The weeks leading up to June 23 were a blur of horrible contractions coupled with no change and MUCH frustration.
I left my 37 week appointment with my doctor almost certain I would be in labor before the end of the week. I was only 1 cm dilated, but I was 70% effaced. The doctor believed that surely I would HAVE to be in labor with the cervix being as soft as it was...
I showed up at my 38 week appointment exhausted and in pain. My weekly ultrasound revealed that the baby had their heart set on being posterior (sunny side up, facing up, however you want to say it.) By the ultrasound tech's measurements she was long and already nearing 8 lbs... I was still only 1 cm dilated, but 85% effaced...this is when the doctor became concerned. Sometimes, a posterior baby has a head that is too big to descend and cause dilation. He was also concerned if we waited much longer, she would be too big to deliver because, by the measurements we had, she had grown 3 1/2 pounds in the last 2 weeks. (and I was taking stock in the measurements because 2 friends that had the same techs measure them in the last few months before delivering their babies had their measurements be almost spot on at over 10 lbs for one and almost 10 lbs for another...so I too was concerned about the size of the baby considering my biggest at this point had been 6 lbs 9 oz.)
My doc opted to go ahead and schedule the induction for medical reasons. He was concerned about growth being too fast because of the gestational diabetes, and he was concerned that I wasn't going to go into labor on my own because of baby's position and head size...He put us on the schedule for the following Monday (the soonest he could do it since the hospital was booked for the rest of the week and they don't do inductions over weekends unless there is an emergency situation).
The weekend was painfully slow (literally, painful...contractions came steadily but never got hard enough to warrant going into L&D.)
Monday morning, I set my alarm for 4:55 AM. I woke up, tried to get myself alert and called in at 5 AM on the dot to see what time I needed to come in for my induction. I was expecting to be told they would call back in a few hours, but the nurse looked up my file, saw the reasons for induction and told me to come in at 7 AM. I was shocked it would be so soon, but eagerly accepted the time.
Jeff and I went and got donuts and orange juice for breakfast for everyone, gave my parents some last minute instructions about watching the girls and we made our way to the hospital.
We were a few minutes early, but the nurses were excited to see that we were and took us right back. They put us in a room right across from the nurses' station so that they could monitor us more closely given the doctor's concerns. The nurses were AWESOME! They were all chipper, kind, and eager to make my birth experience as easy going as possible.
I let the nurse taking care of me know that I was more nervous for the IV placement than the actual labor. Considering it had taken 5 pokes for them to get an IV with Phillie (my veins are juicy and great for blood draws, but they rupture and roll easily when it comes to IVs). She made my day when she told me that she was going to numb the IV site before sticking in the catheter needle.
It still took 2 pokes...which made me all the more grateful for the numbing power of the anesthetic she used. The first site she picked had a branch in the vein and she accidentally ruptured the site (she apologized and felt so guilty. I smiled and assured her that as long as she was going to numb me up first, she could poke me as many times as she would like...) Attempt #2 was much faster. The needle went in like butter. She actually was concerned she had ruptured the vein because it went in so easy, but she clapped her hands together and proudly proclaimed "We're in business!" when the bolus of IV fluid showed that all was well.
She then checked me, watched the monitor for a few minutes to see what the contractions I was already having looked like, and explained exactly how she was going to proceed with the Pitocin. She was so sweet and reassuring.
Seriously- no matter how many times you give birth, you always need that...and you ALWAYS need someone to explain something to you again because you forget a lot. I think that is the one theme I saw this time in my labor and delivery- I was shocked at how much I'd forgotten in 22 months between babies. It was so nice to have nurses that explained it like it was my first time.
Things from that point were pretty straight forward. The contractions gradually got more and more uncomfortable as the nurse gradually turned up the Pitocin after checking me and finding that no progress, or very little, had been made. The doctor came in to see how I was doing and broke my water around 9 AM. It was nice to see him in person. My last doctor had the nurses break my water and I didn't see him until it was show time. Dr. Olsen was awesome and made sure to let me know that if I had any questions or concerns that he was willing to come back up at any time to talk with me.
The nurse had turned the Pitocin up 3 times by 11 AM... After the third time she turned it up,my body went into shock because of the contractions. I started shaking, my teeth were chattering, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was dealing with the pain, it was probably a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10, but as soon as the nurse saw that the shock had set in, she asked if I was ready for the epidural. My water had been broken, so there was no going back at that point and I could have it at any time. I had been trying to go as long as I could without it. My motto definitely is that you don't get a medal for the hardest or longest labor without an epidural,but I wanted to wait until I couldn't take it anymore and I felt I was okay pain wise,but I deferred to my nurse...I am so glad I did...About 10 minutes later, I got up to go to the bathroom and the shaking was so bad that I had to be held up to make it. I realized that, even though pain wise I was tolerating labor, my body needed a break and the shaking and shock were both signs that it was time to give in and have the epidural.
I walked out of the bathroom right as the Anesthesiologist showed up...he took one look at me and said, "It looks like I made it just in time, eh?" (He was super nice and super funny).
The last time I had an epidural, the nurses wouldn't let Jeff anywhere near the bed. This time, he was encouraged to come to my bedside and help hold me up. To be honest, it was so nice to have him there. I was so grateful to be able to lean on him as opposed to a stranger...don't get me wrong, nurses are great, but they aren't your husband at a time when you want to feel his strong arms around you.
I forgot about the loud snapping sound the needle makes as it goes into your spinal column to place the catheter...I jumped...and then I apologized and started crying. I just couldn't control my body or my emotions at that point. The Anesthesiologist was sweet and assured me that I hadn't messed anything up. He attempted to place the catheter, but kept tweaking a nerve, causing me to kick my right leg...He finally had to give up and try to place the epidural a 2nd time. (That's right, 2 times to place the IV and 2 times to place the epidural...I was an overachiever that day, I guess.) The 2nd time was a charm, except for the fact that for some reason I wasn't as numb on my left side and my pelvis wasn't numbing at all. The nurse opted not to place a catheter and to drain my bladder manually instead...I felt the tube go in EVERY.SINGLE.TIME...
But...in spite of its flaws, I was SUPER grateful for the epidural. The nurse kept encouraging me to sleep...she could tell I was tired...and I kept trying to stay up because I felt guilty that Jeff was sitting there all alone with only his computer to keep him company. Once I finally gave in to sleep, the shaking started to subside and the shock went away for a while.
We also had some issues with my blood sugar throughout the labor. It went from too low to too high, and then to too low again. It was definitely a rollercoaster...first I could have popsicles and flavored ice chips, then I couldn't have anything, then they were scrambling to get my blood sugar up again...just UGH...I have to laugh because I felt so bad. I kept apologizing to the nurses for being a difficult patient. They all laughed and reminded me that I couldn't help it and that I was FAR from the most difficult patient they had been dealing with that day.
Finally, a 5 PM, during the shift change (because I'm cool like that), I started to feel pressure to push and the "ring of fire" (remember, the epidural hadn't numbed my pelvis for some reason). I mentioned it to the nurses as they were doing the shift change. They checked me and I had gone from a 5 to an 8 in an hour. Of course, they reminded me not to push because it could cause deep cervical tears and they said they'd keep a close watch on me. My new nurse and old nurse discussed whether or not they would call the Anesthesiologist to give me a bolus of different epidural medicine in order to try to get my pelvis to numb up. The new nurse thought that maybe they wouldn't because, once I was fully dilated, I could have the baby out in a few pushes(especially because I'd gone from a 5 to an 8 in an hour), but the nurse that had been with me all day was sage and wise...she said to call him. They deferred to me and I said that it would probably be easier to deal with the pressure and NOT push if my pelvis was numb.
At 5:20, the Anesthesiologist came. He checked lines, asked some questions about how I was feeling in order to assess if he could give me anything else, and gave me the bolus. He honestly explained that at this point he didn't believe it would have enough time to help, but he wanted to try...I'm so glad he did.
By 6 PM, the bolus hadn't taken full effect, but the ring of fire was gone...however, I started feeling CONSTANT pressure. I knew her head was RIGHT THERE. I hit the call button.
My nurse walked in the room:
Nurse: Hey, what can I do for you? Do you want some more ice? Another pillow? Another popsicle?
Me: Ummmm I think you need to check me
Nurse: I just checked you after the Anesthesiologist was here 20 minutes ago. You were still an 8. Why? You feel different?
Me: Ummm...I need to push...LIKE NOW!
The nurse scrambled to get on some gloves and quickly checked.
Nurse: Wow! You are definitely a 10 and her head is DEFINITELY right there. I will call Dr. Olsen. PLEASE don't push until he gets here...No matter how much you feel like you need to. Just BREATHE through it...(I later found out that baby was actually crowning and my poor nurse DEFINITELY didn't want to have to catch a baby before Dr. Olsen got there.)
It felt like it took FOREVER for Dr. Olsen to get dressed and get there...it was more like 10 minutes...but when you HAVE to push and you can't its a special kind of torture.
Dr. Olsen came in the room all chipper and announced that I had "won"...Apparently, me and another patient of his were being induced at the same time. We were neck and neck when it came to who would deliver first. Dr. Olsen came towards the table to start delivering when a nurse frantically ran into the room.
"You're other patient is fully dilated."
Dr. Olsen's eyes got wide as saucers.
"I am SO SORRY." He said "She is going natural. I can't make her wait."
My poor nurse looked like she was ready to throw up. I was shaking again, uncontrollably, as adrenaline surged through my system.
I smiled through my shakes and told him to go. I had an epidural and it was almost unbearable not to push. I couldn't imagine not having one and being told to wait.
Dr. Olsen ran out of the room like a bullet shot from a gun...
My poor nurse sat down at the end of the bed begging me to breathe through the contractions... She kept chanting "I don't want to, but I can catch this baby if I have to." It must have been her mantra to keep her calm...
20 minutes went by incredibly slowly...but, as the grace of God would have it, the bolus of epidural meds kicked in, in full force at that time. I felt pressure, but not the intense, uncomfortable pressure I'd been feeling before. I was able to breathe through the chattering teeth and contractions. My jaw felt like it was going to fall off because I was shaking and my teeth were chattering so much. The nurse did her best to remind me to breathe and relax so that the shaking would lessen.
Finally- When the nurse was starting to get REALLY concerned she was going to need to catch a baby, Dr. Olsen rushed back into the room and quickly washed up and dressed in a new gown.
True to my past labor experiences, I was a champion pusher. 4 contractions later, Vianca Violet made her appearance.
As suspected, her position and head size were preventing her from moving down the birth canal. Dr. Olsen did manage to turn her, but said she turned right back. She was bound and determined to enter the world face up...I guess she just wanted everyone to see how beautiful she was right away...
However, she was not the over 8 lbs bohemuth that the doctor had feared from the ultrasound measurements. One nurse estimated 7 lbs 5 oz...but was a "tad" off...Vianca weighed in at 6 lbs 13 oz.
I got to have another very different experience this time. With Faith, the nurses had attempted to put her on my chest after birth, but it was apparent she had respiratory issues. She was on my chest for 2.2 seconds before they whisked her to the warmer...I didn't even see her face until 8 hours later. With Phillie, the hospital didn't offer to or even try to put her on my chest and when I asked about skin to skin, I was told that they wouldn't do it... I was pleasantly surprised when the nurses asked about putting her on my chest to clean her off and skin to skin right when I checked in for the induction...and now I wish so badly that Faith hadn't had the issues she did and that I'd had the opportunity with Phillie... The nurses were able to put her right on my chest and clean her off after she was born. I got to look into her big, beautiful eyes and I probably held her for a full 10 minutes before they took her over to the warmer to finish cleaning her off, weigh her and measure her. Then, RIGHT after she was weighed and measured, the nurses helped me undo the top of my gown and she was placed against my chest. I won't lie...I cried as all of this was going on. It was definitely a bonding moment that I'd never been able to have before and it was almost physically relieving to experience it. I was shaking so badly I could barely hold her but the nurses were right there to facilitate it all and help me because I didn't have the strength.
When Vianca started to root around, they helped me get her into a hold to nurse and miraculously, unlike her sisters, she had a mouth that was big enough to get a good latch, and she did it instinctively with no assistance. While I have some more reflections on breastfeeding that I will share in another post (spoilers: it didn't work out again and we are using formula again, but, like I said, that is for another post), I will say that moment was different and so special. It was definitely a moment that created an instant bond that I was grateful to feel and was overwhelmed by.
After another hour in Labor and Delivery, we were moved up to Recovery. The nurse and I laughed that we kind of had to do a "Weekend at Bernie's" type maneuver to get me into the wheelchair because the epidural hadn't completely worn off, but I had enough movement that I could move to the side of the bed and scoot off myself (unlike with Phillie where they had to move me about 20 minutes after delivery and 2 nurses had to drag me into the wheelchair...) and finally, we got some rest.
The post partum period wasn't nearly as painful as it had been with Faith or with Phillie. The nurses did a great job staying on top of my pain meds and they did a good job massaging my stomach so that the post partum contractions didn't have to do all the work of shrinking my uterus back down. I was pleasantly surprised that I was actually able to sleep that night instead of being up dealing with contractions that were as painful as they were during delivery.
I tried my best to keep the baby in the room with me, but I desperately needed sleep after being in labor all day and every little sound she made was keeping me awake. I was so grateful that they had a well child nursery (the hospital I delivered in with Phillie didn't have one). The nurses happily took her and agreed to bring her back for feedings.
I had a really pleasant experience with the lactation consultant this time around. She was super positive and she was super supportive of whatever my decision would ultimately end up being. She was very aware of the struggles I would have given that I have problems producing enough milk and that I can't take the herbal supplements that increase your supply and gave me all the tips she could to try to make the process as easy as possible.
In the end, we were able to leave after 24 hours. I still wonder if I should have stayed one more night just so I could get a little more sleep, but Jeff felt like being back at home in our own bed would be the most therapeutic for both of us. The jury is still out as I didn't get much sleep. I will say that with the next baby, I may opt for one more night just so I can be sure to have one more night of sleep and I will tell Jeff to go home if he is so eager to be in our own bed...LOL. I wasn't horrible to be home, but I definitely feel like I didn't get any rest at all once I walked through the door.
Recovery has been tough since coming home, but that too is for another blog for another day.
In the end, ViancaViolet made it here safe and strong. My sweet husband was awesome and stayed by my side the entire time, even heeding my request that his computer didn't come out until the epidural was in place, and the nurses and my doctor made the experience all the better with a level of care and compassion that I found severely lacking during my last birth experience.
I could have a dozen more babies with care like that...and I'm not even joking. Logan Regional Medical Center was awesome and I am grateful that we were living here so I could experience it.
Showing posts with label gummybear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gummybear. Show all posts
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Monday, December 30, 2013
High Five for 2013!
I know a lot of people do High Five for Friday posts...and I actually genuinely enjoy reading a few. It is nice to accentuate the positive. We've had a rough, rollercoaster of a year, and I want to be able to look back and think that it was awesome instead of frustrating...because there really were lots of awesome things about 2013 when I sit down to think about it, and the awesome really does trump the crappy, stressful unemployed parts...LOL So, here we go! High Five for 2013! If I could figure out how to set up a link party, I would totally love to read some of your High Fives....I will see if I can figure that out. :)
1. Number one was a frustrating journey, but a necessary one and one that has ended up being a HUGE relief and blessing. I still have my moments of grief and despair, but that is a post for another day (and that day is coming soon, as writing about my frustrations often helps me to find clarity) What is No. 1? We are almost to the end of the diagnosis journey for figuring out what is causing Faith's delays. This journey started in a very frustrating place, and Jeff's unemployment, in an odd way, actually ended up helping to end that frustration and lead us to better help. I am grateful for Early Intervention programs, but the way that Idaho has it set up is kind of a joke, and led to many of my frustrations in the beginning. Here they were, telling me that they agreed with me, and their assessments said that something was wrong, but I wasn't getting the help I needed. Instead of one on one attention with a trained professional in all the areas she needed help, I was given a coach who had an early education degree, who met once a week with a trained professional. Our meetings were often frustrating as I felt like we weren't getting any useful information and it felt like a waste of 1 to 2 hours of my time every week... Jeff's unemployment led us to Rock Springs, WY...and the Wyoming Early Intervention program was leaps and bounds better. We were blessed to work with an AMAZING speech therapist who had been working in the field for 20 years. I felt like I'd learned something at the end of every therapy session, and while Faith's progress wasn't easily coming, the little victories were always celebrated and she did an excellent job of helping me to see the small successes we'd had. We were on our way to working with an Occupational Therapist when life threw us another curve ball and we ended up back in Cache Valley again, but this time in Logan, UT. The Utah Early Intervention program is every bit as wonderful as the program we left in Wyoming, with the added benefit of an Autism Specialist who really knows her stuff. After going through another month of assessments, we've been able to come to the conclusion that we really, most likely, are dealing with Autism Spectrum Disorder..and the best part is that they are trying to do everything they can to encourage a diagnosis and get it done quickly so we can better understand her needs and find therapies that are targeted for whatever disorder she is diagnosed with on the Autism spectrum. We will soon meet with Audiologists at the university to completely rule out hearing loss as the cause of her issues (and we've pretty much established that she can hear through other assessments. Even after she failed her first OAE exam, she passed the next two...so we have a fairly good idea that she isn't having any issues with hearing). We will be starting Autism classes in conjunction with therapy that will help us help her to cope in public situations with her sensory issues. We will start speech therapy again soon, and, hopefully, a diagnosis will give us some better ideas for how to target her therapies. I know this is not the ending of a journey, but the very beginning of a very long one...but it is the ending of this chapter of the journey and I am grateful for it. If we'd stayed in Idaho, we wouldn't have been able to get her in for a diagnosis until she was three years old! I can't even imagine how horrible that would have been, and how frustrating. It would have meant she would have had to start preschool with no targeted education plan in place to help her and she would have ended up light years behind the other kids her age...ugh. We are fortunate that God led us on such a roller coaster this year... the more I think about it, the more I realize that the roller coaster really was a means to finding a HUGE blessing for Faith. Here's to hoping that 2014 leads us to a definitive diagnosis and more marked progress. So far, we've learned the sign for milk, and a modified sign for juice. We are working on thank you and water...I will let you know how that works out...since it took me 6 months to teach her the sign for milk and she still doesn't get the sign for juice right 75% of the time..
2. We got to spend an awesome year discovering "Silly Phillie"...seriously, the kid is a card! We started the year with "the Hulk"...she was perfectly sweet and wonderful...until you made her angry...you wouldn't like her when she's angry...LOL but she has morphed into the sweetest little cherub chub with the sweetest mischievous smile on the planet. We started to meet "Silly Phillie" around her 6 months old mark when daddy decided, for a laugh, to put both girls in the same crib to see how they would react...she responded with an emphatic "GET OUT!" and has been surprising us with her charm and silliness, non- stop ever since. She has since become a master at "The Cosby", a new dance craze that will sweep the nation (anyone who has watched the opening sequence of "The Cosby Show" as a kid will get that reference, if you don't, look it up on Youtube... she dances like Bill Cosby and its HI-larious!) She has also become a polite little thief. If you have anything that she wants, she has become a master of smiling her little mischievous grin, sweetly saying "Tankooo (thank you)" and ripping it out of your hands...Her new favorite game is also to hand you something, have you ask if she wants it back, and then she says "Tankooo" as she takes it away...then she repeats it....for 45 minutes...she thinks its great...mommy thinks she never thought she would be sick of hearing someone say thank you...LOL. She also says the most random phrases at the most random times and shocks us with her ability to grasp language...for example she randomly as "Where we goin'?" as we're walking out to the car...she has learned how to say "no" (something I know I will regret in the coming months), and "hungee (hungry)". She also loves anything fluffy, cuddly and sparkly. Jeff looks at her and thinks that she will be a tom boy...but the girl loves sequins and sparkles more than anything on the planet...she is also a GREAT shopping buddy. Nothing makes her happier than pulling things she likes into the cart and saying how "pitty (pretty)" they are. Good luck parting her from her "pitty" things...she still hulks out better than the best of them... 2014 will be the year of changes for our "Silly Phillie"...we have started to see that she really is kind of spoiled. For example, she didn't start walking until a month ago, but not because she couldn't walk...no, she refused to walk because, like the princess she is, she prefers to be carried. Jeff finally cured her of her inability to walk by forcing her to hold his hand and walk almost every time we went somewhere as a family...she quickly decided she would rather be able to walk on her own than have dad drag her everywhere. Fortunately, in spite of being kind of spoiled, she has started to want to be a little helper...and hopefully this will come in handy come June/July...which leads us to No. 3...
3. We found out that baby #3, lovingly deemed "gummy bear", is on his/her way. I will share that there were months of wondering if we'd be able to have a #3. I shared a few years ago that I was diagnosed in high school with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and had been told that I would likely never have children, and if I did, it would be a miracle. Around Phillie's 5-6 month mark, I started feeling like someone was missing...I know...its crazy. I still had an infant in the house... but I couldn't help the feeling...and every time I tried to push it away, it only got stronger. After talking to Jeff, I found he'd been feeling similarly. When we coupled that with the issues I'd been experiencing with birth control pills (they were making me super sick, moody, and tired, and I was on a low dose pill) we decided we would just stop preventing and let God lead us. Well...after 9 months of "not preventing", 3 months in a row where we thought I was pregnant, only to have negative tests, the missed period finally showing up 3-4 weeks late, and tears...I was beginning to fear and think that perhaps this was PCOS rearing its ugly head and that the two girls would be it for us biologically. This broke my heart because I truly felt (and still feel) that there were more children that were meant for our family. I had consigned myself to the fact that it just wasn't going to happen...and still cried about it daily when I was alone behind closed doors. In early October, my period was late again, and I was certain it was going to be another false alarm, so I refused to take a test for weeks. I couldn't handle the heartbreak of another negative test, and I just didn't want to go there...Finally, at the end of the month, we were preparing for the move back to Logan and I realized that if I was pregnant, I didn't want to do something stupid like try to lift a super heavy box on my own and hurt the baby, so I relented and took the test. Because I'd had such a rocky road getting pregnant, I was even more paranoid about telling anyone until we had been to the doctor and were close to the 12 week mark. I couldn't bear the thought of announcing it and having something go wrong. I finally announced it at the 11 week mark after we'd had several meetings with the doctor (because we found out that I was diabetic early on, he's been monitoring me closely), and I'd been reassured a TON that everything was fine. I am hopeful that 2014 will bring us another healthy, sweet baby to join the Nielson clan.
4. We got to move back to Cache Valley. I was so bummed when we had to leave Preston to move to Rock Springs, but I was even more torn when we were leaving Rock Springs to come back to Cache Valley. I had my "safety net" there. I had lots of friendships that I'd developed, I also had therapies in place for Faith along with referrals to see specialists to get her diagnoses underway...it was a tough, tough call. While I do miss my friends in Rock Springs terribly, and still kind of feel like a hermit here in Logan, I am glad to be back close to family again, and back in the beautiful valley that I love so much. While Logan is getting bigger, there is still a magic that surrounds this place. The mountains that surround it constantly amaze me with their beauty. Beyond that, my husband is FINALLY once again happy with his job. He was so bummed and lost when he was laid off at Boomerang. Even though he wasn't doing what he was hired to do (yet) he liked waking up to go to work every morning. While I loved Rock Springs, I didn't love that my husband was cranky, and miserable every day. He hated getting up for work, he hated going to work, and he didn't have enough time to rest in between shifts to let the day wear off and be geared up to go back again. It was the last straw when they continued to refuse to put him on payroll, and the offer for his current job came at just the right time. He now is excited to go to work. He loves his bosses and the people he works with. He loves his job. He has time for the family (even though he is usually gone 3-5 days a week, he has time to relax and unwind when he gets home and really be present with us.) While I don't feel I've found my "niche" yet here in Logan, I definitely am more at peace knowing that my husband is happy and content. To hear him come home and say that he sees himself keeping this job for a long time is music to my ears.
5. We got to put an offer in on a house! While we're still working out the details, and not everything is set in stone yet, we have been reassured that, barring extraordinary circumstances, we should be able to buy the house we've put an offer on and be closed by as early as January 31. Since things aren't set in stone, I don't have pictures to show you (sorry, darlings). I will show you pictures if and when we are closing on the house and have a set day to move in. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and, if you're the praying type, keep us in your prayers. All forms of good vibes are appreciated. It will be nice to be building equity instead of throwing our money away on rent, and it will be even nicer to have ROOM. Our current apartment, while I'm very grateful for it, is very small for our needs (to be perfectly honest, when you consider we're a family of 4, soon to be 5, its downright teeny!) It will be so nice to be in a place that we can spread out in, decorate however we like, and most importantly- get a dog to help with Faith's therapy goals. She really responds to animals and we've been wanting to get a dog to help her work on socialization skills and communication skills for quite some time, but we haven't been able to because we've been renting. It will be a really big blessing to have a place of our own. We are trying to be frugal and prudent with our money, so we've opted for our first home to be a townhouse that fits WELL beneath our priceline. There is enough room for it to be a good 5-7 year home with a very low mortgage that will allow us to pay down debt and save up so that we can buy something bigger when we are more ready. It will also be a great investment property so, if we should choose to do so, we can put it up for rent and continue to have our money working for us and not for someone else. We are really praying that everything continues to move forward like it has been. This property, and its owners, are truly an answer to our prayers. We found it, a for sale by owner situation, on a whim after being VERY unhappy with the realtor we'd been working with. I was really starting to wonder if we would find anything that we would be happy with that would fit in our price range...and the sellers were worried they would have to post the property with a realtor if they didn't start getting any notice soon. We actually contacted them and came to look at the house THE DAY they had decided that they would contact a realtor. As soon as we came, and a few hours after our visit texted them to let them know we were definitely very interested, they decided to hold off until we'd heard back from them. Here's to hoping that this really is a situation where God has guided us to one another...it seems like it is so far, but who knows what the future will bring. For now, I am looking at it as a HUGE positive for us and have had my prayers answered as I've seen sign after sign that we're doing the right thing.
Here's to 2013...it was quite the year...there were downs, but there were so many more ups! I'm excited for 2014. I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, so I guess I'm lame and don't have anything to share with you. I do want to pick a family theme for the year from the scriptures, so I've been working on that, and I'm hoping I can either get my own Cricut or access to one so I can make a vinyl cut out of the scripture to put on the wall in our living room in the new house. We will see how that hope plays out...LOL... More than anything, my goal for 2014 is to remain positive and do my best to encourage the rest of my family to be positive as well. While the Lord may throw us curve balls, if 2013 has taught me anything, its that the curve balls, while crappy at the time, really do have blessings attached. You just have to be willing to bear the burden well until the blessings manifest. If any of my hopes for the next year (Faith's diagnosis, the new house, etc.) don't work out, it is my prayer that I will continue to have faith in and find joy in the journey. Every black cloud TRULY does have a silver lining.
Hugs and loves until next time, darlings.
P.S. My morning sickness has FINALLY tapered off enough that I feel like I can start making meal plans again! (YAY!) As we need to go grocery shopping this weekend, expect a new one on Monday at the latest. Don't expect it to include ANY crock pot meals, as I still am having MAJOR issues with using it (major issues that involve being sick all day as I smell stuff cooking in it...sad day.) but we shall find a way to eat tasty meals that don't involve a lot of demanding prep time...I have 2 toddlers and a rapidly forming baby bump..ain't nobody got time for time consuming dinners.
1. Number one was a frustrating journey, but a necessary one and one that has ended up being a HUGE relief and blessing. I still have my moments of grief and despair, but that is a post for another day (and that day is coming soon, as writing about my frustrations often helps me to find clarity) What is No. 1? We are almost to the end of the diagnosis journey for figuring out what is causing Faith's delays. This journey started in a very frustrating place, and Jeff's unemployment, in an odd way, actually ended up helping to end that frustration and lead us to better help. I am grateful for Early Intervention programs, but the way that Idaho has it set up is kind of a joke, and led to many of my frustrations in the beginning. Here they were, telling me that they agreed with me, and their assessments said that something was wrong, but I wasn't getting the help I needed. Instead of one on one attention with a trained professional in all the areas she needed help, I was given a coach who had an early education degree, who met once a week with a trained professional. Our meetings were often frustrating as I felt like we weren't getting any useful information and it felt like a waste of 1 to 2 hours of my time every week... Jeff's unemployment led us to Rock Springs, WY...and the Wyoming Early Intervention program was leaps and bounds better. We were blessed to work with an AMAZING speech therapist who had been working in the field for 20 years. I felt like I'd learned something at the end of every therapy session, and while Faith's progress wasn't easily coming, the little victories were always celebrated and she did an excellent job of helping me to see the small successes we'd had. We were on our way to working with an Occupational Therapist when life threw us another curve ball and we ended up back in Cache Valley again, but this time in Logan, UT. The Utah Early Intervention program is every bit as wonderful as the program we left in Wyoming, with the added benefit of an Autism Specialist who really knows her stuff. After going through another month of assessments, we've been able to come to the conclusion that we really, most likely, are dealing with Autism Spectrum Disorder..and the best part is that they are trying to do everything they can to encourage a diagnosis and get it done quickly so we can better understand her needs and find therapies that are targeted for whatever disorder she is diagnosed with on the Autism spectrum. We will soon meet with Audiologists at the university to completely rule out hearing loss as the cause of her issues (and we've pretty much established that she can hear through other assessments. Even after she failed her first OAE exam, she passed the next two...so we have a fairly good idea that she isn't having any issues with hearing). We will be starting Autism classes in conjunction with therapy that will help us help her to cope in public situations with her sensory issues. We will start speech therapy again soon, and, hopefully, a diagnosis will give us some better ideas for how to target her therapies. I know this is not the ending of a journey, but the very beginning of a very long one...but it is the ending of this chapter of the journey and I am grateful for it. If we'd stayed in Idaho, we wouldn't have been able to get her in for a diagnosis until she was three years old! I can't even imagine how horrible that would have been, and how frustrating. It would have meant she would have had to start preschool with no targeted education plan in place to help her and she would have ended up light years behind the other kids her age...ugh. We are fortunate that God led us on such a roller coaster this year... the more I think about it, the more I realize that the roller coaster really was a means to finding a HUGE blessing for Faith. Here's to hoping that 2014 leads us to a definitive diagnosis and more marked progress. So far, we've learned the sign for milk, and a modified sign for juice. We are working on thank you and water...I will let you know how that works out...since it took me 6 months to teach her the sign for milk and she still doesn't get the sign for juice right 75% of the time..
2. We got to spend an awesome year discovering "Silly Phillie"...seriously, the kid is a card! We started the year with "the Hulk"...she was perfectly sweet and wonderful...until you made her angry...you wouldn't like her when she's angry...LOL but she has morphed into the sweetest little cherub chub with the sweetest mischievous smile on the planet. We started to meet "Silly Phillie" around her 6 months old mark when daddy decided, for a laugh, to put both girls in the same crib to see how they would react...she responded with an emphatic "GET OUT!" and has been surprising us with her charm and silliness, non- stop ever since. She has since become a master at "The Cosby", a new dance craze that will sweep the nation (anyone who has watched the opening sequence of "The Cosby Show" as a kid will get that reference, if you don't, look it up on Youtube... she dances like Bill Cosby and its HI-larious!) She has also become a polite little thief. If you have anything that she wants, she has become a master of smiling her little mischievous grin, sweetly saying "Tankooo (thank you)" and ripping it out of your hands...Her new favorite game is also to hand you something, have you ask if she wants it back, and then she says "Tankooo" as she takes it away...then she repeats it....for 45 minutes...she thinks its great...mommy thinks she never thought she would be sick of hearing someone say thank you...LOL. She also says the most random phrases at the most random times and shocks us with her ability to grasp language...for example she randomly as "Where we goin'?" as we're walking out to the car...she has learned how to say "no" (something I know I will regret in the coming months), and "hungee (hungry)". She also loves anything fluffy, cuddly and sparkly. Jeff looks at her and thinks that she will be a tom boy...but the girl loves sequins and sparkles more than anything on the planet...she is also a GREAT shopping buddy. Nothing makes her happier than pulling things she likes into the cart and saying how "pitty (pretty)" they are. Good luck parting her from her "pitty" things...she still hulks out better than the best of them... 2014 will be the year of changes for our "Silly Phillie"...we have started to see that she really is kind of spoiled. For example, she didn't start walking until a month ago, but not because she couldn't walk...no, she refused to walk because, like the princess she is, she prefers to be carried. Jeff finally cured her of her inability to walk by forcing her to hold his hand and walk almost every time we went somewhere as a family...she quickly decided she would rather be able to walk on her own than have dad drag her everywhere. Fortunately, in spite of being kind of spoiled, she has started to want to be a little helper...and hopefully this will come in handy come June/July...which leads us to No. 3...
3. We found out that baby #3, lovingly deemed "gummy bear", is on his/her way. I will share that there were months of wondering if we'd be able to have a #3. I shared a few years ago that I was diagnosed in high school with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and had been told that I would likely never have children, and if I did, it would be a miracle. Around Phillie's 5-6 month mark, I started feeling like someone was missing...I know...its crazy. I still had an infant in the house... but I couldn't help the feeling...and every time I tried to push it away, it only got stronger. After talking to Jeff, I found he'd been feeling similarly. When we coupled that with the issues I'd been experiencing with birth control pills (they were making me super sick, moody, and tired, and I was on a low dose pill) we decided we would just stop preventing and let God lead us. Well...after 9 months of "not preventing", 3 months in a row where we thought I was pregnant, only to have negative tests, the missed period finally showing up 3-4 weeks late, and tears...I was beginning to fear and think that perhaps this was PCOS rearing its ugly head and that the two girls would be it for us biologically. This broke my heart because I truly felt (and still feel) that there were more children that were meant for our family. I had consigned myself to the fact that it just wasn't going to happen...and still cried about it daily when I was alone behind closed doors. In early October, my period was late again, and I was certain it was going to be another false alarm, so I refused to take a test for weeks. I couldn't handle the heartbreak of another negative test, and I just didn't want to go there...Finally, at the end of the month, we were preparing for the move back to Logan and I realized that if I was pregnant, I didn't want to do something stupid like try to lift a super heavy box on my own and hurt the baby, so I relented and took the test. Because I'd had such a rocky road getting pregnant, I was even more paranoid about telling anyone until we had been to the doctor and were close to the 12 week mark. I couldn't bear the thought of announcing it and having something go wrong. I finally announced it at the 11 week mark after we'd had several meetings with the doctor (because we found out that I was diabetic early on, he's been monitoring me closely), and I'd been reassured a TON that everything was fine. I am hopeful that 2014 will bring us another healthy, sweet baby to join the Nielson clan.
4. We got to move back to Cache Valley. I was so bummed when we had to leave Preston to move to Rock Springs, but I was even more torn when we were leaving Rock Springs to come back to Cache Valley. I had my "safety net" there. I had lots of friendships that I'd developed, I also had therapies in place for Faith along with referrals to see specialists to get her diagnoses underway...it was a tough, tough call. While I do miss my friends in Rock Springs terribly, and still kind of feel like a hermit here in Logan, I am glad to be back close to family again, and back in the beautiful valley that I love so much. While Logan is getting bigger, there is still a magic that surrounds this place. The mountains that surround it constantly amaze me with their beauty. Beyond that, my husband is FINALLY once again happy with his job. He was so bummed and lost when he was laid off at Boomerang. Even though he wasn't doing what he was hired to do (yet) he liked waking up to go to work every morning. While I loved Rock Springs, I didn't love that my husband was cranky, and miserable every day. He hated getting up for work, he hated going to work, and he didn't have enough time to rest in between shifts to let the day wear off and be geared up to go back again. It was the last straw when they continued to refuse to put him on payroll, and the offer for his current job came at just the right time. He now is excited to go to work. He loves his bosses and the people he works with. He loves his job. He has time for the family (even though he is usually gone 3-5 days a week, he has time to relax and unwind when he gets home and really be present with us.) While I don't feel I've found my "niche" yet here in Logan, I definitely am more at peace knowing that my husband is happy and content. To hear him come home and say that he sees himself keeping this job for a long time is music to my ears.
5. We got to put an offer in on a house! While we're still working out the details, and not everything is set in stone yet, we have been reassured that, barring extraordinary circumstances, we should be able to buy the house we've put an offer on and be closed by as early as January 31. Since things aren't set in stone, I don't have pictures to show you (sorry, darlings). I will show you pictures if and when we are closing on the house and have a set day to move in. Keep your fingers crossed for us, and, if you're the praying type, keep us in your prayers. All forms of good vibes are appreciated. It will be nice to be building equity instead of throwing our money away on rent, and it will be even nicer to have ROOM. Our current apartment, while I'm very grateful for it, is very small for our needs (to be perfectly honest, when you consider we're a family of 4, soon to be 5, its downright teeny!) It will be so nice to be in a place that we can spread out in, decorate however we like, and most importantly- get a dog to help with Faith's therapy goals. She really responds to animals and we've been wanting to get a dog to help her work on socialization skills and communication skills for quite some time, but we haven't been able to because we've been renting. It will be a really big blessing to have a place of our own. We are trying to be frugal and prudent with our money, so we've opted for our first home to be a townhouse that fits WELL beneath our priceline. There is enough room for it to be a good 5-7 year home with a very low mortgage that will allow us to pay down debt and save up so that we can buy something bigger when we are more ready. It will also be a great investment property so, if we should choose to do so, we can put it up for rent and continue to have our money working for us and not for someone else. We are really praying that everything continues to move forward like it has been. This property, and its owners, are truly an answer to our prayers. We found it, a for sale by owner situation, on a whim after being VERY unhappy with the realtor we'd been working with. I was really starting to wonder if we would find anything that we would be happy with that would fit in our price range...and the sellers were worried they would have to post the property with a realtor if they didn't start getting any notice soon. We actually contacted them and came to look at the house THE DAY they had decided that they would contact a realtor. As soon as we came, and a few hours after our visit texted them to let them know we were definitely very interested, they decided to hold off until we'd heard back from them. Here's to hoping that this really is a situation where God has guided us to one another...it seems like it is so far, but who knows what the future will bring. For now, I am looking at it as a HUGE positive for us and have had my prayers answered as I've seen sign after sign that we're doing the right thing.
Here's to 2013...it was quite the year...there were downs, but there were so many more ups! I'm excited for 2014. I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions, so I guess I'm lame and don't have anything to share with you. I do want to pick a family theme for the year from the scriptures, so I've been working on that, and I'm hoping I can either get my own Cricut or access to one so I can make a vinyl cut out of the scripture to put on the wall in our living room in the new house. We will see how that hope plays out...LOL... More than anything, my goal for 2014 is to remain positive and do my best to encourage the rest of my family to be positive as well. While the Lord may throw us curve balls, if 2013 has taught me anything, its that the curve balls, while crappy at the time, really do have blessings attached. You just have to be willing to bear the burden well until the blessings manifest. If any of my hopes for the next year (Faith's diagnosis, the new house, etc.) don't work out, it is my prayer that I will continue to have faith in and find joy in the journey. Every black cloud TRULY does have a silver lining.
Hugs and loves until next time, darlings.
P.S. My morning sickness has FINALLY tapered off enough that I feel like I can start making meal plans again! (YAY!) As we need to go grocery shopping this weekend, expect a new one on Monday at the latest. Don't expect it to include ANY crock pot meals, as I still am having MAJOR issues with using it (major issues that involve being sick all day as I smell stuff cooking in it...sad day.) but we shall find a way to eat tasty meals that don't involve a lot of demanding prep time...I have 2 toddlers and a rapidly forming baby bump..ain't nobody got time for time consuming dinners.
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