally love to read some of your High Fives....I will see if I can figure that out. :)

1. Number one was a frustrating journey, but a necessary one and one that has ended up being a HUGE relief and blessing. I still have my moments of grief and despair, but that is a post for another day (and that day is coming soon, as writing about my frustrations often helps me to find clarity) What is No. 1? We are almost to the end of the diagnosis journey for figuring out what is causing Faith's delays. This journey started in a very frustrating place, and Jeff's unemployment, in an odd way, actually ended up helping to end that frustration and lead us to better help. I am grateful for Early Intervention programs, but the way that Idaho has it set up is kind of a joke, and led to many of my frustrations in the beginning. Here they were, telling me that they agreed with me, and their assessments said that something was wrong, but I wasn't getting the help I needed. Instead of one on one attention with a trained professional in all the areas she needed help, I was given a coach who had an early education degree, who met once a week with a trained professional. Our meetings were often frustrating as I felt like we weren't getting any useful information and it felt like a waste of 1 to 2 hours of my time every week... Jeff's unemployment led us to Rock Springs, WY...and the Wyoming Early Intervention program was leaps and bounds better. We were blessed to work with an AMAZING speech therapist who had been working in the field for 20 years. I felt like I'd learned something at the end of every therapy session, and while Faith's progress wasn't easily coming, the little victories were always celebrated and she did an excellent job of helping me to see the small successes we'd had.  We were on our way to working with an Occupational Therapist when life threw us another curve ball and we ended up back in Cache Valley again, but this time in Logan, UT. The Utah Early Intervention program is every bit as wonderful as the program we left in Wyoming, with the added benefit of an Autism Specialist who really knows her stuff. After going through another month of assessments, we've been able to come to the conclusion that we really, most likely, are dealing with Autism Spectrum Disorder..and the best part is that they are trying to do everything they can to encourage a diagnosis and get it done quickly so we can better understand her needs and find therapies that are targeted for whatever disorder she is diagnosed with on the Autism spectrum. We will soon meet with Audiologists at the university to completely rule out hearing loss as the cause of her issues (and we've pretty much established that she can hear through other assessments. Even after she failed her first OAE exam, she passed the next two...so we have a fairly good idea that she isn't having any issues with hearing).  We will be starting Autism classes in conjunction with therapy that will help us help her to cope in public situations with her sensory issues.  We will start speech therapy again soon, and, hopefully, a diagnosis will give us some better ideas for how to target her therapies.  I know this is not the ending of a journey, but the very beginning of a very long one...but it is the ending of this chapter of the journey and I am grateful for it. If we'd stayed in Idaho, we wouldn't have been able to get her in for a diagnosis until she was three years old!  I can't even imagine how horrible that would have been, and how frustrating. It would have meant she would have had to start preschool with no targeted education plan in place to help her and she would have ended up light years behind the other kids her age...ugh.  We are fortunate that God led us on such a roller coaster this year... the more I think about it, the more I realize that the roller coaster really was a means to finding a HUGE blessing for Faith. Here's to hoping that 2014 leads us to a definitive diagnosis and more marked progress. So far, we've learned the sign for milk, and a modified sign for juice. We are working on thank you and water...I will let you know how that works out...since it took me 6 months to teach her the sign for milk and she still doesn't get the sign for juice right 75% of the time..

2.  We got to spend an awesome year discovering "Silly Phillie"...seriously, the kid is a card! We started the year with "the Hulk"...she was perfectly sweet and wonderful...until you made her angry...you wouldn't like her when she's angry...LOL  but she has morphed into the sweetest little cherub chub with the sweetest mischievous smile on the planet.  We started to meet "Silly Phillie" around her 6 months old mark when daddy decided, for a laugh, to put both girls in the same crib to see how they would react...she responded with an emphatic "GET OUT!" and has been surprising us with her charm and silliness, non- stop ever since. She has since become a master at "The Cosby", a new dance craze that will sweep the nation (anyone who has watched the opening sequence of "The Cosby Show" as a kid will get that reference, if you don't, look it up on Youtube... she dances like Bill Cosby and its HI-larious!)  She has also become a polite little thief. If you have anything that she wants, she has become a master of smiling her little mischievous grin, sweetly saying "Tankooo (thank you)" and ripping it out of your hands...Her new favorite game is also to hand you something, have you ask if she wants it back, and then she says "Tankooo" as she takes it away...then she repeats it....for 45 minutes...she thinks its great...mommy thinks she never thought she would be sick of hearing someone say thank you...LOL.    She also says the most random phrases at the most random times and shocks us with her ability to grasp language...for example she randomly as "Where we goin'?"  as we're walking out to the car...she has learned how to say "no" (something I know I will regret in the coming months), and "hungee (hungry)".   She also loves anything fluffy, cuddly and sparkly. Jeff looks at her and thinks that she will be a tom boy...but the girl loves sequins and sparkles more than anything on the planet...she is also a GREAT shopping buddy. Nothing makes her happier than pulling things she likes into the cart and saying how "pitty (pretty)" they are.   Good luck parting her from her "pitty" things...she still hulks out better than the best of them... 2014 will be the year of changes for our "Silly Phillie"...we have started to see that she really is kind of spoiled. For example, she didn't start walking until a month ago, but not because she couldn't walk...no, she refused to walk because, like the princess she is, she prefers to be carried.  Jeff finally cured her of her inability to walk by forcing her to hold his hand and walk almost every time we went somewhere as a family...she quickly decided she would rather be able to walk on her own than have dad drag her everywhere.  Fortunately, in spite of being kind of spoiled, she has started to want to be a little helper...and hopefully this will come in handy come June/July...which leads us to No. 3...

3.  We found out that baby #3, lovingly deemed "gummy bear", is on his/her way.  I will share that there were months of wondering if we'd be able to have a #3.  I shared a few years ago that I was diagnosed in high school with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and had been told that I would likely never have children, and if I did, it would be a miracle.  Around Phillie's 5-6 month mark, I started feeling like someone was missing...I know...its crazy. I still had an infant in the house... but I couldn't help the feeling...and every time I tried to push it away, it only got stronger. After talking to Jeff, I found he'd been feeling similarly. When we coupled that with the issues I'd been experiencing with birth control pills (they were making me super sick, moody, and tired, and I was on a low dose pill) we decided we would just stop preventing and let God lead us.  Well...after 9 months of "not preventing", 3 months in a row where we thought I was pregnant, only to have negative tests, the missed period finally showing up 3-4 weeks late, and tears...I was beginning to fear and think that perhaps this was PCOS rearing its ugly head and that the two girls would be it for us biologically. This broke my heart because I truly felt (and still feel) that there were more children that were meant for our family. I had consigned myself to the fact that it just wasn't going to happen...and still cried about it daily when I was alone behind closed doors. In early October, my period was late again, and I was certain it was going to be another false alarm, so I refused to take a test for weeks. I couldn't handle the heartbreak of another negative test, and I just didn't want to go there...Finally, at the end of the month, we were preparing for the move back to Logan and I realized that if I was pregnant, I didn't want to do something stupid like try to lift a super heavy box on my own and hurt the baby, so I relented and took the test. Because I'd had such a rocky road getting pregnant, I was even more paranoid about telling anyone until we had been to the doctor and were close to the 12 week mark. I couldn't bear the thought of announcing it and having something go wrong. I finally announced it at the 11 week mark after we'd had several meetings with the doctor (because we found out that I was diabetic early on, he's been monitoring me closely), and I'd been reassured a TON that everything was fine. I am hopeful that 2014 will bring us another healthy, sweet baby to join the Nielson clan.

4. We got to move back to Cache Valley.  I was so bummed when we had to leave Preston to move to Rock Springs, but I was even more torn when we were leaving Rock Springs to come back to Cache Valley. I had my "safety net" there. I had lots of friendships that I'd developed, I also had therapies in place for Faith along with referrals to see specialists to get her diagnoses underway...it was a tough, tough call.  While I do miss my friends in Rock Springs terribly, and still kind of feel like a hermit here in Logan, I am glad to be back close to family again, and back in the beautiful valley that I love so much. While Logan is getting bigger, there is still a magic that surrounds this place. The mountains that surround it constantly amaze me with their beauty. Beyond that, my husband is FINALLY once again happy with his job.  He was so bummed and lost when he was laid off at Boomerang. Even though he wasn't doing what he was hired to do (yet) he liked waking up to go to work every morning. While I loved Rock Springs, I didn't love that my husband was cranky, and miserable every day. He hated getting up for work, he hated going to work, and he didn't have enough time to rest in between shifts to let the day wear off and be geared up to go back again. It was the last straw when they continued to refuse to put him on payroll, and the offer for his current job came at just the right time. He now is excited to go to work. He loves his bosses and the people he works with. He loves his job. He has time for the family (even though he is usually gone 3-5 days a week, he has time to relax and unwind when he gets home and really be present with us.) While I don't feel I've found my "niche" yet here in Logan, I definitely am more at peace knowing that my husband is happy and content. To hear him come home and say that he sees himself keeping this job for a long time is music to my ears.

5. We got to put an offer in on a house!  While we're still working out the details, and not everything is set in stone yet, we have been reassured that, barring extraordinary circumstances, we should be able to buy the house we've put an offer on and be closed by as early as January 31.  Since things aren't set in stone, I don't have pictures to show you (sorry, darlings).  I will show you pictures if and when we are closing on the house and have a set day to move in. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and, if you're the praying type, keep us in your prayers. All forms of good vibes are appreciated. It will be nice to be building equity instead of throwing our money away on rent, and it will be even nicer to have ROOM.  Our current apartment, while I'm very grateful for it, is very small for our needs (to be perfectly honest, when you consider we're a family of 4, soon to be 5, its downright teeny!)  It will be so nice to be in a place that we can spread out in, decorate however we like, and most importantly- get a dog to help with Faith's therapy goals. She really responds to animals and we've been wanting to get a dog to help her work on socialization skills and communication skills for quite some time, but we haven't  been able to because we've been renting. It will be a really big blessing to have a place of our own. We are trying to be frugal and prudent with our money, so we've opted for our first home to be a townhouse that fits WELL beneath our priceline. There is enough room for it to be a good 5-7 year home with a very low mortgage that will allow us to pay down debt and save up so that we can buy something bigger when we are more ready. It will also be a great investment property so, if we should choose to do so, we can put it up for rent and continue to have our money working for us and not for someone else.  We are really praying that everything continues to move forward like it has been. This property, and its owners, are truly an answer to our prayers. We found it, a for sale by owner situation, on a whim after being VERY unhappy with the realtor we'd been working with. I was really starting to wonder if we would find anything that we would be happy with that would fit in our price range...and the sellers were worried they would have to post the property with a realtor if they didn't start getting any notice soon. We actually contacted them and came to look at the house THE DAY they had decided that they would contact a realtor. As soon as we came, and a few hours after our visit texted them to let them know we were definitely very interested, they decided to hold off until we'd heard back from them. Here's to hoping that this really is a situation where God has guided us to one another...it seems like it is so far, but who knows what the future will bring. For now, I am looking at it as a HUGE positive for us and have had my prayers answered as I've seen sign after sign that we're doing the right thing.

Here's to 2013...it was quite the year...there were downs, but there were so many more ups! I'm excited for 2014. I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, so I guess I'm lame and don't have anything to share with you.  I do want to pick a family theme for the year from the scriptures, so I've been working on that, and I'm hoping I can either get my own Cricut or access to one so I can make a vinyl cut out of the scripture to put on the wall in our living room in the new house. We will see how that hope plays out...LOL... More than anything, my goal for 2014 is to remain positive and do my best to encourage the rest of my family to be positive as well.  While the Lord may throw us curve balls, if 2013 has taught me anything, its that the curve balls, while crappy at the time, really do have blessings attached. You just have to be willing to bear the burden well until the blessings manifest.  If any of my hopes for the next year (Faith's diagnosis, the new house, etc.) don't work out, it is my prayer that I will continue to have faith in and find joy in the journey. Every black cloud TRULY does have a silver lining.

Hugs and loves until next time, darlings.

P.S. My morning sickness has FINALLY tapered off enough that I feel like I can start making meal plans again! (YAY!) As we need to go grocery shopping this weekend, expect a new one on Monday at the latest.  Don't expect it to include ANY crock pot meals, as I still am having MAJOR issues with using it (major issues that involve being sick all day as I smell stuff cooking in it...sad day.) but we shall find a way to eat tasty meals that don't involve a lot of demanding prep time...I have 2 toddlers and a rapidly forming baby bump..ain't nobody got time for time consuming dinners.

TGIF

Today has been one of THOSE days. My girls decided to wake up shortly after daddy left for work. I am currently fighting the cold from HADES, and I really, REALLY wanted to sleep in...

Normally, I would have just left them to play in their room, but today they decided that it would be way more fun to bang on the door screaming and babbling loudly until I opened it for them. I found a familiar scene...the freshly folded clothes I'd JUST gotten back into their drawers strewn about the floor and the two of them had taken up a post sitting on top of one of the drawer bins turning on and off the lights...

TGIF!!!! That is all I can say...and with a beginning like that, you can guess that so far its been QUITE the day.

We had a meeting with an Occupational Therapist this morning to have Faith evaluated for sensory issues. She ended up watching her for about 30 minutes and how she interacted and asked me a few questions....the ones that I feel like I've answered a million times...but I also know that unless they hear it directly, it didn't necessarily get heard at all.  I do feel like she gave me some successful pointers to help Faith in the interum until she is able to complete her official evaluation.

Faith does have issues functioning in large group scenarios. She clings tightly to my legs and screams and cries until I take her out of the "scary" situation, she tries to hide somewhere quiet, or she tries to escape...and the problem with that last one is that when she escapes, because she doesn't answer to her name when she is called, it is quite difficult to locate her. She escaped nursery at church one Sunday and  I had 4 sweet sisters and a few bretheren trying to help me find her...After about 30 minutes of heart attack, she was found crouching under the water fountains... I was seriously so afraid she'd gotten out of the building, everyone was calm and reassured me that they didn't believe ANYONE in their right mind would open the door for a 2 year old to run away unattended...thank heavens for calm people because I was anything but! ...Fast forward though to the OT's suggestion. 

I had mentioned that when things seem to get loud in the house, Faith has a tendency to take her favorite toy and hide under the table until the sound dies down. She also did this at my sister's house over Thanksgiving, or, if the front door wasn't closed all the way because of kids going in and out of the house, she would try to run away out the front door. The OT suggested purchasing an indoor play tent to be used as Faith's "quiet space". She said that she would wager that if Faith had a place to escape to when she was feeling overwhelmed, she would be able to cope better in large group scenarios and that she would be less inclined to try to escape out an open door. She said we could set it up in a high traffic area, and watch to see if she has gone in or out of it. So...we're in the market for a kids' tent...2 weeks from Christmas...all the shopping is done, and we now have one more thing to buy! Oh well...I think it will be well worth the money it costs to bring us some peace of mind. 

Next week, we meet with our team of evaluators to discuss the services Faith will be receiving here in Utah. The Speech Therapist and Autism Specialist weren't around the bush and said quite frankly after their visits that I would likely be seeing much more of them. Faith does have some sensory issues, but I wonder if its enough to warrant Occupational Therapy, time and our meeting next Friday will give me a more clear answer. We also have a nurse coming before that meeting to assess Faith's health and to do a vision and hearing screening...so next week will be all craziness (but then again, its the week before Christmas...it wouldn't be the week before Christmas without a little bit of crazy.)  

The good news is that we will FOR SURE have insurance starting January 1...which means I can call the pediatrician and make an appointment to not only get Faith's vaccinations updated (they couldn't update them at her last well child exam because they couldn't reach the doctor's office to get an updated list of vaccinations she'd already had.) and I can ask him for a referral to see a pediatric development specialist or developmental psychologist that is here in town (I know there is one...I've been referred to them before, but we'd JUST lost our insurance at the time, so I couldn't follow through with the appointment.) There is a clinic here in town that is ALL out of pocket expenses, but considering what I've heard from friends about the clinic, it will be much more than my family can afford. Waiting until we have insurance to cover the visit with us making a co-pay is going to be the best scenario option for us.

The initial visit for this out of pocket clinic that apparently has sliding scale fees is $200...and they don't even see your child the first visit...I can't even imagine how much the rest of the testing costs...one doctor runs it and the rest of the staff are people working towards a DMD...don't get me wrong, I know people studying medicine have to learn somewhere, but if I'm going to spend that kind of money out of pocket, I'd rather spend it at a clinic with an actual doctor on the case and have a chance of my insurance covering the bulk of it...Hopefully, we can get all of this figure out soon. I know I have several family members that are frustrated with me for waiting, but you can only do so much with what you have...and right now, though I wish we did have it, we DON'T have that kind of money to spend out of pocket all at once... 

In other life news, Jeff goes out of town next weekend, and may have to work until Christmas Eve...providing his plane back doesn't get delayed, we should have him back Christmas Eve night, but if his plane gets delayed...Well, lets just say I'm REALLY worried about it... Jeff was kind enough to remind me that he'd be getting paid double time for returning home on Christmas Eve...which will help cover a lot of bills we have coming our way, but it still is nerve wracking to not be sure if he will be home for Christmas or not...however, considering that his last employer didn't give two pennies about Christmas or ANY holidays for that matter, I should just be counting my blessings and feel fortunate that he has an employer that cares and is trying to make sure he can be home.

Also, other earth shattering events (well, to me anyway)...I gave myself my first insulin shot last night. There were tears, there was a near panic attack at the thought of sticking myself with a needle...but I got through it...I can do this! These injections mean a healthier me and a healthier baby, and I can't balk at either of those two options.

Also...when I was putting her down for a nap this morning at 10 AM, Phillie actually thanked me...I laid her on the bed, she looked up at me and said, "Tankooo", and rolled over to go to sleep...I guess that's what happens when you wake up at the butt crack of dawn and realize that you are so sleepy that you can't see straight when you're one year old...you thank your mom for naptime. (I was very grateful for her little smile as she rolled over. She was VERY happy to be safe in her bed and able to take a nap.) 

All in all, life is life...

I am learning how to navigate the world of diabetic eating. As soon as I feel like I've got more of a handle on it, I promise that there will be meal plans coming again (because I know that is why most of you bother to read my word vomit. LOL) 

As always, hugs and loves until next time, darlings.

Moving Forward

Its 1:30...

I am in desperate need of a shower, but I have two little monsters in the room next to the bathroom that are fighting sleep... I could be packing...but I just want a break after a morning of scrubbing the kitchen and packing the last of our dishes.  I still need to resweep and mop, but I figure that can wait until I've scrubbed myself down.

Its been a VERY busy last few weeks.

Jeff got a call about a job in Logan, UT...a job he apparently applied for over a YEAR ago, and they were JUST getting around to hiring for the position...It came at a time of kismet. Jeff had been unhappy for a while at Schlumberger, but hadn't been mentioning much because he didn't want to worry me...but it all came out as we discussed whether or not he should take a final interview in Logan.

After listening to his heart and concerns, we added going to a job interview in Logan to our weekend plans.

After a quick jaunt to Logan, an interview and a verbal job offer, we stopped in Logan Canyon to take some family pictures and headed back to Rock Springs with a lot to think about.

On Monday, Jeff received and accepted the official offer and moving became a reality.

I'm seriously bummed about leaving Rock Springs. I know I haven't blogged much about life here, but I will say that the people here are the friendliest people you'll meet (similar to Missoula, MT where I did my Master's degree).  The town is big enough that you can get everything you need, but small enough that people still reach out and try to be kind to everyone they know. Its the type of town where you can have a complete conversation to with strangers in line behind you at the grocery store. A bigger town with a small town feel...and I have loved every minute of it. I've been content here...

However, after some of the experiences and conversations Jeff has had with management since we made the decision, I am feeling very much at peace about this decision to head back to Logan.

I was surprised when we were back in Logan, how easy it was to slip back into routine and feel at home. I know that I will be okay starting over again. I know it will be work, don't get me wrong, but if my nomadic childhood (From 4th grade on I pretty much went to 2 to 3 schools for every grade with the exception of 9-11 grade when we were in Blackfoot) has taught me anything, its how to pack, be organized and start over with a smile and new hope that things will be better.

The Lord has surely drawn us back to Logan. The timing of the call, the age of the resume that they were using, the fact that Jeff's brother just happened to have a 2 bedroom rental in our price range open, and that the company is going to pay our moving expenses, all point to this fact.

The move here to Rock Springs did some very important things for us: 1) It allowed us to get out of the financial hole we'd fallen into when Jeff was unemployed. 2)It allowed us to save some money and pay off debts that had mounted after an ER visit for me while we were uninsured and 3) Most importantly, we were able to get access to the services we needed to find a direction to travel to help Faith.

As far as what is going to happen with Faith, I really don't know.

She failed one hearing test, and then 2 weeks later she passed it.

Our speech therapist (who has been AMAZING) feels really bad that she doesn't have a better idea of what is going on at this point. Some days she says Faith looks like a classic case of Asperger's or another low grade Autism Spectrum Disorder and other days it seems like she is completely deaf. She thought  that by now she would have been able to have given us a referral and we would have found the answers.

At this point, this is what we know: We will likely follow up with an audiologist to check and see if she has a malfunctioning cochlear nerve (ie some days it allows her to hear and some days it shuts off like she is deaf) This is a real thing, in fact, our speech therapist has another patient that is dealing with it and it was easily fixed with hearing aids....having said that, she also said that Faith's speech delay is FAR MORE severe than the speech delay that this other patient was dealing with. The other possibility is that there is fluid build up that comes and goes behind her ears causing there to be days when the ear drum cannot vibrate and days where it can, this problem would be fixed with surgical placement of tubes.  We will have to put off a visit with an audiologist until we are on new insurance in January, but our speech therapist said that shouldn't be a big deal.

We also still need to see a developmental psychologist, but were assured that the infant toddler program in Utah should be able to refer us to one free of charge or at a discounted cost for services through their program.  We just need to be sure if we can rule out any Autism Spectrum Disorder, and considering that some days she seems to show all the classic signs and others she doesn't, this assessment could be tricky.

We have had some encouraging developments in the last few days. Faith has most definitely learned the sign for milk. She will bring me her sippy and I will ask if she wants juice or water or milk and make all the signs as I say them and she without skipping a beat has been able to sign milk. She does sign water, but generally she doesn't want water and after I bring her water, she hands the sippy right back because she is unhappy with the contents. I'm hoping she will eventually catch on with the sign for water like she has for the sign for milk.

It isn't much progress, but its progress. I definitely feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall some days, but when we do make baby steps it makes it all worth it--even if its a fleeting moment.

For now, we will transfer her paperwork to Utah's program and try to continue with services there. Our speech therapist said she would give me some exercises to work on with her in the meantime.

Phillie has been talking up a storm.

The other day we were trying to get her to give us kisses and she would shake her head no and then bury her face in a pillow or blanket. Finally, I said, "Fine, if you won't give me kisses, I'm going to steal them." She emphatically shook her head and said, "You can't get 'em" before hiding her face again... Jeff and I laughed about it for the next 20 or so minutes.  She also asks "Where we going?" when we leave the house, says, "Let's go", "Love you."...and plenty more. She doesn't talk all the time, but the random outbursts of perfectly understandable phrases are always a source of a little chuckle. This kid is definitely a comedienne!

Packing with them around has been interesting. We've had several flips and konked noggins after the girls have decided its a good idea to crawl up on boxes to reach things they've never been able to reach before. I particularly have to watch them around the piano because they situate the boxes like stairs and try to crawl on top of it. Phillie has several "battle wounds" from her futile attempts to be "king of the piano" (kind of like that grade school game "king of the hill" only the winner is the last one sitting on the piano?)

All in all, I may not know where we're ultimately going to end up, but there is comfort in knowing we are headed that way together. I am so grateful for my husband who works so hard so that I can be home with my girls.  This new job will definitely stink because he will be required to travel weekly, but at least he will be home every weekend and he has a boss that fights for (and usually succeeds in winning) holidays off so he can be with us.  We also will be closer to family (his family is in Logan and the surrounding area), and that means a lot too. When he's gone, I will have their support and that means a lot.

Well darlings, onward and upward. I think I may actually be able to take a shower now...but while I'm scrubbing away how about you take a gander at the decent family picture shots we managed to get last weekend...and you're welcome...

I LOVE Phillie's face in this one...its probably the best one we got.

I was testing lighting and had Phillie on my hip...I figured, WHY NOT? LOL

I wish Faith had been looking at the camera in this one because I actually really like the composition of it.

Hugs and loves until next time, darlings...

Happy Birthday Phillie!!!!

Click on the picture to read a few of her favorite things. :)

My Dearest Philadelphia,

I can't believe that you're already one year old! Time has gone by so fast!

While there are times that I miss my sweet little baby, I am so excited to watch you grow and change. You have always been and will always be one of the sweetest babies I've ever met. You love to cuddle and be held. You always try to make people smile. When I'm not feeling well, you always crawl over, give me your signature "charming smile" and make the darkest of clouds disappear.

You love Minnie Mouse, music, dancing (well, bobbing since you can't walk yet to dance like sissy does), and playing with baby dolls. You've started loving tutus and necklaces as much as your big sister and you're always up for a wrestling match with me or daddy.

Today, I am going to kiss your chubby little cheeks as much as I can...who knows if they will be this glorious and cherub-like next year when you're 2. I'm also going to snuggle and mug on you as much as possible....but I know you won't mind. You're a superstar and you know that you deserve to be the center of attention whenever possible.

While today marks a milestone, one year in what I pray will be a long and happy life, I want you to know that you will always be my little baby. I love you forever.

You bring me and your daddy so much joy. No matter what may come along the way, know that we love you and hope and pray that we can help lead you along until you're strong enough to find and choose the type of life you'd like to have for yourself.

You are a daughter of God who loves you. You're pretty remarkable and we feel very blessed by Him that He would allow such a special and sweet spirit into our home. You will do great things!

Love,
Your Mommy and Daddy

P.S. Here is a slideshow of the pictures we took of you this year! Look at how much you've grown in such a short time!

SLC Round Up

About a week ago, my husband surprised me with a text. He said, "What do you think about getting away to SLC this weekend for a vacation and to do some shopping?"

I was taken aback...not only was he suggesting a vacation- but SHOPPING? Not just shopping, SHOPPING IN SLC? Willingly? (LOL)

We talked back and forth about it. I asked him if he was serious and he said we didn't have to go if I didn't want to...Well...I need to preface this.

I'm CHEAP...like mega, uber, super I don't buy it unless I'm desperate or so in love that I can't live without it cheap...(and the so in love with it that I can't live without it thing RARELY ever happens. I am a clearance and major sale shopper all the way. I just can't bring myself to pay full price in most cases.)

So..shopping in SLC with no restrictions but those that I would place on myself was going to be a treat and also very frustrating for my hubby...he knows that I am one of those shoppers that will go from store to store and leave something behind thinking I can find something similar or exactly the same cheaper somewhere else...

We've also been poor as church mice since we got married. We didn't even take a honeymoon (and still haven't) because we really couldn't afford it. So pairing shopping with a mini vacation for me is quite the luxury.

Jeff had also been gone in the field. We had been missing him terribly. He also knew he had to go back out at some point during his next rotation at work and so he really wanted to spend some quality time away from the stresses and pressures of home with us.

Once we decided we were going for sure, I spent the rest of the week planning things and trying to find the most cost effective and fun things to do while we were there.

We decided to stay at a hotel right next to temple square because we ultimately decided that we mostly wanted to walk around temple square and the surrounding area and paying for parking at the hotel would be better than paying for parking at City Creek or one of the other nearby businesses.

Jeff got home on Friday night. I got up early on Saturday morning to finish packing, get ready, get the girls ready, and help to load the car and we were off by 7:30. We stopped before we left to buy another umbrella stroller (I LOVE our enormous jogging stroller, but it would have taken up the majority of the cargo space in the back of our little SUV, so we had to come up with another option.), we stopped at McDonalds for breakfast and we were on our way out of Rock Springs by 8:00.

The drive to SLC was fun. The girls watched various Disney movies in the back and we got to enjoy the scenery as we rode. We held hands and talked about everything under the sun.

We were trying to make it early enough to SLC that we could meet up with my sis who was there with her kids and hubby for a back to school shopping mini vacation herself.

Amber wasn't quite ready to meet up, and we were a bit early to check into the hotel, so we swallowed our pride and paid for parking at City Creek and decided to walk around and check out some stores.

I was an AWESOME mom and in my rush to get out the door, had forgotten to pack shoes for the girls so our quest was to see if we could find a place that sold affordable toddler shoes...yeah, we weren't successful in our quest. Most everything we could find was WAY more than I was willing to spend for a pair of shoes that was going to fit for 2-4 months tops...we did have luck at the Disney Store, but I wasn't sure I wanted to buy shoes that slipped on and off easily since Faith has a tendency to like to be barefoot.

Which brings me to one of my favorite parts of the trip...the part I wish I would have pulled my camera out for- The Disney Store.

We walked around and I found the wall o' Tinkerbell (seriously, there was a WHOLE WALL filled with Tinkerbell stuff). Faith started jabbering as soon as I pulled the stroller up for her to check out the goods. She instantly wanted OUT of the stroller and started touching and grabbing everything she could put her hands on. There was the sweetest little pair of Tinkerbell ballet flats that had the little pom poms on the front. They jingled like Tinkerbell does when she tries to talk to a human. They were more affordable than I thought they would be (I think they were $14.99) and I was very close to buying them. Faith gazed at them on her feet lovingly and tapped her little toes against the foot rests on the stroller...but I was super nervous that she would slip one off or one would slip off on its own because she was jingling the bells so much, and that we would lose one. So we bid them a fond farewell (Yes, there were tears as I took them off her feet and we were walking away.) Daddy thought for just a moment about buying the shoes and the Tinkerbell costume that went with them (Faith was hugging onto it for dear life at that point- She wanted me to put it on her and kept trying to slip it over her head) until he found out that the entire package would run us $50...he said we'd look for a cheaper Tinkerbell costume for her when we got home... After the wall o' Tinkerbell, I strolled Faith around all the Monsters Inc. toys (she LOVES the Monsters) and Jeff found a Minnie ear headband and put it on Phillie. He brought me over to show me what she was doing...

Normally, Phillie doesn't like headbands or hats on her head. She rips them off almost as fast as you put them on but the Minnie ears were different. Minnie is her "thing" right now. She was looking in the mirror smiling and giggling, trying to kiss her reflection and sat perfectly content to have the Minnie ears on her head. She was SO EXCITED (again, I really wish I'd been brave enough to take my camera out to capture it...but I was concerned that I would get in trouble so I kept it tucked away in the diaper bag...I suppose it will have to be a mental picture...) The Minnie ears were only $6...I tried to convince Jeff to let her get them and that we'd get Faith the Lambie doll she was loving on at the moment, but Jeff said he didn't want to spend money on souvenirs until we'd been shopping for necessities.

I had to agree with him. Most of what we had for Faith was hand me downs that had either been stretched out by a more chubby 18 month old, or was falling apart at the seams (literally)...and I was so desperate for clothes in Phillies size that I had her wearing Faith's clothes (that are a bit big on her) to make up the difference for what I lacked.

So...after we left the Disney Store, we got the sad news that my sis couldn't make it to meet us. Her kids were misbehaving and she was done. She just wanted to go home and crash. I totally understood (Maybe next time Ambs! Love you!)

We checked walked over to check into our hotel. We stayed that the SLC Plaza at Temple Square. It was a little more expensive than other hotels, but it was right by everything we wanted to do. I decided that, even without a free breakfast $79 for the night wasn't a bad deal to be right across the street from Temple Square!

It was probably one of the nicest hotels I've stayed in since I was in Europe.  The staff was super friendly and the beds were actually very comfortable (my one complaint with hotels is the beds always seem to be too hard, this one was actually just about right). The room was HUGE, which was a big plus since we had 2 pack and plays to set up for our girls to sleep.

We crashed at the hotel for a bit and I changed into one of the new outfits we'd purchased for me while we were at City Creek. I bought a couple of cute things on Clearance at Forever 21. I got dressed and looked at my husband and smiled and told him that I felt like "me" again. After almost 2 years of wearing nothing but hand me downs (seriously, every item in my closet but 2 dresses I got from one of my sisters who both have different fashion sense than me- Amber's is close, but not quite. :) ) it was nice to be wearing something that I actually purchased with my style in mind.

We walked back, picked up the car and headed to one of my favorite places on earth...Target.

We got a little lost on the way, but it ended up being worth it because Target is where we finished our "shopping spree".  I got 3 new outfits for the girls that I could mix and match pieces (ie 3 shirts and 3 bottoms for each girl.) Phillie is a TOTAL shopping diva. I was SHOCKED.  I was trying to show Faith some clothes and Phillie would cry because it was what she wanted. Phillie picked out all of her own outfits- I'm not even joking. She would grab things and not let them go (oddly enough, she always managed to grab her right size) or she would whine when I would put something down because Faith wasn't showing any interest but SHE was.  The funniest part of that shopping trip was when Faith and Phillie both grabbed skirts off of the clearance rack and wouldn't let them go. They turned out to be the right size and were both $2.50, so I decided to let them keep them and we'd find a top for them.  Fast forward to this week when I pulled them out for the girls to wear for the day. Phillie squealed, crawled over to me, grabbed her skirt and attempted to pull it on all by herself! She was going to wear that skirt and there was no time to squabble about it. LOL

We came back from Target with some new clothes for everyone, some wooden blocks for the girls to play with, and some wooden toddler puzzles with pegged pieces..and then crashed at the hotel. We had planned on going to Temple Square, but neither of the girls had taken a nap all day and they were CRANKY and HUNGRY (it was dinner time).  We were going to walk to the Cheesecake Factory, but opted to be cheaper and eat at the restaurant connected to the hotel- good old JB's.

Jeff was disappointed that his rib basket only had 2 ribs, but I saved the day by letting him eat the other half of my steak (it was an 8 oz steak and I'm usually lucky if I can finish a 6 oz),  Phillie ate ALL of my vegetables (I kind of wanted those...) wanted my baked potato, and refused to touch her grilled cheese sandwich and french fries, and everyone devoured a piece of cheesecake at the end. While Jeff paid the bill, I let the girls take turns eating the leftover blueberries that hadn't been eaten with bites of cheesecake...they were in heaven.

We woke up and decided that our goals for the day were Temple Square and Hogle Zoo...I actually took pictures of this part...YAY!

We had a yummy breakfast at IHOP (another funny story... we got lost trying to find the IHOP and then realized that we had passed it the day before when we were looking for Target and had even pointed it out as we were driving in attempts to make a mental note that it was there...oh well..LOL)  and then drove back to Temple Square.

Finding parking was tricky. We weren't sure if our parking pass would work at the hotel after we'd checked out and not all the City Creek parking lots were open...we probably drove around the block over and over for 20 minutes before we found a way in to park.

Temple Square was BEAUTIFUL. I felt a little out of place because most people that were walking around were walking around in their Sunday bests...here we were in leggings/jeans and a tunic dress/t-shirt...but I didn't see any glares or stares. I was surprised to see what a tourist attraction it is even on a Sunday. I knew that with the Tabernacle Choir broadcast there would be people around before and after, but even during there were sister missionaries giving tours to large numbers of people.  The girls were in love with all the flowers and trees. It was very hard for us to convince Faith especially that the flowers were to admire not tug on and take home with us.

I got to have some new experiences this trip. I actually got to go inside the Assembly Hall (AKA one of the first LDS churches before they decided that simple was better and more cost effective) and the tabernacle. Both were stunning. The Assembly Hall was on par with some of the most beautiful churches I've seen in Europe. I can understand why they stopped building them that way though, can you imagine what people's contributions to their ward building fund would have been back in the day before tithes and offerings were able to cover the costs for new buildings? YIKES!

I had a very emotional reaction when we went into the Tabernacle. The spirit was so strong there. I had the thought of how many prophets had stood at the pulpit in the front of a congregation in that building and about lost it. It gave me chills to think about all of the amazing spiritual giants had passed through the doors of that building and I wept...I tried to keep it inconspicuous, but it was quite the feat to keep it together.

While we were in the North Visitors' Center, we went to my favorite place on Temple Square, the Christus Room with the Christus statue. When I was little I always felt cheated out of time in that place. I loved to sit and listen to the echoes that the room made as people walked, talked and whispered, and study the intricate paintings of the universe on the ceiling and surrounding walls and just stare at the Christus...my parents always had to drag me out. It was here that we let Faith and Phillie out of the strollers for a bit to run around. Faith was calling out to hear the echoes back (of course, I was slightly embarrassed as there were several families sitting on the benches with parents whom I heard say, "Just sit quietly and feel the spirit." Oops...sorry. Can't really explain feeling the spirit to a precocious 21 month old who has made up her mind that her shrill scream coming back to her ears is the coolest thing ever...

While in the Christus room, there was a group of Japanese female tourists taking pictures. Phillie decided to crawl over and check them out. I decided to sit back and watch the exchange. They smiled down at her and she smiled back at them (that darn smile could probably have taken down the Persian Army, those 300 Spartans could have saved their lives in their epic battle by just holding her up for everyone to see- its THAT charming.) They finally started bending down to take pictures of her and say sweet things to her in Japanese...I know, this is where most mothers would probably go pick up their child and politely ask that they don't take pictures, but I figured it wouldn't do any harm...Seriously, her cuteness should be shared with the world, and if they wanted to remember her- who am I to deny them the memory? (I fully expect to see a random post in Japanese about the adorable American baby someone met in the Christus room at temple square with a picture of Phillie's charming smile someday on the internet...and I'm fully okay about that. LOL)

We scooped the girls up and made our way out of Temple Square...We had the slightly terrifying moment of realizing that they way we'd come out of City Creek was now locked up tight...That moment of "Crap, how are we going to get to the car?!" Set in for me and Jeff was cool as a cucumber, we walked the block until we found a way into the courtyard for City Creek that was open and made our way through to an elevator (of course, I was secretly holding inside the terror that the way out would be fenced in and we would have to call and wait for someone to let us out...)

We were doubly depressed to find that the splash pad was turned off. We had hoped to let the girls play but were denied! The nice security guard informed us that the splash pad at the Gateway Mall would be open if we wanted to go there, but Jeff wasn't keen on driving around downtown and paying for parking again, and I wasn't keen on trying to maneuver our way onto the Light Rail and pay for a ride to Gateway with the girls in strollers so we took off.

We stopped for lunch and OF COURSE- the girls fell asleep. They'd been wide awake the day before and refused to sleep in the car at all- but the one time you want them to be awake they are out cold. We decided to end our sojourn in SLC. Hogle Zoo could wait for another trip. We didn't want to go with cranky babies and spend 2-3 hours walking the zoo with them screaming... So, we got on the road home.

We decided to stop in Park City for gas. It was lovely and I joked about how small the Walmart was.. Jeff said he could live in Park City but then we both agreed it would likely never happen because it probably costs a pretty penny to live there. (Side note- It started POURING rain as we drove home, so we were kind of glad we decided to skip the zoo...)

We headed on. We stopped at a scenic view to change movies and change diapers and let the girls stretch their legs. It was well worth the stop!  Breathtaking views of the reservoir (not sure which one it is ) that is outside Park City.

We hopped the state line back into Wyoming and welcomed the beautiful, blue open skies.

Stopped in Evanston for another break and then made our way back to our home in Rock Springs.

Jeff remarked that Wyoming would never be "home" but he was content to think of it that way temporarily. I agreed. I definitely don't feel as much like a "fish out of water" here as I did in Nevada. The people are the kind of people I grew up around- hardworking farmers, mechanics, machinists, etc.- sturdy stock that will give you directions to the best mechanic or the nearest gas station or take the shirt off their back to help a wounded passer by...kind sturdy stock... and the area, while not as green as I'm used to, has a similar climate and feel to it. I definitely feel like I can put down roots here for a while and be content...and if a while turned into longer than I expected, I'd probably still be content. I miss my family. I miss Idaho and all the wonderful, beautiful hidden treasures that it holds, but Wyoming can be tied for a close second with Montana.

Thus ends our sojourn to SLC. Jeff was talking about going back for the Temple Square Christmas Light display and I am SO EXCITED just thinking of it. I've never been and its on my bucket list. Surprisingly, I only had 2 white knuckle moments on our trip to SLC and I actually found myself saying what a cool town it is if you're willing to explore it a bit. I won't mind another trip to SLC, and if all our vacations ever are when we live here is a quick weekend trip there, I will likely be content. We had a lot of fun and got to focus on enjoying time being a family- and that was all that mattered.

Hugs and Loves until next time, darlings!

As Summer Slowly Ends... and a quick update on Faith

Its crazy to think that today is the first day of August.  This summer has just flown by...and so has this year! Have you realized yet that we are now 8 months into the year? There are only 4 months left of 2013...only 2 months until Halloween, 3 months until Thanksgiving, and 4 months until Christmas...INSANE!

Jeff started a new rotation because of the tech he is shadowing and will be doing 15 days on and 6 off for a little while. We just had his first "off period" of 6 days and we took a lot of time to just do things as a family. A lot of our time was spent at home and it was nice.

We purchased a table and a Blu-ray player that has wi-fi so we can watch Netflix on it (makes it much easier than hooking up one of the computers and trying to keep Phillie away from the dangling cords.) I bought 2 scented wax warmers on clearance for $5, and our house smells like vanilla and caramel now all day long instead of the hints of lingering cigarette smoke( a gift from previous tenants of the house..YUCK!) and that general mildew smell that comes with living in a REALLY old house with plaster walls...I'm loving the new ambiance that a yummy smelling house creates. Its weird, but everyone seems happier when the house smells nice... Our house here is starting to feel more like home and things are coming together. We do need to buy one more chair (we only bought two because Jeff thought the table came with chairs. He was wondering why I was so insistent about getting at least one more...LOL Oh well, we will get there eventually!)  Also, our new washer and dryer arrived and I am ALMOST caught up on laundry now.

On Saturday, we got to go to our first Wyoming parade...it was a first parade for the girls in general. Let's just say that Rock Springs knows how to throw a parade for fair time. We walked away with a grocery bag's worth of candy, 4 cans of soda, 4 bottles of water, 7 or 8 popsicles and one of the local flower shops even gave flowers away to the moms and older young ladies of the crowd...I brought cash expecting to need to buy drinks or popsicles, but I was wrong. It was crazy. Every float that went by, someone was handing us a popsicle or throwing candy or giving us a free drink! The girls had fun watching the horses, classic cars, and Shriner's circus cars ride by. The best part is we only live about 2 blocks from the parade route. We didn't have to deal with traffic or finding a parking spot, we just got to walk out there about 20 minutes before the parade started and wait. It was awesome!

Tuesday was Jeff's last day off so we decided we'd make the day really special. We went to Garnet Park to have a picnic and let the girls play at the splash pad. Unfortunately, we got there and were informed by some other ladies that the splash pad was broken. They had been waiting HOURS for someone to come fix it and had finally given up. We ate our lunch and let the girls play in what little water was bubbling up...it was kind of pathetic so we knew we had 2 choices- we could go to the rec center and play in the splash pad there and swim, or go buy a pool with a spout so that we could have our own private splash pad...

We opted for the latter since I don't have a car to get places when he's a work and we figured it would be nice for me to have a way to spend time outside with the girls as summer draws to its close.

After spending almost an hour trying to find one at Walmart (it took almost 45 minutes to find an associate to help us find where they'd put the pool stuff...VERY frustrating) we opted to go to Kmart because they didn't have anything like what we were looking for. At Kmart, we found several options and ended up with a circle pool with a water slide and a zebra head spout that sprays water onto the slide. Faith picked it. We held the boxes down in front of her and asked her which one she wanted. It was a good choice. We also were pleasantly surprised to find out that it was on sale. It ended up being $10 cheaper than we had thought it would be.

Here are some pictures of the fun the girls had:

So...we embark on the next 15 days. Jeff will be working and I will be having fun with the kiddos during the day, and we will enjoy the family time we get when he's home. I love that we can all just snuggle up together and watch a movie at the end of the day for a few minutes, say evening prayers and Jeff and I have the rest of the evening to talk about our day and smooch (yep- that's right, we're married and we smooch! Get used to it!)

We love our new ward and have quickly made friends. Jeff's one regret is that he doesn't have more time off in the evenings. There are several guys in the ward that play frisbee golf and Jeff would love to go out and play with them and do tournaments with them...

In short, as much as I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be, Wyoming is quickly becoming "home".  I miss my green hills in southeast Idaho and being somewhat close to my family, but the people here and the similar climate make it easier.

I am very blessed at the moment and I am on my knees every morning and night thanking God for bringing us through the Hades of unemployment. Hopefully, with any lucky, Jeff will be on payroll soon (instead of a contractor through SOS) and all of the nerves surrounding this job will dissipate and I can REALLY allow myself to settle in.

For good measure, enjoy some pictures of the fun we've had today:

and video of Faith dancing and then hiding from the camera inconspicuously when she noticed I had it out....

Faith is a little character. She loves to dance and copy dance moves of characters on the shows we watch (we definitely have a flexible little ballerina on our hands.) Her favorite moves are leg extensions and twirling.  She loves shows like "Shake it Up!" and Angelina Ballerina because she gets to dance every time a character starts to dance. Too cute and funny. Still no headway on talking yet, but she has gotten much better at problem solving and figuring out puzzles. Its a slow process. The Infant Toddler program here is going to do her hearing test and if that isn't the culprit, they have a developmental psychologist who will test her to see if we can get a firm diagnosis of what is going on and help us find better treatments once we have an idea of what the cause may be. I'm feeling very fortunate that we were able to move here where the program is a little better funded. We also talked today about the possibility of taking the girls to Kindermusic classes at the Child Development Center here for free. I am excited to do it and take part.

Hugs and loves until next time, darlings!

P.S> I will be posting a few recipes later today. Stay tuned!

Little Moments

This morning has been trying. I woke up with the mother of all migraines and, instead of having the day off like he was supposed to, my sweet husband was informed yesterday that they hadn't paid attention to the scheduling and there would be no one to man the shop on the electronics side and that he would have to miss out on one of his days off...so he had to wake up and leave me.

Of course, poor Phillie, who has been rapidly gaining teeth on the top of her gums woke up as "the Hulk". While I appreciate the chances that I get to snuggle with her when she isn't feeling well, its always hard to know she is uncomfortable, and when you add a migraine to the mix, let's just say it doesn't get any easier.

As you all well know from some of my previous posts, sweet Faith, my darling Little Diva, seems to ignore her sister and live in her own world most of the time, much to my sweet Divine Cupcake's chagrin. This morning, however, Faith has been an answer to prayers in her own way.

Poor Phillie cries every time I put her down on the ground to leave her to her own devices. Well...I had to go to the bathroom (yes, I just admitted to it, I have bodily functions...) so, unfortunately for the Divine Cupcake, I had to leave her on the ground.

Screaming commenced and continued...I came out of the bathroom and turned the corner to enter my living room just as Faith handed Phillie my cell phone. Apparently, she didn't like to listen to sissy crying and, knowing that Phillie loves to chew on it, piled up a few books so she could stand on them (I'm assuming because there are two thicker books on the floor stacked that were not there before I left for the bathroom) and grabbed my cell phone off of the piano so sissy could have it. She handed it to Phillie and went on her way to grab a new toy for herself.

A few minutes later, I went to make Phillie a bottle...crying once again commenced. Faith, like a pro basketball player, never making eye contact or hinting that she was about to do so, passed Phillie her favorite chew toy, a link bead in the shape of an airplane, and then proceeded to take Phillie's favorite car and crawl around her, pushing it on the floor to make it make sounds, as if she was trying to make her laugh and feel better.

I came out to hand Phillie her bottle, and as I got Phillie down on the ground preparing her to take her bottle, Faith walked over, looking off into space, she reached her little hand out and started to pat her little sister's head, as if trying to soothe and reassure her. She then went on to dance as "Everybody Wants to Be a Cat" came on the television screen...and was gone again. Happy in her own world.

I often find myself wondering how much the Little Diva takes in because she does seem to be in her own world so much...but today I got to see, as she worked to try to make her baby sister happy, that she is starting to understand emotions and she is watching us. Everything she did (well, besides freely giving Phillie my cell phone...LOL) was something I would have done to try to make her little sister happy and take her mind off of her aching mouth.

I am so blessed to have such a sweet, caring little girl. Slowly but surely, she is starting to reach out and show us what she is thinking and feeling.  She is beginning to show glimmers and sparks of understanding that she knows someone is sad or hurting. She is beginning to notice when something is funny and tries to be silly when she sees that someone needs to laugh or smile.

To be honest, I couldn't have pictured her doing that a month ago.

We still have our moments. She still will accidentally step on her sister and ignore her attempts to play, she still gets stuck in her own little world and focuses so intently on HOW she is playing with a certain object to notice what we're trying to show her or teach her, but every day there are more little moments that I see her reaching out and trying to communicate...With luck, we will be able to start helping her learn how to verbally communicate one way or another so that her temper tantrums will start being fewer and further between, but I will take little moments with little victories where I can.

I love my babies. I am one blessed mamma.

For good measure, here are some pictures of them the other day waiting for their daddy to get home...One thing they both seem to agree on is knowing about what time daddy should be home and that they need to wait by the door for him...

Ahhh sisters....

Hugs and Loves until next time, Darlings!